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Mike Gordan

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Mike Gordan last won the day on December 12 2018

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About Mike Gordan

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  1. Couldn't you, like, put these teams in alphabetical order or something? I have no idea where to look for anything here. Also it should be noted that for anybody who is even remotely familiar with a certain YouTuber named UrinatingTree, I recommend you go check him out. He actually does cover a lot of bases and is genuinely funny to look at. He even did two videos on the Cleveland Browns--the second video after they completed their disastrous 0-16 season.
  2. Well, I had to sit back and now it's time for another Power Rankings: 32. New England Patriots: Rob Gronkowski had chosen to retire. Josh Gordon was a wasted investment in spite of his talent. And Tom Brady's going to be 42. The Super Bowl was a complete joke that exposed just how undeserving either team was of actually going to a Super Bowl. Even their defense is starting to look less and less impressive by the day. Oh, and Robert Craft is the next target of the #MeToo Witchhunt. The Patriots dynasty is officially over. 31. Los Angeles Rams: It turned out the main reason why the Rams were so bloody terrible in the Super Bowl was because Todd Gurley has Arthritis! Good god the Rams were even fortunate that the League decided to rig the playoffs to ensure that the Rams and Patriots clash in the Super Bowl because once the 2019 regular season kicks into gear, this team is going to be fucked. 30. Kansas City Chiefs: Watch as the Chiefs utterly blew up what was left of a once prosperous defensive unit under Andy Reid and literally did nothing to address the missing gaps on that side of the ball. Why? Because Patrick Mahomes is about to get hit hard by the Dan Marino effect so much worse than Dan Marino ever got. At least Marino got to play in the Super Bowl. It looks like the championship window for the Chiefs is on the brink of closing all the way shut. May God have mercy on all their souls. 29. Baltimore Ravens: I have repeatedly stated this before and I'll say it again; I do not trust Lamar Jackson. Really, it was only because of the switch from Joe Flacco to Lamarr Jackson that threw off a ton of other upcoming opponents' gameplan. Once they faced down a team they crushed in the regular season mere weeks prior in the playoffs, and the curtains were pulled; the Ravens simply are not as good as that playoff berth may have let on. Especially following the Pittsburgh Steelers collapse late in the season. Now watch as they must play a full season having to compete with a resurgent Cleveland Browns, as well as a first place schedule with the Patriots and Chiefs. 28. Houston Texans: Isn't it too late to point out just how lackluster the Texans were in making the playoffs. At one point the team looked so bloody skittish and mistake-prone as though afraid of losing that they ended up losing their first three games in the regular season. They only answered this by cashing in on a piss-easy schedule and winning their division. They probably could have gone even farther though had it not been for the fact that Ref Ball decided to rig the season in favor of the Patriots by ensuring that no matter what happens, the Patriots would secure at least a first round bye. Not that it matters because even if the Texans actually won that game against the Eagles, they still would have been destroyed at home by the Patriots. 27. Pittsburgh Steelers: You are ranked this low simply because you have 18 parts dedicated to your repeated failures of the previous season; the never-ending drama; as well as the departure of some of the League's most toxic of personalities--yet highly talented of playmakers in spite said toxicities. Antonio Brown LeVeon Bell, and Jesse James among many other names are now gone. Now, all that remains of the Steelers glory days is an injury-prone quarterback who, while nowhere near as old and elderly as Tom Brady or Drew Brees, is still nearing retirement age. I can't even rate this team any higher as a joke; they already are one. 26. Chicago Bears: The good news is that they fired their kicker. The bad news is, many of the key defensive players from their glorious comeback a year ago are now gone, and more than ever, Mitch Trubisky has a target on his back. Honestly, unless they tap into necromancy to resurrect the 1985 Bears, they're royally fucked. Even then, the Bears team would ultimately be penalized to oblivion and with any prospect of reaching a Super Bowl denied by the current NFL's hell bent witch hunt of all defensive strategies, tactics, and interactions. The more regulated the game becomes, the less fun it is to watch. And in turn, the more necessary and easier it becomes to start rigging these games. It's gonna happen unless Tom Green shows up and accuses Roger Goodell of fingering Freddy. Maybe Robert Craft has the tapes and is holding on to it as blackmail. 25. Philadelphia Eagles: Nick Foles--the man who brought the long suffering and greatly misunderstood Eagle fanbase their first Super Bowl in franchise history--has now been cast out into Jacksonville to hopefully lead the Jaguars to glory (honestly, I would have wanted Foles to become a Denver Bronco, but beggers can't be choosers). The good news is that Carson Wentz is still the man to continue this dynasty-in-the-wings as he was the guy that set the stage for Foles to finish the race for him. Unfortunately, the Eagles have been largely gutted of their talented Super Bowl roster two seasons ago, and now somewhat resembles more the 2013 season in which Foles first delivered them out of the abyss of Oblivion. I guess it isn't too much of a bad thing even though they are aging stars. We'll see; I'm just not all that hyped for Eagle mania. Speaking of aging stars.... 