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Miles Prower

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About Miles Prower

  • Rank
    Promising Rookie
  • Birthday 06/23/2001

Profile Information

  • Gender
    Male
  • Location
    Minnesota
  • Interests
    Making terrible ROM edits and never figuring out how in the hell to sprite edit.

Other

  • Custom Title
    "Worst Passer, 2018-2018"

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  1. Unfortunately, I'm going to be a lazy fuck this week and skip shitposting. See you guys in the playoffs when the Vikings inevitably fuck it all up! (Not that they deserve to be in the playoffs, even if they do somehow make it.) Miami Dolphins @ Buffalo Bills - Dolphins Detroit Lions @ Green Bay Packers - Packers New York Jets @ New England Patriots - Patriots Carolina Panthers @ New Orleans Saints - Saints Dallas Cowboys @ New York Giants - Cowboys Atlanta Falcons @ Tampa Bay Buccaneers - Falcons Jacksonville Jaguars @ Houston Texans - Texans Los Angeles Chargers @ Denver Broncos - Chargers Oakland Raiders @ Kansas City Chiefs - Chiefs San Francisco 49ers @ Los Angeles Rams - Rams Chicago Bears @ Minnesota Vikings - Bears Cincinnati Bengals @ Pittsburgh Steelers - Bungles Arizona Cardinals @ Seattle Seahawks - Seahawks Philadelphia Eagles @ Washington Redskins - Iggles Cleveland Browns @ Baltimore Ravens - Browns. Somehow. Indianapolis Colts @ Tennessee Titans - Titans
  2. Washington Redskins @ Tennessee Titans - Why, Part 15: Fuck making these rhyme. Ah yes, a shit show match-up of the team injured to fuck, versus the team with a zero percent chance of making the playoffs. I'll go with the Titans, I guess. Baltimore Ravens @ Los Angeles Chargers - The Ravens are good, but the Chargers are a powerhouse at the moment. I expect this will be close, but LAC will end up winning. Cincinnati Bengals @ Cleveland Browns - WOOOOOOOO MAGICAL BROWNS BULLSHIT MAGIC Tampa Bay Buccaneers @ Dallas Cowboys - >Tampon Gay Fuckaqueers. Dallas wins because fuck it. Minnesota Vikings @ Detroit Lions - The Vikings continue to somehow actually do things and by winning this, have about an 80% chance of making the playoffs. We really don't deserve to, though. New York Giants @ Indianapolis Colts - Andrew Luck slaughters more teams as usual. All Hail the 2014 Colts, who traveled in time to play this season. Jacksonville Jaguars @ Miami Dolphins - Miami wins because Jacksonville is a nuclear wasteland that has killed all their talent with radiation poisoning. Buffalo Bills @ New England Patriots - Patriots beat the Bills as usual. Nothing to see here, carry on. Green Bay Packers @ New York Jets - I'll go with the odd choice here, but this will likely bite me in the ass. However, Rodgers played like shit last week, and I really don't think the Packers give a fuck anymore. Go for it, >Jest. Houston Texans @ Philadelphia Eagles - Houston continues to destroy shit by spamming their Randy Moss incarnate, DeAndre Hopkins. Atlanta Falcons @ Carolina Panthers - The Panthers choke more and eliminate themselves from the playoffs. Press F to pay respects. Just kidding, let's all laugh at the Panthers' failure. Kek. Los Angeles Rams @ Arizona Cardinals - Yes, the Rams are falling to shit, but there's no way they can lose to the CARDINALS, right? Right? Chicago Bears @ San Francisco 49ers - Bring out your dead QBs, cause the Bears have killed their QBRs and knees before the game even begins. Pittsburgh Steelers @ New Orleans Saints - This is a tough one to pick, but I'll go with the Saints, again. Kansas City Chiefs @ Seattle Seahawks - Kansas City nukes more shit. There's really nothing to say here. I guess it's a cool old school AFC West match-up? I dunno. Denver Broncos @ Oakland Raiders - Raiders meme a win from a struggling Broncos squad.
