I really can't say enough about the people that came from all over to this ridiculous thing. I would take a grazing bullet to the calf for all the people that finished BM, even @ImFlo. However, the real heroes are the Conjurer (there is only one), the band Low Speed Chase, and my amazing Mom, who made 25 lbs. of pulled pork that was completely gone by sunrise.
Beef had his chance to change his moniker to another type of animal flesh, but he stayed with the red meat.
@Beef Juice was my player hero of Burning Mort. That 40-year-old man traveled by car solo from Iowa, embraced the experience both days, had his teammates quit because they couldn't handle the copious amounts of drink, then continued to soldier on through every round with vigor. True BM competitor.
There are shimmering moments for each and every person that came to the experience. I'd like to share a few of the phrases or action items from people at BM that I jotted down the days after. These may or may not be exact, but pretty sure my mind was lucid as could be.
@Leonardite, after BM commenced and looking at the effigy -- "I mean, don't you think we should burn the cock?"
Beef Juice, after his teammates ghosted him after round 2 -- "Beef for one?"
@segathonsov, after the NBA Jam Cabinet was revealed in the enclosed trailer throws his arms in the air and states, "How do they know my dreams before I do?"
Josh 2.0, when playing the final round to bring home the BM championship -- "Fuck this fucking dildo, man. I mean, seriously. Fuck this thing."
@averagetsbplayer, arrived completely drunk off the plane from wherever he was coming in from to meet us the night before BM, then asking randoms in the street at 2am -- "Hey you. Is it pronounced FarGO, or FarJOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO?
Flo, during the 4 hours of setup time it took for the BM crew to get ready, painted some "happy little trophies" sitting next to the beer kegs while the breeze blew through his hair. Those trophies are the shit, by the way. Then, after the final ceremonies and yours truly taking home two of the trophies, he stated, "You selfish prick."
The Conjurer, after eating his 8th pork sandwich, "This pork fucks."
Tucker came in after another engagement to join the experience in the afternoon, autojoined Team Beef, then started to drink heavily. After the closing ceremonies he states, "Now let's get drunk!"
@DionBoespflug, when looking at the 12 different types of fruit phalli before BM grabs one and says, "This is a nice, earthy dick."
@SammieSmith33, coined the PCB (People's Champ's Brother) at BM, deserves every accolade in the book. His gymnastic/Russian hybrid high-kicks during LSC were inspiring. During the blindfold round, he got real close and whispered soft, sweet nothings into my ear while I was playing, one time saying, "Right in the A works every time."
@sonofpatbeach, during the Mortgasm round, "Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Get ready! I can feel one coming on!"
Burning Mort week is like Christmas, Chanukah, Chinese New Year, Winter Solstice, Kwanzaa and Bodhi Day wrapped into one.
I'm so very excited for BMIV. There are still some tricks left that we haven't performed and some themes yet to unearth. We can only hope they please the Conjurer.