24. New Orleans Saints: No team got screwed harder by the refs rigging games due to Robert Kraft's blackmail of fingering Freddy than the New Orleans Saints. They were by far the best team in the NFL in 2018, and with the problems plaguing teams like the Rams, Patriots and Chiefs, it was all but guaranteed that they would have made it in if not for the fact that the game was rigged and scripted to favor the Patriots and Rams no matter what their skill levels were by the end of the season. What makes it even worse is that Drew Brees will officially be entering his age 40 season--soon to be 41--and thus their championship window is rapidly declining. The main reason why they rate as high as they do is because the rest of the NFC South has been suspiciously quiet. So for all I know, this Power Ranking is totally inaccurate. 23. Dallas Cowboys: They sure did shoot for that massive upgrade by hiring Jason Witten out of the broadcasting booth and back onto a Dallas Cowboys jersey in spite being a complete shell of his former self and arguably being even older than Tom Brady. It seems that Jerry Jones never could figure out how this "Free Agency" is supposed to work given that he blew his chance to acquire Deon Sanders from the 49ers a couple dozen years ago. 22. Indianapolis Colts: Another team that, similar to the Texans, started off as a complete trainwreck before getting their shit together to stitch together a complete comeback that even saw them dismantling their division champion little brother in a comeback season for the ages. Also like the Ravens, they even benefited from the Steelers epic late season collapse as well as the Titans tripping up at the finish line. 21. Los Angeles Chargers: The team has been rather quiet in Free Agency while the team stares down potential bankruptcy at the hands of an incompetent owner who doesn't give a shit that nobody else does either in Los Angeles. Charger nation was born, raised, and nurtured in San Diego. They were merely conceived in Los Angeles and then handed over to San Diego as a surrogate. The team is so bloody incompetent as well that they don't know how to execute gameplans well against even the most basic of football teams. Philip Rivers winning this team a Super Bowl is not only most likely the ticket that must be necessary for him to get into Canton but also in making the Chargers relevant in a town that does not want them. 20. Seattle Seahawks: The Legion of Boom is dead. Only Russell Wilson and a couple other holdovers from that era remain in Seattle. It looks rather dire, but at least they are not staring down the barrel of the gun like the Patriots, who can only get where they are by holding Tom Green hostage and preventing him from spilling the truth that Roger Goodell fingers Freddy. No, the Seahawks main problem is that they have too many vampires, werewolves, and bad fanfiction best served as pornography to worry about. Overall, meh. 19. Minnesota Vikings: Man, is Kirk Cousins a stud or what? Too bad his offensive line is irredeemably bad, and much of their defense is pretty much gone as well. How many more quarterbacks will it take before the Vikings realize that the only hope that they have of ever winning a Super Bowl is to steal the Patriots photographs incriminating Roger Goodell (and possibly Brady and Belechick) and blackmailing Goodell into supplying them with a lifetime supply of KFC. Yeah, even with the blackmail and Brady and Belechick on their side, the Vikings would still find ways to crush the hopes and dreams of Viking fans everywhere. 18. Tennessee Titans: Can Marcus Mariota stay healthy? Is his new head coach even remotely competent? He does hail from the coaching tree of Bill Belichick, who is far more toxic than the refs rigging games in their favor. Especially since none of his other coaches or coordinators never really saw success in the NFL level. 17. Atlanta Falcons: Hey, you're not important enough to remember! 16. Cincinnati Bengals: They fired Marvin Lewis. Now the Bengals can get right back into winning, provided they are not mediocre to the point of being forgettable like the Falcons. 15. Green Bay Packers: They also fired coach Mike McCarthy after losing to the lowly Browns. Maybe then, they'll finally be able to see to it that the Packers will finally make it back to the Super Bowl now that they made a big splash in Free Agency. Then again, considering just how much the NFL loves the Patriots and will do anything to make sure that the Patriots dynasty continues on indefinitely, I think any hopes or aspirations for this team will ultimately prove to be futile. 14. Tampa Bay Buccaneers: An offensive juggernaut finally got rid of a couple problem pieces on offense and has now bolstered up their defensive unit to a point that would make Tony Dungy proud. You hear me? Tony Dungy's going to be proud of the Bucs this season. He's going to be so proud. Now go ahead Jameis Winston and make Tony Dungy proud. Proud!? Proud! 