  3. Los Angeles Chargers @ Kansas City Chiefs - A bit of a weird choice, but I'll take the upset choice here. I'm of course going to get fucked over by this, but screw it. Houston Texans @ New York Jets - >Jest That's all I need to say. Cleveland Browns @ Denver Broncos - The Browns use bullshit magic and get a decent record this year. Arizona Cardinals @ Atlanta Falcons - Prepare to watch as the Atlanta Choke Machines choke, but I'll go with the... "better?" team I guess. Detroit Lions @ Buffalo Bills - Why, Part 15: The worst we've ever seen. Jesus Christ I'm not watching this shit. Not even on recaps. I don't care if it ends up being the greatest game of all time somehow, just fuck this game. Bills win because fuck it. Green Bay Packers @ Chicago Bears - Chicago continues to rape everyone because they used voodoo magic to revive the 1985 Bears Defense. Oakland Raiders @ Cincinnati Bengals - Both of these teams are flaming dumpsterfires full of shit, but I'll go with the Raiders because I don't trust the Bungles. Dallas Cowboys @ Indianapolis Colts - This one should be pretty close, but I expect the Cowboys to win and continue Jerry's Wank Train Express. Miami Dolphins @ Minnesota Vikings - CONGRATULATIONS, VIKINGS! YOUR SEASON IS COMPLETELY FUCKED! WATCH AS KIRK COUSINS THROWS 3 INTS TO A BOTTOM TIER DEFENSE AND CHECKS DOWN 73 TIMES! WHAT A GREAT USE OF $84 MILLION FUCKING DOLLARS GUARANTEED! WATCH AS WE DESCEND INTO THE QUALITY OF THE EARLY 2000s VIKINGS! Please kill me. Tennessee Titans @ New York Giants - The Giants continue their win streak and fuck up their tanking. Washington Redskins @ Jacksonville Jaguars - The buttfumble throws 6 INTs, gets benched and the Jags win a pointless game. Tampa Bay Buccaneers @ Baltimore Ravens - Baltimore continues their momentum and beats the Fuckaqueers into submission en route to the playoffs. Seattle Seahawks @ San Francisco 49ers - 49ers: No QB, no RB, no WRs, no O-Line. Seahawks: QB, RBs, WRs, something that slightly resembles and O-Line. The End. New England Patriots @ Pittsburgh Steelers - New Englands wins again in this meme matchup. Also, THE STEELERS LOST TO THE RAIDERS AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA Philadelphia Eagles @ Los Angeles Rams - The Rams are starting to burn out, but they should be able to beat a dead Eagles team. New Orleans Saints @ Carolina Panthers - More patented Drew Brees nuking as well as Cam Newton overthrowing everything and choking a game away.
  4. Jacksonville Jaguars @ Tennessee Titans - Why the fuck was this on a Thursday? New York Jets @ Buffalo Bills - Josh Allen destroys the mediocre defense of the Jets, etc. Carolina Panthers @ Cleveland Browns - Carolina chokes some more and gives up a game to those Browns. Atlanta Falcons @ Green Bay Packers - The Packers blow everything up but still win because the Falcons are a fucking choke machine. Baltimore Ravens @ Kansas City Chiefs - The Chiefs continue to slaughter everyone. New England Patriots @ Miami Dolphins - Tom Brady beats the shit out of division fodder en route to ANOTHER goddamn Super Bowl win. New Orleans Saints @ Tampa Bay Buccaneers - Drew Brees recovers from the previous tomfuckery and continues killing everyone. New York Giants @ Washington Redskins - The buttfumble proceeds to be massacred by a shit tier Giants squad. Indianapolis Colts @ Houston Texans - Yadda yadda, Texans, yadda yadda hot streak, etc. Cincinnati Bengals @ Los Angeles Chargers - The Bengals are just plain fucked. Next. Denver Broncos @ San Francisco 49ers - Case Memeum continues to somehow win games and uses bullshit magic to get the Broncos into the playoffs. Philadelphia Eagles @ Dallas Cowboys - The Cowboys continue to win, which will lead to Jason Garrett STILL NOT BEING FUCKING FIRED REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE Pittsburgh Steelers @ Oakland Raiders - No explanation required. Detroit Lions @ Arizona Cardinals - Ah, here we are again. WHY, Part 14: What the fuck rhymes with 14. Matthew Stafford chokes to death on more superglue and the Cardinals somehow win. Los Angeles Rams @ Chicago Bears - This could get interesting. I'll take a risk and go with the Bears' defense here. Now watch as they get torched to fuck. Minnesota Vikings @ Seattle Seahawks - I don't even care if we win this, I'm not watching this. We're already fucked, Vikings.
