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kamphuna8

Sammamish WA, 11/9/2019, CFT TSD 1 - Silence of the Rams

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Baby Got Back and B’ed Region

1 Seed: kamp – New Orleans Saints SAINTS1 

Kamp took the Saints with his 2nd team pick, 3 picks after selecting Detroit. And New Orleans ended up getting the 1 seed and requisite bye in the Baby Got Back and B’ed Region. The Saints, Cowboys, and Patriots were all picked with hopes of being unsullied. The Saints almost made it. But before we get to the Sullying, lets get to the BEEF. Immediately after kamp picked the Saints, Grip picked the Rams and kamp had IMMEDIATE DOUBTS as the Rams somehow missed his radar of teams I was deciding on. Really kicking myself because of the Rams RB situation, BUT, the low but stout tier of players across the board, plus the running and kicking game had me thinking, add a WR and perhaps DB and make the Saints GEAUX! Well, Flipper was targeted over Ellard in order to keep Eric Martin. And then with little real STUDS avail in the secondary, and a sneaking suspicion that one of those teams that lost a QB 1 stud might target a QB 2 44 44 guy like Fourcade, the prospect of a MaJJikal connection to Flipper proved too enticing. About an hour before selecting MaJJik, Grip wondered in the draft chat if MaJJik was safe with how the draft was shaping out. I immediately responded that I didn’t think Majkowski was safe, but my reply was largely unnoticed… UNTIL he got SNATCHEDED! And then this turned out to be a very crucial pick as Fourcade got snatched by Tick’s Moonless Oilers (another great band name).

Net Adds: Flipper Anderson, Don the MaJJik Man Majkowski, Cody Carlson

Net Losses: John Fourcade, Steve Walsh, Brent Perriman

 

2 Seed: Tick – Houston Oilers OILERS1 

The Oilers were one of the more SULLIED teams, with the quality of the 3 players they lost arguably vying for most quality lost with the Niners. First Warren Moon was stolen by kamp’s Patriots, with a Gift of Grogan in return. Then Dick Dick was taken by Manyo’s Vikings, probably anticipating a loss of Browner. Before the Oilers 3rd player snatched, Tick was able to secure the services of Marion Butts, really putting a level of gas to that offense. Joey B snatched up Ernest Givins as his Rice Replacement Protocol, and then Tick finished his Player Snatch Phase of the draft by giving Fourcade the role of straight man ( a Fourcade façade if you will) to Grogan’s Farcical Comedy Act.

Net Adds: Marion Butts, John Fourcade, Steve Grogan, Reggie Rutland, Mike Wilson

Net Losses: Warren Moon, Richard Dick Dick Johnson, Ernest Givins, Lorenzo White, Cody Carlson

 

3 Seed: gripsmoke – Los Angeles Raiders RAIDERS1 

A Power Move pick of the 1st order, Grip got that speed with the selection of the Raiders as the 5th team overall. Speed upon speed in the RB, WR and DB rooms, where only 1 guy could be filched from each position group, thus leaving a sturdy roster regardless. Grip’s approach was to get Vinny to lead this charge, gifting Jay Schroeder to Manyo and his Rice-capades in Tampa. In the Player Snatch Phase, Grip lost Bo predictably, to Stu and his Eagles, but got Keith Byars in the swap. Then Grip lost Willie Gault kind of late, when Joey B wanted a speedy target for QB Bills in Phoenix, but got the Raiders got the services of none other than Ernie Muthaphukka Jones. Finally, Howie Long was purloined by kamp’s Detroit Lions for lowly Keith Ferguson, which after the MaJJik was gone, was the straw that broke grip’s camelback. Vengeance was required, and vengeance was dealt, in the form of Manny Hendrix from kamp’s Cowboys, gifting Lionel Washington in return.