13. San Francisco 49ers: Speaking of Free Agency signings, no team has been hitting home runs in Free Agency as aggressively as the 49ers who are looking to thoroughly dethrone the overrated Sean McVay and the Los Angeles Rams as NFC West kings once again. Now if only they can go a whole year without Jimmy Garoppolo landing in the hospital. After all, if Jimmy Garoppolo can't stay healthy, then he's just an expensive waste of talent and will. And if word of that were to get out, then he could lose his job. HE COULD LOSE ALL OF THIS! AND WE WOULDN'T WANT THAT TO HAPPEN WOULD WE!? WOULD WE!? HUH!? 12. New York Jets: The Jets, just like the 49ers, have also made a big splash in free agency, including the acquisition of LeVeon Bell from the Steelers. And Sam Darnold is looking to become the next Peyton Manning--hopefully with more playoff success than he was ever provided. Maybe the hiring of Adam Gase will actually be a good one this time around. At least Darnold has promise. 11. Cleveland Browns: I'm cautiously optimistic about this team, so don't freak out that this team isn't number 1. They are still the Browns. They really did upgrade their offense and defense the past couple years, and anybody at head coach might as well be an upgrade over Hue Jackson. Just keep your fingers crossed that the Browns will at least be good enough to compete for a Playoff berth, if not a Super Bowl run. Fingers crossed Cleveland fans. I hope the Browns are good I have my fingers crossed! I hope the Browns are good; I have my fingers crossed! I have my fingers crossed! Crossed! Crossed? Cross...ed. 10. Buffalo Bills: Their defense is getting buffed up, and Josh Allen is going to be handed some offensive weapons again. Too bad their offensive line is still shit, but at least Josh Allen can scramble and improvise on the fly. It'd be interesting to see if the Bills make any serious strides here. 9. Carolina Panthers: The owner that helped craft a dominant 15-1 is now gone, and so too is most of the team as a whole. Their offensive line isn't all that great, either, and the only serious playmaker right now is the running back, Christian McCaffrey. But all the way up until their collapse, Cam Newton crafted and willed the Panthers to victory week in and week out. Just so long as Cam Newton stays healthy, he'll be fine. I see no problems for this team in the foreseeable future. 8. Detroit Lions: The team is being reinvented and reinvigorated thanks to the former defensive coordinator of the New England Patriots. Matthew Stafford is still a top five quarterback in the NFL, and I'm sticking with it. 7. Jacksonville Jaguars: Behold the glory of Super Bowl MVP Nick Foles and hero of the Eagles finally being signed in to do unto Jacksonville what he had done unto Philadelphia--deliver them to the promise land. Finish what Blake Bortles failed miserably in accomplishing two years ago the same year the Eagles won it all--to win it all for Jacksonville. Make the Jaguars Great Again! 6. Washington Redskins: QB Alex Smith is bound to be healthier than ever after suffering a minor booboo that took him out of the game against the Texans and ultimately killed any semblance the Redskins may have had at actually competing for a Super Bowl last year. I mean Adrien Peterson is only a dinosaur rather than an ageless wonder like Frank Gore. And many of their defensive players are gone and their offense was ultimately bolstered by former Giant wideouts not named Odell Beckam Jr. (he went to Cleveland, obviously). 5. Oakland Raider: Man is Jon Gruden a genius or what, even as the owner Mark Davis is on the verge of going bankrupt and the Raiders are currently homeless, Jon has by all accounts set his eyes on building another Super team with the Raiders. Especially after signing former Steeler superstar Antonio Brown. I'm sure he's going to get his shit together and lead the Raiders to greatness! 4. Miami Dolphins: They fired Adam Gase and then chucked Ryan Tannehill to the Tennessee Titans. Took them long enough. In his stead, they are now leading with QB afficianado and future first round ballot Hall of Famer Ryan Fitzpatrick, who will lead the Dolphins to strip the Patriots of their iron grip on the AFC East--and by extension, the league as a whole, for close to two whole decades now, and finally lead the Dolphins to greatness. 3. New York Giants: All the cancers on offense are gone, and the aging defense is purged. The Giants are blowing it all up and starting fresh, with the exception of ageless wonder Eli Manning and rookie sensation Saquon Barkley. They don't need an offensive line; just start over from scratch, and you're bound to compete for a Super Bowl. Speaking of ageless wonders.... 2. Arizona Cardinals: Behold, a team whose players have not aged a day. With barely a hint of injury history to any of them. And the best rookie quarterback out of a loaded 2018 class in Josh Rosen. All they needed to do was fire Steve Wilks, and all their ills have been absolved. The Cardinals are going to the Super Bowl for sure this year. 1. Denver Broncos: Yes, my team is the ultimate team not just in the NFL but in all of sport. The legendary signing of Joe Flacco and the firing of failed coaching experiment in Vance Joseph will translate into immediate success for the Broncos in the near future. Also greatly-underachieving-ever-since-he-got-paid WR Demaryius Thomas is also gone. Took them long enough. Now the Orange Crush defense has been bolstered with fresh faces led by Super Bowl 50 MVP Von Miller, and Joe Flacco will lead a juggernaut offense that would make Peyton Manning's record-shattering season look like the premiere offense of the Tampa Bay Buccaneers back in 1976. A new dynasty is on the horizon. Okay, seriously, I would kill if my Power Rankings were even remotely close to being accurate heading into next year. Except for the Dolphins and Raiders; couldn't really care less for them.
