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Mike Gordan

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Mike Gordan last won the day on December 12 2018

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About Mike Gordan

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  1. Good question. Andy Dalton is probably second behind Stafford in that regard, and with much better teams and culture behind him to boot. The only starting quarterbacks who have been around longer than Stafford are Brady, Brees, Rivers, Roethlisberger, Eli, and Rodgers, and aside from the utterly snake-bitten Rivers, they've all won Super Bowls (and even then, Rivers at least has consistently made it past the Wild Card Round). Even Joe Flacco and Matt Ryan--who were drafted the year prior--had both reached the Super Bowl at some point in time in their careers. So in that respect, no other quarterback in the NFL has been around as long as Stafford yet has had so little to show for it. What held Andy Dalton back was the fact that Marvin Lewis was simply a lousy post-season head coach with virtually no control over his players. What's held Stafford back, however, is the simple fact that the Ford family have no idea how to run a football team--nor do they care to learn--and as a result, has never had a stable football team or culture around him. Does he have a good offensive line? A good defense? Running game? How about receivers aside from Calvin Johnson (who made like Bernie Sanders and retired in his prime)? How about defense? Come to think of it, 2014 was pretty much the Lions' pinnacle behind Stafford since they sported the second best ranked defense behind the Seahawks that year, they had Calvin Johnson, and they had all the pieces lined up for Super Bowl contention if only they had beaten Green Bay the final week. The way things are going, Stafford is probably the single greatest quarterback to have never made it past the Wild Card, much less had a team ranked higher than the 6th seed.
  2. It seems Brees has officially hit the wall.
  3. So I'm home early from college due to a snowstorm. Only got to attend my first class while my second class was cancelled. Probably should have stayed home all the same, but hey? At least discussions on William Shakespeare are always enlightening, especially as far as my own literary ambitions are concerned. With that said, says a lot that Vic Mangio continues to make Vance Joseph look like Bill Belichick by comparison. How can we be this bad!? Well, the preseason performance pretty much colored in just how bad we were going to become, especially since he never played any of his starters. How many perfectly winnable games had the guy blown in the final two minutes of regulation? The Bears, Jaguars, and now Colts. Anybody else? If nothing else, the Broncos are just barely better than the one-win teams, and are probably not that much better than the Bungles or Lolphins. Oh, who am I kidding? The Lolphins are a completely dysfunctional dumpster fire, and yet I still predict this team will find a way to win a game. Edit: Not going to bother with a power rankings yet. Instead, here are my tier lists for the season so far (in alphabetical order): Super Bowl Contenders: Green Bay Packers, New England Patriots, New Orleans Saints, San Francisco 49ers Playoff Contenders: Baltimore Ravens, Buffalo Bills, Houston Texans, Indianapolis Colts, Kansas City Chiefs, Minnesota Vikings, Seattle Seahawks Dark Horses: Carolina Panthers, Chicago Bears, Dallas Cowboys, Detroit Lions, Jacksonville Jaguars, Los Angeles Rams, Oakland Raiders, Philadelphia Eagles, Tennessee Titans Longshots: Arizona Cardinals, Cleveland Browns, Denver Broncos, Los Angeles Chargers, New York Giants, Pittsburgh Steelers, Tampa Bay Buccaneers No Chance: Atlanta Falcons, Cincinnati Bengals, New York Jets, Washington Redskins Charlie Brown Award: Miami Dolphins Before anybody asks me, the reason the Patriots are the only AFC team in the Super Bowl Contenders tier is simply because I'll believe an AFC team not named the Patriots will be a Super Bowl contender when somebody over there finally beats them in the playoffs (at least a large bulk of the NFC still has a fighting chance at actually getting there).
  4. Bold words given how stacked the NFC West is, and the Cardinals started the season off 0-3-1. Since the Broncos and Chargers are both hot garbage this season, hope you're right.
  5. If the season were to end today, this would be the playoff bracket: AFC: 1. New England Patriots (6-0) 2. Houston Texans (4-2): 3-0 conference over Chiefs and Ravens 3. Kansas City Chiefs (4-2): Head-to-head over Ravens 4. Baltimore Ravens (4-2) 5. Buffalo Bills (4-1) 6. Oakland Raiders (3-2): Head-to-head over Colts NFC: 1. San Francisco 49ers (5-0) 2. New Orleans Saints (5-1): Swap ranks with Packers with win tonight (lose conference tie-breaker at 3-1) 3. Green Bay Packers (4-1): Swap ranks with Saints with win tonight (4-1 conference tie-breaker) 4. Dallas Cowboys (3-3): 2-0 divisional over Philadelphia Eagles 5. Seattle Seahawks (5-1) 6. Minnesota Vikings (4-2): 3-2 conference over Carolina Panthers MVP candidates thus far look to be Deshaun Watson, Jimmy Garoppolo, and Russel Wilson, with Lamar Jackson, Josh Allen, and Aaron Rodgers as dark horse candidates. Coach of the Year is a competition looks to be between the top seeded Bill Belichick and Kyle Shanahan, though look for Sean Payton and Frank Reich to each play spoiler as well. Super Bowl Contenders: New England Patriots vs. San Francisco 49ers, New Orleans Saints, Green Bay Packers, or Seattle Seahawks--all looking to be NFL's ideal narratives. Dark Horse contenders are the Cowboys, Eagles, Vikings, and Panthers vs. literally anybody with 4 wins in the AFC (since their chances are virtually 0% of actually getting there). And there are two winless teams left in the NFL--Miami Dolphins and the Bungles.