  5. N´╗┐ew´╗┐ Orle´╗┐ans Sai´╗┐n´╗┐t´╗┐s´╗┐ @ Dallas Cowboys - The Cowboys may be on a roll, but there's no goddamn way they're going to beat the Saints. Baltimore Ravens @ Atlanta Falcons - This is a tough one, but I'll go with the rookie over the choke machine. Denver Broncos @ Cincinnati Bengals - Fucking missed this one. Los ´╗┐Angeles Rams @ Detroit Lions - OP God team vs who gives a shit. Rams continue to rape any team they pass. Arizona Cardinals @ Green Bay Packers - This is ALMOST a "Why" game, but it barely saves itself. Aaron Rodgers uses more bullshit magic to carry the entire team to a win. Buffalo Bills @ Miami Dolphins - Ah here we are. WHY, Part 12, put your hopes on the shelve. Let's all pour bleach in our eyes as Josh Allen memes his way to another win. Chica´╗┐go Bea´╗┐rs @ New York Giants - Eli Manning continues to fail to throw a football and gets fucking murdered by Khalil Mack. Carolina Panthers @ Tampa Bay Buccaneers - This is... actually a toss-up here. But, the Fuckaqueers are extreme chokers, so I'll go with Carolina. In´╗┐dian´╗┐apolis Co´╗┐lt´╗┐s @ Jacksonville Jaguars - Jacksonville committed seppuku in Week 5, and the corpse has been rotting since. Colts win. Cleveland Browns @ Houston Texan´╗┐s - I really, REALLY wanna pick the Browns here, but I just gotta pick the Texans. I know the Browns are gonna pull off a win here, but I have to go with the better team here. Best of luck, Browns. New York Jets @ Tennessee Titans - What's that? Ah, yes, I nearly forgot. WHY, Part 13: The worst of the worst has yet to be seen (For real). Two swarms of mediocre shit fight for the right to lose draft position. The Titans suck less ass, so I'll go with them here. Kansas City Chiefs @ Oakland Raiders Minnesota Vikings @ New England Patriots San Francisco 49ers @ Seattle Seahawks Los Angeles Chargers @ Pittsburgh Steelers Washington Redskins @ Philadelphia Eagles
  6. "Miles is a lazy shitlord and probably takes a break from shitposting." Chica´╗┐go Bea´╗┐rs @ Detroit Lions Washington Redskins @ Dallas Cowboys Atlanta Falcons @ N´╗┐ew´╗┐ Orleans Sai´╗┐n´╗┐t´╗┐s Jacksonville Jaguars @ Buffalo Bills Cleveland ´╗┐Browns @ Cincinnati Bengals New England Patriots @ New York Jets New York Giants @ Philadelphia Eagles San Francisco 49ers @ Tampa Bay Buccaneers Seattle Seahawks @ Carolina Panthers Oakland Raiders @ Baltimore´╗┐ Ravens´╗┐ Arizona Cardinals @ Los Angeles Charg´╗┐ers Pittsburgh Steelers @ Denver Broncos Miami Dolphins @ In´╗┐dian´╗┐apolis Co´╗┐lt´╗┐s´╗┐ Green Bay Packers @ Minnesota Vikings Tennessee Titans @ Houston Texan´╗┐s
  7. Fuck, I got too caught up with shit and missed Thursday. Fuck it, might as well continue. Cincinnati Bengals @ Baltimore Ravens - The Bengals have been playing like shit. That's all I really gotta say. Pittsburgh Steelers @ Jacksonville Jaguars - Pittsburgh continues to rape the league with bullshit magic like Big Ben does to women. Carolina Panthers @ Detroit Lions - >Durrtroit. Carolina beats the kid in a wheelchair in an uphill race. Just sad. Tennessee Titans @ In´╗┐dianapolis Co´╗┐lt´╗┐s - It's that time again! Why, Part 11: Everyone goes 9-7. Andrew Luck bullshits his way to another win because the Titans are a fucking Lolcow. Dallas Cowboys @ Atlanta Falcons - Atlanta flaunts their signature choking skills and chokes on Jerry's wrinkly old dick. Tampa Bay Buccaneers @ New York Giants - Fuck, it's happening again. Why, Part 11B: Why does this keep happening to