  3. Consider me done with the NFL. Call me when the Patriots actually fall apart. They'll probably end up closing their next season at 7-9 and still be handed another trip to the AFC Championship game, if not another Super Bowl berth, on a silver platter. This is ridiculous at this point. And to think, the NBA experts were calling LeBron James vs. Golden State Warriors 5 years in a row good Basketball. This is just as bad because it basically demonstrates that either how the NFL handles things like Free Agency, the Salary Cap, and the reffing to be an absolute failure, or--if you are of the conspiratorial mind that the modern NFL as a whole is exclusively beneficial to the Patriots--a glorious success. I don't care if my Super Bowl pick is wrong. I do not care if I'm right. It's a disastrous product, and it seems to have gotten worse every year since 2012. At least prior to Peyton Manning's retirement, it wasn't necessarily a given that the Patriots would reach the Super Bowl, much less secure a first round playoff bye. Heck, the retirement of the old Steelers and Ravens defenses, as well as Manning's retirement basically means the Patriots are the de facto AFC Champions every year until Brady's knees give out...presumably in another 20 years and after winning another 20 rings. This is flat out ridiculous, as the league--whether they are even aware of this or not--have basically become a rigged state.
  4. I'm locked into 1st place, so no need to explain my reasonings as to why I'm picking the home team both times in the Conference Championship games. Worth noting that we've never had a Super Bowl between two 2 Seeds, and the San Francisco 49ers and the Baltimore Ravens were the last teams to win a Conference Championship game on the road--both in 2012. Also since then, the 2016 Atlanta Falcons were the only team ranked below the 1 Seed to have reached the Super Bowl (they were the 2nd Seed).
  5. @Knobbe Don't forget to put in your picks. You can still contend for 2nd Place, you know.
  6. Time to make my picks. Seeing as I only need to get one more pick right in order to win this whole thing, I might as well play: Picking the Chiefs to beat the Colts simply because the Chiefs are by far the most explosive offense in the NFL this year. Granted, they've slowed down quite a bit ever since Kareem Hunt wrecked his career by being a dumbass, but you know what? I'm giving them the benefit of the doubt, here. The Rams, I am picking because while the Cowboys are formidable on defense and can score points when necessary, they lack the firepower necessary to keep pace with the Rams. Todd Gurley should be healthy by then, and even if he isn't, there's still CJ Anderson. And then LB Aaron Donald. I rest my case. Honestly, the Patriots have been sluggish, and no clobbering two bad teams at home doesn't help matters much. They look old and well past their prime. They only got a first round bye wrapped up for them because the Texans AND Steelers both had to have a meltdown to close out their respective seasons. The one thing that might spoil the upset, however (aside from the fact that Philip Rivers has never bested Brady and Belechick, not even during the 2008 season where the former was lost for the entire year), as well as how bloody mistake prone they tend to be in spite their immense talents. Don't screw this up, Chargers! And then I'm picking the Saints to beat the Eagles. While I do believe the game will be much more competitive than it was when they last played this season, the fact remains that the Saints demonstrated just how many bloody lightyears ahead they are of the Eagles. Definitely as close to a lock as they come. I await the rest of you guys' choices. I'll keep @drummer4god and @Miles Prower active for one more week just to be safe. Especially since even with their no-shows, they are still ahead of TecmoSuperFan in the win column. Don't forget to put your picks in by Saturday.
  7. @Miles [email protected]'t forget to make your picks before tomorrow. There are games on Saturdays and Sundays during the Wild Card and Divisional rounds.
  8. Mike Gordan

    Poetry Hour

    There was once a man from Venus, With a rocket for a penis. There was once a woman from China, With a popsicle stick in her vagina. And then my friend, you die. - Butthead
  9. @Mike Gordan: IND, SEA, LAC, CHI; KC, LAR, LAC, NO; NO, KC; NE @TecmoSuperFan: HOU, SEA, BAL, CHI; KC, LAR, LAC, NO; LAR, KC; @gojiphen malor: IND, DAL, LAC, PHI; IND, DAL, LAC, PHI; n/a, n/a; @Knobbe: HOU, DAL, LAC, CHI; n/a, n/a, n/a, n/a; NO, KC; @BigCat71: HOU, SEA, LAC, CHI; KC, LAR, NE, NO; LAR, KC; @drummer4god: LAR, KC; 1st: Mike Gordan: 0-0 (176-90) 2nd: BigCat71: 6-4 (167-99) 3rd: gojiphen malor: 4-6 (166-100) 4th: Knobbe: 2-8 (165-101) 5th: drummer4god: 1-9 (151-115) 6th: TecmoSuperFan: 4-6 (150-116)