  6. It also only exists when Eli Manning and Tom Brady are both the starting QB's. Otherwise, Brady's an even 3-3 all-time against the Giants. Interestingly enough, this also means that Eli Manning will remain one of the few QB's ever to secure an all-time winning record against Brady as a starter.
  7. AB's retired. Or to put it more bluntly, rage quitted.
  8. So Antonio Brown decided out of spite to retire from the NFL. Yeah, that will show 'em for cutting him in the middle of another bit of heresy! Oh, wait! You decided to dox your second accuser's kids and sick your religious followers to harass her? And that isn't even a bit of heresy like the accusations all happen to be; anybody can actually look into it! Well, so much for innocent until proven guilty; even if you were falsely accused, nobody's going to believe you, AB. And to think that you were a generational talent on his way to the Hall of Fame one day, and you decided to destroy your own legacy this way! Even if you are pronounced not guilty, nobody's going to be backing you up aside from that very expensive lawyer you're inevitably are going to need. Good luck retiring with any semblance of luxury after those legal bills reduce you to the red. God, I hope you're not a family man.
  9. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=84-Ki4Po6c4 Time for AB and the NFL to get a new lawyer.
  10. So, the media raises holy hell every time a team needs a QB and they don't hire Colin Kaepernick, and yet that same media will lead the angry mob to force the NFL/NFL team into cutting a player over an accusation and deny him due process. Now, all that it takes to sabotage, say, the New England Patriots is for somebody to decide to accuse Tom Brady of running a rape train, and he'll be barred from the NFL and his legacy would be utterly destroyed. I may be sick and tired of the New England Patriots and cannot wait until their dynasty finally ends, but I rather it not end that way over what could possibly be false and malicious accusations. It should be innocent until proven guilty; not guilty based on the charges. Antonio Brown may be a scumbag, but this fiasco could potentially unravel far more than the Patriot organization--in fact, they could very easily end up winning a Super Bowl anyways. Now, whenever somebody wants to sabotage a team because they're a Super Bowl contender, all they have to do is file an accusation--usually with a woman with a history with said player--and suddenly, they must be released/suspended indefinitely. And it's not the same thing as video evidence that proved something beyond a shadow of a doubt--like with Ray Rice back in 2016. People archive tweets all the time, and comments on the internet all the time. And if there aren't any archived tweets concerning proving Antonio Brown did what he did, then it's like the accusation never happened. It didn't even happen that long ago, so it's not like people who hate Antonio Brown didn't have the time to archive his unsavory behaviors. Proof, or it might as well never happened. No, wait! The women accusing Antonio Brown have heresy and conjecture; those are "kinds of evidence."
  11. Place your bets--how much you wanna bet that the recent slate of injuries to both Big Ben and Drew Brees will foreshadow their inevitable retirements following the 2019 season? Okay, here's my new playoff bracket: AFC East: New England Patriots unless Tom Brady starts falling apart in week's 3 or 4, and the Buffalo Bills become this season's version of the 2015 Carolina Panthers. Considering that the start to their schedule has been nothing short of piss easy, I have a hard time believing that even if Brady never played a down of football for the rest of his life and suffers the mother of all injuries next week, the Patriots will somehow find a way to reach the Super Bowl with...insert disposable quarterback here. And here's an added bonus: If Andrew Luck does have second thoughts about retirement and decides to try and rejoin the league, look out for the Patriots to jump all over him at a bargain bin price, and make way to be Brady's replacement. Then enjoy another five years or so of Patriot dominance. AFC North: With the Steeler losing Big Ben for the season--and possibly for good--it's basically going to be a dog-fight between the Browns and Ravens for AFC North supremacy. Meaning we can finally see a fruitful rivalry between two ball clubs with an entangled and bitter history, yet nothing of any interest to show for it since the Browns' reinstatement into the league. The Ravens look to win the AFC North for consecutive seasons for the first time since 2011-2012, though the Browns look to escape from the basement and finally crack the playoff spot. If I have to take a guess, I'd say the Ravens will win the AFC North. But, having said all that, if the Browns can upset the Rams and then take Baltimore the week after, things could potentially be on the up-and-up for Cleveland at last. AFC South: The Colts were easily the heavy favorites to win the division if not compete for a Super Bowl until QB Andrew Luck decided to retire during the preseason. If not for the fact that the entire division is now a dumpster fire thanks to each team looking to compete to see which culture is the shittiest of them all, the Colts would be joining the likes of Miami and the Giants for possible worst team in the entire NFL. Texans have no offensive lines, and they dealt away one