OL' Dirty Tecmo

I'm still planning on making the trip. Just not sure if I've earned enough good husband tokens to cash in yet.

This is under 2 hours for me. I'm gonna definitely try to be there. I'll let you know.

Who wouldn't call this matchup? This matchup is the reason that Madison has the "One Matchup" rule. No. It didn't.

There was a cartridge glitch and Johnny Johnson did not have any hidden attributes. TBK was robbed. I think the call against him was SF/PHX. Naturally, you always choose PHX. Who would've known that the "Regular Johnny Johnson Attributes" glitch would've kicked in? What a shame...

Must have been a defective cartridge.

Thanks Rico! Fun as always. I look forward to next time. Never giving you Bo again... =) Way to run the shit out of the ball man!

Great read mybrutha! You are NOT missing The Plaza post XI.

Absolutely not. Stick it to em'. I'm as kind-hearted and sportsman as they come in game. But in Madison, all bets are off man. #orengaposse Point diff is tough to come by. I would have taken Houston and laughed about it. The x-factor is available to anyone serious about Tecmo.

I went through a similar run several weeks back. Not sure the cause but it's pretty frustrating. I didn't score for like 4 games.

A certain somebody needs to put this up as his avatar.

63 for LB and DB I'd say 75 For DL Bo defenders above 88 I'm pretty sure.

Seriously guys. I'm still sittin here at Perkins. Where the f@&$ is my food? Manyo did you EVER get your pancakes?

Dave. You sir are the greatest [insert anything] I've ever [insert anything]. FUCKING SERIOUSLY! zippitybeebopglurpglurp #davehugs

Chet, thanks for reading. You guys really know how to throw a party. Post Madison Depression is a "thing." It's mind boggling. Long live Tecmo. If us out of towners can ever help in the process do not hesitate to reach out. The consequences of a year without Madison could be clinically serious. I look forwarding to seeing you all again soon and thanks for throwing undoubtedly one of the best weekends of my year.

Great read TP!!!

I did not. I was holding #louis up I think.

You guys not at the plaza left a gaping hole similar to the one some crazy bunny left on some ninja.

I hope Travis' headstone reads. MOULDS "Not a Black Man."

Thanks Sega. I should've worked a portion with you in there, but you were entirely too grown up, gracious, and mature to be mentioned with most of that idiocy. It's awesome to know you and thanks for the good conversations at BB.

I forgot to mention that Nate B. from Columbus (coincidentally) is my Birthday brother. I was born 7 hours before him and it was like when Joey (from Friends) found his hand twin. It was pretty awesome.