  10. Time for an updated Power Rankings. For now, I'm pretty much am just going to rank all the teams based off of draft order (so far): 32. Arizona Cardinals (3-13) 31. San Francisco 49ers (4-12) 30. New York Jets (4-12) 29. Oakland Raiders (4-12) 28. Tampa Bay Buccaneers (5-11) 27. New York Giants (5-11) 26. Jacksonville Jaguars (5-11) 25. Detroit Lions (6-10) 24. Buffalo Bills (6-10) 23. Denver Broncos (6-10) 22. Cincinnati Bengals (6-10) 21. Green Bay Packers (6-9-1) 20. Miami Dolphins (7-9) 19. Atlanta Falcons (7-9) 18. Washington Redskins (7-9) 17. Carolina Panthers (7-9) 16. Cleveland Browns (7-8-1) 15. Minnesota Vikings (8-7-1) 14. Tennessee Titans (9-7) 13. Pittsburgh Steelers (9-6-1) And the top 12 teams are all playoff teams. My arrangement here is based relatively on where I think the 12 teams rank in relation to one another as far as who the best teams in the NFL are going to be. Might as well, after all: 12. Philadelphia Eagles (9-7): Yes, the Eagles have had an incredibly strong finish in order to clinch the 6th seed. But when you get right down to it, I do think the Eagles are the least good team in the NFL right now. Yes, that is in spite a vivid sense of deja vu overcoming me in regards to the Eagles. Remember how I continuously kept the Eagles in the bottom three or four teams amidst all the playoff teams? Remember how we continuously picked against the Eagles in every single playoff game even as they won it all? Well, here's the thing; the Eagles have demonstrated just how much they miss Frank Reich as Offensive coordinator, as their offense has become incredibly mistake prone through long stretches of the season. Not to mention their defense struggling many times over to close out games, which in turn cost them whatever shot they may have had at repeating as division champions. As a result, they are now the 6th seed, when they had secured homefield advantage throughout the entire playoffs. Does that mean they can't beat the Bears? No. But at some point, one has to recognize that they most likely are not going to be repeating as Super Bowl champions this time around. How ironic, yet eerily familiar here, indeed. 11. Houston Texans (11-5): Yet another team that now I suddenly feel does not stand that great a chance at actually making it to the Super Bowl. Keep in mind that following a dreadful 0-3 start on the season, the Texans had won 9 straight, only to close out the season going 2-2. And mind you, both of these losses came against playoff-caliber teams. This basically means that even if, say, the Texans make it past the Colts, I doubt they'd stand much a chance against the Patriots, much less the Chiefs or Chargers. Maybe the Ravens, but considering that no rookie quarterback has ever played in a Super Bowl, that's pretty much the only pointer I can afford the Texans; that as they are now, they probably do not stand much chance at getting to the Super Bowl, and even if they did, they'd lose to whoever the NFC team happens to be--yes, I'm even including the Philadelphia Eagles, here, but who knows. And it's all based on the fact that the Texans simply haven't looked very good as of late, which in turn leads me to believe that the Texans will not make it far, if anywhere past the Wild Card round at all. 10. Indianapolis Colts (10-6): Long story short; they beat the Texans in the opening round in the playoff. And then they have to go to Kansas City. Just let that sink in. Even if the Chiefs do the unthinkable and win a home playoff game (or maybe it's not a huge stretch given the fact that the Chiefs are an outright better team than the Colts), they still have to play an outdoor conference championship game. In other words, their season is almost certainly going to end short of a trip to the Super Bowl. 9. Dallas Cowboys (10-6): Honestly, I think the best shot the Cowboys have at making the Super Bowl is if the Eagles beat the Bears; then the Cowboys beat the Seahawks at home; travel to LA and beat the Rams, and then travel to New Orleans to beat the Saints (who they did manage to defeat earlier this year); or host the Eagles and beat them at home. So a pathway to the Super Bowl for a dome team that most likely will have to travel a bit in the playoffs will likely have the opportunity to at least play in the NFC Championship game inside a dome. But only if the Eagles upset the Bears. Otherwise, they're SOL. Of course, that's without taking into account that they still need to survive the Seattle Seahawks--a team that has never lost a playoff opener behind coach Pete Carol or QB Russell Wilson. Let's see how they do. 8. Baltimore Ravens (10-6): I'm ranking the Ravens right here because while I do think the Ravens are talented enough to make it far, the fact of the matter is, there are two things working against rookie quarterbacks in the playoffs; none have ever made it to the Super Bowl; and none have ever won in Foxborough during the Brady/Belichick era. In other words, the Ravens pretty much have two road blocks in the Chiefs and Patriots on the road, and one at home against the Colts (though considering that no dome team has ever won an outdoor conference championship game, I wonder which precedent would break should the two teams meet). 