Net Adds: Vinny Testaverde, Manny Hendrix, Keith Byars, Ernie Jones, Keith Ferguson

Net Losses: Bo Jackson, Willie Gault, Howie Long, Jay Schroeder, Lionel Washington

 

4 Seed: DT – Miami Dolphins DOLPHINS1 

DT’s Dolphins plan I’m sure involved him feeling confident in keeping that OL intact but… not so much. However, outside of being saddled with the Philly OL thanks to Stu, the Dolphins really didn’t lose all that much and vastly improved their offense’s versatility with the snatching of Bobby Humphrey from Tick’s Broncos. Dan Marino was Snatched by Tick giving Elway back, and then Manyo pinched Elway from the Dolphins, yet in the deal giving the services of one Phil Simms to DT and his Dolphin Attack. What a wild ride for the QB1 slot down in Miama. Marino, to Elway to Simms! The final addition to the Dolphins roster was none other than Everson Walls. So in the end, the Dolphins Defense lost nobody, Marino was replaced by… Simms. AND they added BHump... AND the PHI OL. I guess we’ll see how much a diff an OL can make…

Net Adds: Bobby Humphrey, Phil Simms, Everson Walls, PHI OL

Net Losses: Dan Marino, Sammie Smith, JB Brown, MIA OL

 

5 Seed: Joey B – New York Jets JETS1 

The Jets Snatch Draft was a little under my radar because I was verily predisposed when they kicked off their Player Snatch Phase, and it was one of my players to, Barry Sanders from Kamp’s Lions, gifting Blair Thomas in return. Then the Jets took the WAS OL to give Sanders some wide open lanes to run. In the process, Joey B did lose Erik McMillan AND Dennis Byrd, putting an airplane sized dent in their defense. Byrd was especially notable as it was very VENGEANCE motivated for DT to come at the JETS like that. Kyle Clifton is looking like a one man show back there, and good thing he has some INT skills.

Net Adds: Barry Sanders, HOGS (WAS OL), Scott Case, Greg Manusky

Net Losses: Erik McMillan, Dennis Byrd, JETS OL, Blair Thomas

 

6 Seed: Shamanyo1080 – Buffalo Bills BILLS1 

Surprisingly, or not surprisingly given the nature of this draft, the Bills fell to the 16th overall pick in the Team draft. Seems like guys were mostly hip to the fact that QB Bills and Thurmal would be gone, and then it was a crapshoot for who would be the 3rd Bill taken, but surely a 3rd would be filched. Manyo was proactive in selecting Neal Anderson, a dual threat that can serve as a deep ball JJ target in a pinch. Jamie Mueller was sent off to Stu’s Bears in that transaction. Then QB Bills and Thurmal got swiped by Joey B’s Cardinals and Stu’s Steelers respectively, bringing in the talented Mr. Rosenbach and Helicopter Dad Merrill Hoge. DT then swiped Bruce Smith for his Redskins, bringing BRUUUUCE back near his Virginia home, and securing the services of one Corny Biscuit, Cornelius Bennet to be able to hold down the opposing dive plays at LB4 since no more Bills could be “liberated”. Manyo’s 2nd addition was a QB 2 one, Heisman winning Andre Ware was purloined from kamp’s Lions to presumably start ahead of Timmy Rosenbach, with Frank Reich being offered to the Lions as a replacement and big comeback maker.

Net Adds: Neal Anderson, Andre Ware, Timm Rosenbach, Merrill Hoge, Marcus Koch

Net Losses: QB Bills, Thurman Thomas, Frank Reich, Bruce Smith, Jamie Mueller

 

7 Seed: Stu – Chicago Bears BEARS1 

Stu picking the Bears at #3 was also very Unsurprising. The Bears are his CFT team, that secondary is ELITE, there is a dual running threat, and a very stout DL. Stu ended up picking Boomer Esiason off of DT’s squad, offering in return a bit of his douchebag Harbaugh Style. Stu also snatched Stephone Paige off of the Chiefs roster late, giving Wendell Davis a chance to be THE GUY for Steve De Berg and Tick to target. Predictably, the Bears did not go unscathed in the Player Snatch Phase. As detailed above, Neal Anderson was replaced by Jamie Mueller, and Mark Carrier was seized by gripsmoke’s Packers, giving the hard hitting Chuck Cecil in return. And finally, Mike Singletary got plucked by Manyo and his Vkings in exchange for Scott Studwell.