Knobbe, I'm sorry if this post needs to be edited to be appropriate for Tecmobowl.org. But this is what live Tecmo looks like to me. Let me know if ESPN.com calls. "In that moment, at a live tournament, when you've just achieved Tecmo immortality. And there's a hundred people over your shoulder screaming, and cheering you on. You're like a God. At home, while online, in that exact same moment. Your wife is usually just pissed, and rolling her eyes." I'm going to make this recap very personal and very real, and very long. I will try to keep it interesting. What happened at TecmoX will be impossible to re-create for many reasons. Many first time competitors we may never see again, and if we do, it's unlikely we'll see them all at the same time. When will we again get Bruddog, Gats, Kamp, Manyo, and so many others all together at the same time? Looking at that awesome picture will live forever in infamy one clear regret does come to mind. Where the fuck is our champion? All I can assume is that the Tecmo mystique had something to do with this. Perhaps, in avoiding this pic, he avoided the Gods attempt to reap his Tecmo soul. Or maybe he was just falling out of a chair, splashing water on his face, or getting some last minute advice from Mr. Tecmosuperbowl. Whatever the reason. I'm sad Kyle is missing. He is clearly, playing Tecmo in a different picture from the rest of us. OK - So travel. Friday 3/7/14 I leave for Columbus to meet Ryan11p, Tecmo Ninja, and Kevin C at 8am. For Kevin and I this is our 2nd Madison. Ryan and Ninja's first. Mrs. Ninja had a schedule hiccup so Mr. Ninja was over an hour late. Very un-ninja like. But I appreciated the early material for later abuse during our adventure. Kevin C. and I snuck in a couple matchups and I was able to test out Miami/Raiders. This proved very valuable as I ultimately used this matchup to limp my way into the Sweet 16. Thanks Kevin! We took turns driving Ryan11p's Dodge Nitro while he and Tecmo Ninja argued Tecmosis like an old married couple. We recorded some interviews and continued to talk shop. Arrival at Super 8. I'm mostly excited to meet my online brothafromanothamotha Kamphuna. However, he's getting in late but his roomie Manyo was already posted up in #134 with Gats, Coconuts, Jim Socks, Woodshed, Lou, Mort and several others. Meeting Joey Gats was so freaking cool. He was very quiet, gracious, and extremely polite. We hang for a minute then go to our room #309. Just a couple doors down from the Vogts at #315. We head to Badger Bowl with Gats for early check-in, drinks, games, and bull-shitting. The place looked great just like last year. The people at Badger Bowl are always so cool and accommodating. When I checked in I accidentally tried to check-in under the name Diaz, instead of Swayze. Atmosphere was loose and everyone was having fun meeting each other. I saw Trevor O. from my group last year. We had some laughs about me working him last year and so we played some more. He joked about how bad I own him, which I do. But he made a great run in the tourney. Good player, great guy. Gats played Chet tough. He looked poised for a big following day. I don't remember much else. We head back to Super 8 to get ready to prep. Kamp had text me so I knocked on #134, Kamp answered, and we immediately hugged. It was totally homo. NTTAWWT. Most of the OGP (Online Garbage Players) were having a little trouble with timing kickoffs and FG's. Many kicks were not reaching the endzone and most FG's were sailing North. Good thing OGP's always go for it on 4th down. Hashtag 134. I'm not smart enough to churn out the numbers but the "feelsies" of it is that if you were OGP, Super 8, Midwest, and/or named Matt you were poised for a monster tournament day. I went 8-1 in practice games on Friday night, finally falling to Kamphuna. It was cool to bullshit with everybody but we didn't do our real bonding until business was over the next day. On tournament day I felt okay. A little tired but I scraped together 4 hours of sleep which was plenty. We show up at Badger Bowl and the mood was very different. We were tired but there were definite nerves in the air. The Madison Crew did an amazing job of handling the crowd and making everyone feel welcome. We went over some rules and watched some LT footage. Gotta admit, I was pretty pumped up after watching all the crack-induced LT tackles. At this moment I realized I was the #1 seed in my group 13 and would be playing first. I played Bob Gee (I think) and routed him 42-0 TB over Jets. The #2 in my group James fell early so I was salivating at the idea of getting some great point differential and a nice big bracket seed. But in my second game I called Miami Detroit and won with the Lions only 27-14. In the championship group play game Justin called SD/Rams. I take the RAMS. Everett throws 3 INT's and misses on 3 pretty easy TD passes. This whole game made no sense and this matchup will be expertly practiced before my next tourney. We both chatted later and both knew he shouldn't have beaten me. But he totally beat me and I was legitimately happy for him. I lost 14-24 and have lost in Madison to only people named Justin. I move over to the loser's bracket and Gil calls... SD/Rams. SAME EXACT MATCHUP. I was impressed by the strategy. He claimed to not realize. But wow! Anyway, I took the Rams again. And again I struggled. Luckily, I'm obnoxious on D and I win the game 14-0 to advance and earn myself a 12 seed in the big bracket. I play #5 seed Matt B. (Heechy) in the round of 64. We played at Ohio V group play where I won but I picked the matchup. Here he picks PHX/PIT and we grind it out. This game was stupid. I felt outplayed the whole time but the Steeler D kept bailing me out. I absolutely claw my way to a 3-0 nothing win, and back to back shutouts. I had 77 yards of total pathetic offense. If I remember right my FG was after a fumble and his FG attempt was missed. Me, an OGP