7. Seattle Seahawks (10-6): While the Seahawks are a significantly better team at home than they are on the road, they are going to be a much more formidable force than most other NFL teams up to this point in time. They have also been known for having New Orleans' number as of late. Though chances are, the Seahawks probably are not going to match up well against the Bears or Rams. Still, their Super Bowl chances are not the most improbable; they do match up pretty well against most of the frontrunners in the AFC. 6. New England Patriots (11-5): Aside from obliterating the Jets and Bills at home--which, let's face it; isn't that big an accomplishment--they've been looking really sloppy lately, and I don't care how badly they've beaten the Bills or Jets; Brady has not been himself lately. And really, all it takes is a team that knows how to play defensively against this Patriots squad, and then unleash points at will to end their run at a third straight Super Bowl appearance. The Ravens' defense can definitely match up well against Brady; I just don't trust Lamar Jackson on the road against a Patriots squad that has never lost at home against a rookie quarterback in the Brady/Belichick era. And no dome team has ever won a conference championship game outside in the history of the NFL, so that rules out the Colts as well. But when you get right down to it, I just don't think the Patriots have what it takes to beat the Chargers or Chiefs in the playoffs. The only reason I am ranking them this high? Because they're the New England Patriots, and they have the first round bye. And if the Chiefs end up suffering a one-and-done in the playoffs, chances are, you're going to be seeing the Patriots making it back to YET another Super Bowl regardless. But outside of maybe the Rams, I don't see the Patriots beating anybody in the Super Bowl. They're just too old. 5. Los Angeles Chargers (12-4): Here is where we get to the true Super Bowl contenders. Though the Chargers rank the lowest of all of them due to how bloody mistake-prone they tend to be. It's just not an outright reliable choice to lean so heavily on the Chargers to win the Super Bowl. Though if they do get there, they have every possible opportunity to actually compete with the hope of actually winning one. They are probably the one AFC team that matches up well against each of the NFC juggernauts. If only they can get past the Patriots, however. And I suppose by extension, the Chiefs as well. 4. Kansas City Chiefs (12-4): Mahomes is for sure the League MVP now that he has entered the oh-so-prestigious 50-TD club alongside Brady and Manning (although he failed to break the record, but I digress). The Chiefs have digressed significantly since the Kareem Hunt incident though, but if they can continue to score at will, there's very little reason not to think the Chiefs can't make it. Their biggest threat are the Patriots (because Patriots) and Chargers, both teams having beaten them earlier in the season. With that said, I don't like their chances at winning the Super Bowl unless they get some sort of Cinderella story in there (like the Cowboys or Eagles). 3. LA Rams (13-3): The Rams have an explosive offense that hasn't been all that productive lately (except in resounding victories over the lowly Chargers and 49ers to close out their season). Part of the reason has to do with Todd Gurley being hurt. But they have since signed CJ Anderson to fill in for Todd Gurley and to inevitably serve as a one-two punch at running back once the latter gets healthy. As for defense, aside from Aaron Donald (who, btw, is nothing short of absolutely incredible), there really isn't much to say. They could make a run at the Super Bowl, but only if everything clicks on all cylinders. 2. Chicago Bears (12-4): The best defense in the NFL, mixed with a young offense. I can definitely see this team making a deep run for the Super Bowl, and possibly even being crowned Super Bowl champions as well. Although I do not consider Mitch Trubisky to be an elite quarterback, he is fine at what he does. Definitely can extend plays, and has his moments of greatness. At least he's not Rex Grossman. 1. New Orleans Saints (13-3): Something worth noting is just how many of these top tier teams have been struggling quite a bit over the last month. The top 3 seeded teams in each conference and the LA Chargers have each been plagued with mistakes, and some lackluster offensive play. And yet Seeds 4-6 have all lost just one game, if even that, in the month of December. At least with the Saints going 2-2 to close out their season, their final game was a meaningless season finale that they blew big time. Similar too to the Patriots, one could perhaps contribute some of the struggles of Drew Brees to his age--he's soon to turn 40, so the Saints, if they are to make another run for the Super Bowl, absolutely must win right here and now. As such, they are not the biggest lock to get there. But they do have the best shot at making it to the Super Bowl out of everybody at this point and time. Maybe after the NFL season comes to a close, I'll update the Power Rankings to better reflect their overall skillsets, coach and culture, warts and all, for all 32 teams in the NFL. As an overall evaluation of how well each team did (their records will be taken into consideration, though they won't tell the whole story). Good night, everybody!
  11. And here's how the Playoff bracket is looking like: AFC: 1. Kansas City Chiefs (12-4) 2. New England Patriots (11-5) 3. Houston Texans (11-5) 4. Baltimore Ravens (10-6) 5. Los Angeles Chargers (12-4) 6. Indianapolis Colts (10-6) NFC: 1. New Orleans Saints (13-3) 2. Los Angeles Rams (13-3) 3. Chicago Bears (12-4) 4. Dallas Cowboys (10-6) 5. Seattle Seahawks (10-6) 6. Philadelphia Eagles (9-7) See ya all soon when we enter the Playoffs! Who will win the Super Bowl? We are heading into the Endgame now! Should have gone for the head!