of their best defensive players in Jadaeveon Clowney. Jaguars QB Nick Foles is hurt, while Jalen Ramsey wants to be traded elsewhere. And the Titans are the epitome of mediocrity with an injury-prone and average-at-best QB Marcus Mariota. Who do I pick? Honestly, unless they get hit hard by the injury bug like in 2017, I'm going to have to pick the Texans to win the AFC South yet again. Probably going to win it at 9-7 knowing who we're dealing with when it comes to coach Bill O'Brien. AFC West: Considering just how past their prime the Chargers are, the Raiders are still rebuilding, and the Broncos are a steaming pile of dogshit who thinks that the easiest fix for an inept offense is a defensive head coach, it pretty much goes without saying that the Chiefs will once again be heavily favored to win the entire division, if not the entire conference yet again. But if Patrick Mahomes gets hurt, then the doors are open for the Chargers. NFC East: It's quite shocking how the Dallas Cowboys appears to be the most stable organization in the entire division right about now. The Eagles are a close second; QB Carson Wentz just can't stay healthy. And obviously, nobody's picking the Giants or Redskins to win anything other than a contest of who can lose the most games. Right now, the team to beat has to be the Cowboys. NFC North: While the Bears defense is definitely an elite unit still, it's offense is what holds them back (at least they now have a kicker). The Lions are not going to be terrible, but considering how the locker room doesn't seem to view coach Matt Patricia to be all that credible (probably because he is driving around in a cart and having the guys do all the heavy lifting instead of getting down and dirty with the rest of them), and the team under Matthew Stafford has yet to finish in a Seed higher than 6. That pretty much leaves us with the Vikings with their questionable offensive line versus the Packers and the primidone elite QB Aaron Rodgers. And honestly, as much of a drama queen as he is, I'd still go with Rodgers to take back the NFC North from their hated rivals. NFC South: As I predicted earlier on, the division overall is going to absolutely kill each other. And there you have it; Drew Brees is showing medical signs that point towards this being the beginning of the end for him, and Cam Newton is getting massacred by an offensive line that might as well not show up at all. Now both elite QB's are out due to injuries, and it's doubtful either team can keep this up. This pretty much leaves us with the Falcons and Bucs--neither team having any sort of a defense, and both QB's being question marks when it comes to talent. Either way, I'm probably am going to pick the Falcons again, but it wouldn't surprise me anymore if the Bucs somehow rise through the ashes. NFC West: Every team in this division save the dumpster fire Cardinals has some stake at actually winning the division. The 49ers have a piss-easy schedule while QB Jimmy Garoppolo looks to be a premiere QB going forward; the Seahawks, while still rebuilding and having no offensive line to speak of, still has the best culture in the entire conference (as well as the best QB in Russell Wilson); and while the Rams are showing signs of Super Bowl fatigue, still have all the major pieces except Todd Gurley to make at least one more shot at a Super Bowl run. A tough one to nail down, but in all seriousness, I'd probably have to go with the 49ers. I'm picking the 49ers to win the conference only to be bounced in the first round of the playoffs by the number 5 seed. And so, I think it's safe to say that there are about 20 serious playoff contenders right now, and four of them make up the entire AFC South. The rest of the playoff contenders would have to be Atlanta, Baltimore, Buffalo, Chicago, Cleveland, Dallas, Green Bay, Kansas City, LA Chargers, LA Rams, Minnesota, New England, Philadelphia Eagles, San Francisco, Seattle, and Tampa Bay. And to be fair, if I were to do a Power Rankings, those sixteen teams would all make up the upper-half of my list with only the Detroit Lions and Houston Texans being ranked number's 17 and 18.
  12. I'd reserve my judgment. Yes, Antonio is a shithead, but considering how rape accusations are so bloody commonplace, to the point that the false accusations tend to drown out the real accusations, one shouldn't be in any rush to call a man the devil. Though to her credit, at least she only waited about a year or two before accusing him. And if the evidence proves damning--and I don't mean heresy and conjecture on written statements, but actual visual proof--and speaks for itself...I can't think of a way to finish that sentence.
  13. Just to let you guys know, I'm going to be busy for a while now. I'm taking some classes; working a full-time job; and writing my book as we speak. So I won't be able to do anymore power rankings, make weekly pick 'ems, or keep track of the NFL as a whole. At least for this season. I'll keep track from time to time. But if anybody wants to do Weekly Pick 'ems, feel free to start one. Wish me luck.
  14. The Glue Factory claims another one of their own. The Football gods show no mercy. Amen.
  15. Andrew Luck retires. And boy does that make my recent Power Rankings feel dated immediately. Pretty much this year's equivalent to the Khalil Mack trade. A damn shame. Cue the UrinatingTree Colts video.
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