makes a FG!!! Looking back on Ohio V that group had Me, Lefty, Rico, and Heechy. No wonder my tournament record leave's much to be desired. Wait... who's Lefty? Round of 32. Guess who? It's Rico. I really like Rico. He's fun to bullshit with but you also know he's there for business. I called Miami/Raiders after testing it with Kevin while waiting for Ninja to ever show up. He complimented the matchup pick. At this stage in the game you can't really believe anything that is said or happens. But he said he's not great with either team and would like to defer. He moves to take P1 then also says he'll take the Raiders. I said that's cool and reminded him that I'd be taking P1, since he didn't really defer. I respected the attempt to take what he could get. But I think he forgot it wasn't group play anymore. Rico takes P2 and Bo Jackson and runs for over 350 yards on me. He played really well and was dominant on offense. I got a gift turnover early which put me ahead and we went back and forth. I score late in the 4th to go up. But with about 90 seconds left Bo breaks free and he's brought down inside the Miami 20. If it were a season game I'm certain he would've broken his hip. Rico's run/pass ratio was 9:1 in this game. I think he took 3 cracks at it and I picked run, run, pass. I believe I contained the first run, picked the second run, then picked pass and played centerfield. I was ready to out tap Bo and was really scared Bo was about to walk in the endzone. Rico also picked pass and was able to cover well enough to break rhythm and bring him down on a scramble to advance 24-17. I sneak by in another and advance to the Sweet 16. Good thing I'm OGP so I knew to pick pass after defending on 27 run plays. I've been outgained in both games. Three Matt's represented the Dom in the Sweet 16. Toolie and Vogt went head to head and I got Chet because of my group play loss to Justin (thanks Justin!). Well, that loss and Chet's win of the wimpy coin toss sealed my fate. He picked Rams/Cincy and I chose Cincy because of my previous struggles with the Rams that day. He skips the kickoff screen (completely legal) and is kicking off to me immediately. From the get go I know I can't move the ball and wished I had L-O-ellard to "Back and B" to. I punt, Rams fumble. Here's where the punt coverage picks up the punt and runs it in for a touchdown, right? Wrong. The lazy Cincy drones and the Rams just kick at it for awhile until it rolls out of bounds. The Chet magic is there and for me to beat him in this matchup, I really would need two, probably three big breaks. They didn't come. Chet very skillfully cut me up while I was primarily Fulcher on D. I showed resistance, but he was methodical and would cut when given the opening. On his other sequences I would occasionally mix in Francis. When the opportunity was there Chet would give Ellard a deep look and it was successful. He added two extra JJ touchdowns perfectly timed. A couple times I had him backed up and he timed Shotgun to Flipper for diving CC's each time. He swiftly knocked me down 21-10. Chet is the total package and it's no surprise he's had so much success. He can tap (almost) like Reg, has the patience of Toolie, the knowledge of Mort, and Orenga-esque timing. Playing him fucking sucks! I'm twice his size and could snap him in half, but I was the one intimidated. It was still very fun! And at least I can say I lost to Chet. At this point I disappeared for awhile and thought about what could've been if I could've selected the matchup. I thought about if I hadn't lost in group play, or if I'd had a better seed, or if I was in a different region. Then I realized I just tied for 9th out of 256 people. So, I called my wife to share the awesome news! And I spent the rest of the time getting pictures and swapping all the dream crushing stories with my Tecmo brethren. Soon, I look up at the big screen for the finals and see that Kyle is at P1 which means he picked the matchup. After a lucky garbage win over Chet's Dolphin matchup he was ready for his first Madison victory. I see Den/SD up on the screen and a sober Regulator. Even with Chet's skill and everything that makes him great this matchup can't work for him. Not against Reg. Ironically, Den/SD seemed to be the matchup of the day. It was surprising to see it still available for Kyle just like Chi/KC was available for Chet against BigMV. Looks like they were all saving them for each other. That's why they're the best. Josh was hilarious at closing ceremony and made mention of a well deserved win for Kyle. It was awesome and Chet was visibly very happy for Kyle. Which is what makes our community so fucking cool and the best there is, period. But then there's the Player's Party... But for me, that doesn't happen for about another two hours. Somewhere along the line Tecmo Ninja picked up a stray, Hankdewild. Hankers was pretty much in the bag... No wait, back that up. Hank was drunktarded and we needed to get him back to his friends house. No way he could drive. So Ninja drives me, Kevin, Ryan, and HanktheTank out near the Oscar Meyer Wiener Factory. I mean, after a day of homophobic innuendo... where the fuck else would we be? The Wiener Factory, I'm crying. We get to Hank's friends house and he's not home. Information, that would've been helpful a half hour previously. Hank apologies, slurs his words and appeared even more drunktarded. I'm frustrated because I want to get to the Player's Party, not watch Hank slip around on some icy driveway by the wiener factory. We take hank to Super 8 where he'll hopefully be picked up quickly. Ninja and Ryan stay back to rest and babysit. Ryan graciously trusts Kevin and I to take his Nitro out on the town. We were of course very cautious of this kind gesture and didn't do anything stupid. Kevin and I leave. The Plaza. Madison Crew: Thanks so much for hosting. You guys are awesome and I hope more than anything I'm back in