me. I guess I'll go with New York here since they won last we... nah, fuck it, Bucs win because I don't know anymore. Houston Texan´╗┐s @ Washington Redskins - I'll go with the off pick of Houston. Washington is a shit-tier team posing as a contender. Oakland Raiders @ Arizona Cardinals - Why, Part 11C: GOOD GOD, HELP ME PLEASE. WHY ARE THERE SO MANY FUCKING TERRIBLE GAMES PLEASE KILL ME. ARIZONA WINS AND I DRINK AN ENTIRE 5 GALLONS OF CYANIDE IN 2 MINUTES. Denver Broncos @ Los Angeles Charg´╗┐ers - Denver proceeds to flop more as the Chargers continue to their inevitable Divisional Round choke. Philadelphia Eagles @ N´╗┐ew´╗┐ Orleans Sai´╗┐n´╗┐t´╗┐s - The Eagles have officially run out of gas. I predict that they're done. The Saints continue to steamroll an easy schedule. Minnesota Vikings @ Chicago Bears - Please don't fuck this up, Vikings. The Bears are a tough team to beat right now, but I think the Vikes can power through. Probably. Goddamnit, now Cousins is gonna throw 4 INTs and rupture his Achilles. Kansas City Chiefs @ Los Angeles Rams - Is this... is this an actually good game...? PRAISE BE THE FOOTBALL GODS! Also I need a bit to decide who wins this powerhouse matchup. Get your popcorn, folks.
  8. Fuck. The Vikings are on their bye week. Guess I'll have to work on that ROM of mine or some shit. Carolina Panthers @ Pittsburgh Steelers - Cam Newton and the meme squad expose the shitty Steeler defense and Pittsburgh falls into mediocrity again for this week. N´╗┐ew´╗┐ Orleans Sai´╗┐n´╗┐t´╗┐s @ Cincinnati Bengals - The Saints continue to beat the shit out of the NFL harder than Burfict tries to break people's necks. Atlanta Falcons @ Cleveland ´╗┐Browns - PLEASE SEND HELP THIS IS MILES' EDITOR WHY DOES HE KEEP BEATING ME AND FORCING ME TO MAKE TERRIBLE PICKS PLEASE CALL THE POLICE. Miami Dolphins @ Green Bay Packers - Aaron Rodgers carries his team with more bullshit magic. The End. Jacksonville Jaguars @ Indianapolis Colts - Excuse me while I vomit from looking at this game. Andrew Luck manages to meme the Colts to a win and the Jags send an abandon ship warning. Detroit Lions @ Chica´╗┐go Bea´╗┐rs´╗┐´╗┐´╗┐ - The Lions' offense is raped and pillaged to a level the Vikings displayed last week. Again in the words of UrinatingTree, YOU'RE FUCKED. Arizona Cardinals @ K´╗┐ansas City Chi´╗┐efs - See above quote. YOU'RE FUCKED. Chiefs win. New England Patriots @ Tennessee Titans - Brady destroys more shit because why not. Wa´╗┐shington ´╗┐Redski´╗┐´╗┐ns @ Tampa Bay Buccaneers - Oh boy, the Skins vs the Tampon Gay Fuckaqueers. The Redskins win because the Bucs are pure flaming shit. Buffalo Bills @ New York Jets - Why, Part 10: It's this shit, again. Who. The hell. Cares? >Jest win because fuck it. Los Angeles Charg´╗┐ers @ Oakland Raiders - Raiders win. I'm just fuckin' with ya', there is no goddamn way the Raiders win, considering how ass they are. Enjoy the #1 Pick, Oakland! (And the team, while you can.) Seattle Seahawks @ Los ´╗┐Angeles Rams - The Rams may have lost last week, but this should be where they get back on a 2 or 3 game win streak. That and the Seahawks are ass. Rams win. Dallas Cowboys @ Philadelphia Eagles - Oh no no, I'm not falling for this shit, Cowboys. I don't care if the Eagles have been struggling, you WILL lose against the Eagles and I am NOT going to accept anything else. New York Giants @ S´╗┐an Francisco 49´╗┐er´╗┐s - For the first time, I have to do this. Why, Part 10B: Just kill me. 49ers barely win in a shitfest war. Where's the cyanide? I wanna die before I have to even look at this game again.
  9. Vikings Select Josh Ferguson Nyheim Hines
  10. Vikings Select Jarvis Landry Antonio Callaway
  11. Vikings select Aaron Colvin Whitney Mercilus
  12. Vikings take Denver OL and the Mediocre TEs.
  13. The Vikings select Michael Thomas and Ted Ginn.
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