  12. Since I plan on sleeping in and hopefully taking good care of my little illness (at least it wasn't post Christmas 2016...), I'm going to make my picks right here and now: Miami Dolphins @ Buffalo Bills: Last time these two teams played one another, the Bills outright annihilated the Dolphins in Miami. Now it's December, and they're playing in Buffalo. I personally think that the one thing that might motivate the Dolphins to play the Bills tough enough to get back into 8-8 is simply to avoid another losing season, and to at least make Adam Gase's job security look better and better. Do I like their chances? Not really. I don't like this game, but I am leaning more towards Buffalo in this one. Detroit Lions @ Green Bay Packers: Aside from a home game against a Panthers squad that, little did we know it at the time, was heading towards a steep collapse, the Lions have been absolutely miserable since trading away Golden Tate--by far their best receiver on that team. Aaron Rodgers wants to play out the rest of the season with the hope of carrying some much-needed offensive momentum going forward. And since it's a home game, I'm going to go with the Packers for a big win. One of my locks this week. New York Jets @ New England Patriots: Maybe the Patriots are at that point where they are now officially falling apart now that all of their best players this decade are getting old as dirt. Brady and Gronk especially have been looking well past their prime as of late. Though until I see otherwise, I have no reason to pick against the Patriots at home, especially with a first round bye--and perhaps even home field advantage if they're lucky (or if the NFL is indeed rigged in their favor; watch out for Ref Ball). Though not as solid a lock as the Packers (as Sam Darnold and the Jets have been playing surprisingly well on offense as of late), I am pretty confident in them still. 2 Seed at the very least. Carolina Panthers @ New Orleans Saints: In a vacuum, this game is a lock, for Cam Newton is officially done for the year after their playoff hopes all but disappeared a couple weeks ago. Their backup quarterback is also lost for the year. But the Saints no longer have anything to play for. But there is a catch; the Saints probably want to give backup Teddy Bridgewater a shot to start a game for the first time since Blair Walsh kicked wide left on a potential game-winning gimme. We don't really know how many starters will be playing, though from what I've gathered, Drew Brees is definitely taking the week off. I do like Bridgewater, and I do hope for the best for him. So I'm going to see the Saints beating the Panthers on a meaningless final game that is all the more meaningful for a once top quarterback draft pick. Not a lock though because of these circumstances. Dallas Cowboys @ New York Giants: Yet another game where one team has literally nothing left to play for. Though it is not a lock for the Giants because I have heard word that Ezekiel Elliot wants to beat Saquon Barkley for the Rushing Title this season--now that Todd Gurley is hurt, Kareem Hunt is on the exempt list, and Philip Lindsey is on IR. But in the month of December, I just prefer the home team, especially if they are a cold weather team playing a dome team that will likely be resting most of their starters. I'm going with the Giants. Though if they do announce that they will be plugging in their starters, watch out (but since it's Jason Garret as their head coach, I have a hunch that even Zeke will be missing some snaps). Atlanta Falcons @ Tampa Bay Buccaneers: Yuk! Two explosive offenses with major deficiencies and next to no defense playing a meaningless (other than pride) game against one another. So you know what? I'm going to throw a bone in favor of the Falcons. Why? Well, between my two biggest competitors--Knobbe and gojiphen malor--might as well throw one a bone and do the same to the other later on the list. This time, I'm going with Knobbe on this one. That and I do prefer Matt Ryan to Jameis Winston. Jacksonville Jaguars @ Houston Texans: Really, the fact that the Texans haven't been looking too hot ever since their 8-game losing streak got snapped does seem like the Texans have regressed significantly. Now, unless the Patriots somehow lose at home to the Jets, the Texans have basically lost their shot at a first round bye. And they may even lose their shot to potentially win their division. Especially since the Jaguars match up well against the Texans, if only their offense can get things going. But all things considered, I still have to give the Texans the edge, here. Los Angeles Chargers @ Denver Broncos: The Chargers are my next lock to win this weekend, and pretty much my only lock of the week to do so on the road. Why? Because Phillip Lindsey, Emmanuel Sanders, and Chris Harris Jr. are all lost for the year, and Vance Joseph is a hack of a head coach. And before anybody calls me racist, do note that at least Anthony Lynn has led the Chargers to back-to-back winning seasons, and made them one of the best teams since starting the previous season 0-4. And with a shot to potentially clinch homefield advantage throughout the playoffs, of course I'll pick the Chargers to win on the road against a team that couldn't even handle a much maligned Oakland Raiders unit. Even if they do fall to the 5 Seed anyways, they are likely going to be a much more dangerous team having to travel on the road to the Super Bowl than they would be at home following a bye (worth noting too that aside from the Rams, the Chargers have not lost a single road game all season long). Oakland Raiders @ Kansas City Chiefs: Speaking of teams competing for homefield advantage, even though Kareem Hunt's expulsion from the team has basically sent this team on a downward trajectory, with their only win coming off of a miracle against the Ravens since then; but at least back then, their two losses and barely a win all came against really good football teams. I'm picking the Chiefs as