Wisconsin in March of 2015. #CliftonHanger OGP: You guys are the best you bunch of online garbage pieces of ... well, trash. You have no skill and you're all a bunch assholes. You know who you are. LATE NIGHT PLAZA. The Men have now been separated from the boys. All the men, have responsibly either started traveling home to their families. Or are resting somewhere getting ready for their long journey home tomorrow. Then there are the boys... Me, Kevin C., Manyo, Coconuts, Moulds, Mort, Louis, Knobbe, Bru, Nate B., O'Dell, Toolie, and of course Dave. I'm sorry if I forget someone. #shots All I remember is Manyo and Coco talking shit about approaching some girls. It was awesome! I felt like I was in high school again knowing that they were full of shit and it would never happen. It never happened. HOWEVER, a pretty pretty-girl does walk up to Manyo. It was late. Louis was passed out on the table and we had formed a semi-circle to block his view from the bar. So we wouldn't get kicked out. Louis was pretty hanked out of his mind. We were strategizing how to get Louis back to the Super 8 when this girl tells Manyo that he looks exactly like Blue Luigi. Random gamer reference from stranger #1. I'm fucking crying. We're all fucking crying. Then she looks at his 8-bit Seahawk helmet jersey and says: "What the fuck? Who are you? Why are you a Blue Luigi AND you have a pixilated helmet on your shirt?"(Or something like that.) BAM! Random gamer reference from stranger #2. At this point I intervene and ask her who she is. And how she knows what Blue Luigi and pixilated is? Chicks don't talk like that. Turns out her boyfriend owns an arcade in town. Instantly he appears! Of course, because his GF is talking to a creepy Blue Luigi. It's late AF. Her BF was super cool and was also very Ken Doll-esque. Especially for 2am, or 3am, or whatever was happening. His hair was perfect. It was very Raguse. We talked Tecmo and shared some laughs and I did a good job distracting him while Manyo continued hitting on his girlfriend. Thanks Manyo for wrapping that up so quickly. That wasn't weird at all! Dick. CONSIDERING THAT: 1. THE BOYFRIEND OWNED AN ARCADE 2. WE JUST PLAYED AN 8-BIT VIDEO GAME TOURNAMENT 3. EVERYONE WAS HAMMERED 4. AND MANYO LOOKED LIKE A BLUE LUIGI I WAS CONVINCED WE WERE ABOUT TO FIND OURSELVES IN SOME CRAZY VIDEO GAME CUCKOLD ROLE PLAY INVITE THAT WOULD INVOLVE SOME SORT OF S&M BOWSER, DECKED OUT IN ALL LEATHER. IF VING RHAMES AND LAWRENCE TAYLOR WOULD'VE WALKED IN WE WOULD'VE BEEN GONE. So we left. Kevin and I started to go get the car so we could carry Louis a short distance instead of two blocks. We walk outside and Mort is just waiting like some kind of God. There was a beam of light from the heavens just showering down on his beautiful face. It was amazing. Louis, who hadn't moved in about two hours somehow Jeditexted Mort to pick him up. I don't think it happened. I think that's what Mort told me so I wouldn't figure out that he's actually Jesus Christ. At Tecmo Madison, even Jesus Christ gets knocked out in the round of 64, once in awhile. Mort comes in, I keep my distance from 8-Bit Bukkake, Blue Luigi, and the Cuckolds. Mort yells at Louis which was hilarious. Following, I did imitations of it all night at Perkins. We say our goodbyes and bounce ... Me, Kevin, Coco, and Blue Fucking Luigi. We try to hit Taco Bell but the evil Madison medians keep me from finding an appropriate left. We decide on Perkins along with 150 other people at 3am. We order, nothing happens, I'm still waiting for my fucking food. This was a common theme even at Badger Bowl. I digress. Blue Luigi nearly misses his cab which is going to drive him so he can nearly miss his flight. I'm not sure how a guy who looks like an 8-bit terrorist can even get thru TSA in under 6 hours. AND THAT'S COMING FROM ME!!! We finally leave Perkins and I make mention that if hankthetank is in my bed when we get back to Super 8 that I'll be going to prison for a very long time. Or delivering him to the Bukkake Arcade back near The Plaza. I cling on to a couple hours of sleep and we drive back with Ninja and Ryan. They slept a lot that night during the shenanigans so Ryan was solid and he drove the whole way home. That's my boy!! Ryan and Tecmo Ninja argued Tecmosis like an old married couple almost the whole way back, again. It was very similar to playing Chet. I learned some stuff but mostly was just miserable and wanted it to be over. This community fucking rules. We're friendly, hospitable, charitable, ball-busting, loving, hating, whatever. It's very close to a family. We are dysfunctional and we care about each other we haven't seen in years. Or possibly even met. These people I consider my good friends. Many, I'll be friends with for a very long time. Unless I have to ride in the car with them. Then fuck those guys. =) Seriously, if you are my Tecmo brethren and especially if we shared time at TecmoX. I think you're the tits and thanks for making Tecmo so awesome in all your individual ways. If we missed each other please find me next year. Gats, welcome to the Force. You've now seen the light. Moulds, Kamp, Diaz, Coconuts, Psycho, Manyo, Dotdon, Leonardite's head. TL; DR: Live tournaments and the Tecmo Brotherhood is the shit.

This is such great news. Not just the not homeless part, but especially the family too. Joey, I don't know all the history but good for you, and them. Whatever the circumstance, acceptance, forgiveness... This is really good to read. Good luck!

Bruddog, it will be a travesty if you have to buy yourself one single drink while we're in Madison. If you're thirsty, find me. Thanks for all the shit you do.

Hey guys I just twitched a great game between Hamburglar and myself, it was viewed by a couple people live. But now I can't find it on my Twitch dashboard. Any ideas? I tried that google thing and couldn't find much. Thanks...

Thanks for posting man. Really good to see you.