lock number 4. San Francisco 49ers @ Los Angeles Rams: The Rams, likewise, have been rather sluggish ever since Todd Gurley got hurt. Though last week on the road, they were able to acquire former Bronco/Panther CJ Anderson, and they seemed to have reestablished their running attack since. At home, and with a shot at a first round bye on the line, I definitely have to go with the Rams in this one. Lock number 5. Chicago Bears @ Minnesota Vikings: There's a couple reasons why I think the Bears are going to win; first up, is the shot at a possible first round bye in case the Rams can't shake the Todd Gurley injury. Second, to possibly eliminate the Vikings from playoff contention. Now, if the Bears are struggling, they might remove their foot from the gas and let the Vikings win (especially if the Seahawks and Rams both win, and the Eagles end up losing anyways). But considering just how much the Bears match up well against the Vikings, and that they would want to enter the playoffs red hot anyways, I would like to give the Bears a bit of credit. Cincinnati Bengals @ Pittsburgh Steelers: Lock number 6. The Bungles are a complete mess ravaged with injuries across the board. And the Steelers are desperate for some help just to make the playoffs. As such, they still need to do their part in order to win. Arizona Cardinals @ Seattle Seahawks: Not only is this my 7th and final Lock on the week, it's also my Survival Pick. The Seahawks, contrary to popular belief, are not locked in to their seeding (if they lose, then the Vikings can leapfrog the Seahawks in the seeding order). My thought process is that the Seahawks would much rather play the Cowboys in Dallas in the Wild Card round than the Bears or Rams. On top of that, the Cardinals have nothing left to play for, and their offense is well past their prime. Even though the Cardinals have been known to have the Seahawks' number in Seattle, that was back when Carson Palmer and Drew Stanton were their quarterbacks, and Bruce Arians was still their head coach. They are all gone, and the pieces that still remain are in desperate need to retire at this point. As such, definitely think the Seahawks are going to win and will in turn lock up the number 5 seed. Philadelphia Eagles @ Washington Redskins: Now for something interesting. While the Vikings would likely match up better with the Bears than the Vikings, I just have this inkling that the Eagles will make it back to the playoffs as the 6th and final seed. Though considering the fact that the Redskins' defense is still formidable (even with Alex Smith lost for the season, and Adrien Peterson showing his age), it isn't really a given. So take it with a grain of salt here that a loss would automatically grant the Vikings a playoff berth by default. But in the end, I just can't bring myself to pick against the Eagles. Cleveland Browns @ Baltimore Ravens: Strangely enough, there's a ton of people in this group picking the Browns to win. I suppose it has something to do with Baker Mayfield elevating the Browns, and the fact that the Browns also have a lethal defense to boot. My initial thought was that the Ravens are going to take care of business this time and end their playoff drought. Especially since a loss here may cost John Harbaugh his job. But you know what? A lot of people seem to like the Browns here. Let's see what they're having. Especially since it best counteracts what I said about the Falcons @ Bucs game. Favoring gojiphen malor this time. Indianapolis Colts @ Tennessee Titans: The big one. Ever since starting the season a miserable 1-5, the Colts had suddenly became the most dominant team in the NFL since then, with only a hiccup in Jacksonville as their only blemish. Does Andrew Luck's Comeback Player of the Year campaign reach its conclusion in the playoffs? I'm going to assume so. Going with the Colts here. Okay, gonna put our picks in, and then I'm going to bed. Good night, everybody!
  13. Miami Dolphins @ Buffalo Bills Detroit Lions @ Green Bay Packers New York Jets @ New England Patriots Carolina Panthers @ New Orleans Saints Dallas Cowboys @ New York Giants Atlanta Falcons @ Tampa Bay Buccaneers Jacksonville Jaguars @ Houston Texans Los Angeles Chargers @ Denver Broncos Oakland Raiders @ Kansas City Chiefs San Francisco 49ers @ Los Angeles Rams Chicago Bears @ Minnesota Vikings Cincinnati Bengals @ Pittsburgh Steelers Arizona Cardinals @ Seattle Seahawks Philadelphia Eagles @ Washington Redskins Cleveland Browns @ Baltimore Ravens Indianapolis Colts @ Tennessee Titans @Mike Gordan: BUF, GB, NE, NO, NYG, ATL, HOU, LAC, KC, LAR, CHI, PIT, SEA, PHI, CLE, IND @TecmoSuperFan: MIA, GB, NE, NO, DAL, TB, HOU, LAC, KC, LAR, CHI, PIT, SEA, PHI, CLE, IND @gojiphen malor: BUF, GB, NE, NO, DAL, TB, HOU, LAC, KC, LAR, CHI, PIT, SEA, PHI, CLE, IND @Knobbe: BUF, GB, NE, NO, NYG, ATL, HOU, LAC, KC, LAR, MIN, PIT, SEA, PHI, BAL, IND @BigCat71: BUF, GB, NE, NO, NYG, ATL, HOU, LAC, KC, LAR, CHI, PIT, SEA, PHI, BAL, IND @Miles Prower: MIA, GB, NE, NO, DAL, ATL, HOU, LAC, KC, LAR, CHI, CIN, SEA, PHI, CLE, TEN @drummer4god: BUF, GB, NE, NO, DAL, ATL, HOU, LAC, KC, LAR, MIN, PIT, SEA, PHI, CLE, TEN 1st: Mike Gordan: 0-0 (159-81) 2nd: Knobbe: 0-0 (151-89) 3rd: gojiphen malor: 0-0 (150-90) 4th: BigCat71: 0-0 (148-92) 5th: drummer4god: 0-0 (140-100) 6th: Miles Prower: 0-0 (137-103) 7th: TecmoSuperFan: 0-0 (135-105) As some teams are bound to be resting their starters, I'm going to hold off on making my selections right away. As for my locks in the meantime, I'm going with the Packers, Patriots, Chargers, Chiefs, Rams, Steelers, and Seahawks. With my Survival Pick of the Week being the Seahawks (they may be locked into the Wild Card, but there's no way to convince me that they wouldn't rather play the Cowboys in the Wild Card Round than the Bears or Rams).
  14. Merry Christmas, everybody! Merry Christmas Merry Christmas Merry Christmas Kiss my ass Kiss his ass Kiss your ass Happy Hanukkah!
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