Net Adds: Boomer Esiason, Stephone Paige, Jamie Mueller, Chuck Cecil, Scott Studwell

Net Losses: Neal Anderson, Mark Carrier, Mike Singletary, Wendell Davis, Jim Harbaugh

 

Region ANALysis and PreDICtions

Well, this was the 3rd region to be selected, and it was pretty wild seeing how the Dice Parsin’ roll gods divined us with 5 passable Back and B teams in the Baby Got Back and B’ed Region. While most probably won’t resort to Back and B all the time, I think we’ll have a grand ole time when the situation calls for Back and B in this region, as the Saints, Bills, Raiders, Dolphins and Oilers all could fit as a Back and B team, even though there are plenty of healthy running options on those squads. I have a feeling this is the most jacked region of the tourney. 4 “1st round” teams including the Bears, Oilers, Raiders, and Dolphins. Who will come out of this Back and B Treachery??? I’m gonna guess Oilers (with the power of Grogan!) and the Raiders (the other MOST MOONBALLIEST squad in this region)  come out of this region, with the Bears, Bills, and Dolphins all RIGHT THERE! Definitely the TUFFEST region.

Elite 8: Oilers and Raiders

Hubba Bubblicious: Bears, Bills and Dolphins

Bye bye after the bye: Saints

Bye Bye Bye Barry and the Jets: Jets

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Blood Sugar Sex MaJJik Region

 

1 Seed: DT – Cincinnati Bengals BENGALS1 

The Bengals were selected right after I/kamp picked the Cowboys. I almost picked the Bengals to see if DT would pick perhaps the Seahawks and some non Cowboys team due to the hate, but in the end, the prospect of raining JJ’s to my favorite PL88MAKER was too much to pass up. DT got Cincy immediately and my how things fell his way in the Queen City. Fulcher obviously was a goner, snatched by gripsmoke’s Colts, but DT had a plan for that, in picking up Rod Woodson from Stu’s Steelers. Stu responded in kind by taking Boomer Esiason, giving DT that fresh Douchebag Harbaugh Style. The Kaiser will be able to hold it down in this OK BOOMER situation, and DT fortified the Offense with a BAD MOON. Andre Rison was swiped from Tick’s Falcons for Downtown Eddie Brown. And then there was the wait. Will James Brooks get picked or won’t he? Well, in short, he wasn’t. And Cincy and DT got themselves a helluva squad. And then they messed around and got the last bye…

Net Adds: Rod Woodson, Andre Rison, Jim Harbaugh, Keith Taylor

Net Losses: David Fulcher, Boomer Esiason, Carl Carter, Eddie Brown

 

2 Seed: Shamanyo1080 – Minnesota Vikings VIKINGS1 

The Vikings were a bit of an enigma to me. They lost their biggest offensive threat in AC, so Steve Jordan is Whiskey Wade’s best field stretcher, and Herschel remains the running threat. That’s a lot of 44s to rely on, but perhaps the Tecmo Gods favor has been curried in ways that only the Shamanyo can curry them, leading to a run of Good and Excellence. On Defense WHEW. Yes Browner got gotten. However Richard Dick Dick Johnson was installed as DB1, and Millard was untouched, and given a ride or die homey in Mike Singletary. I think Manyo LIKES THAT KINDA PARTY! Unfortunately, a little smidge of buzzkill was delivered on the last Player Snatched, as Chris Doleman was taken by Joey B’s 49ers.

Net Adds: Richard Johnson DB, Mike Singletary, Kevin Fagan, Kevin Porter, Perry Kemp

Net Losses: Joey Browner, Anthony Carter, Chris Doleman, Reggie Rutland, Scott Studwell

 

3 Seed: kamp – Detroit Lions LIONS1 

The Lions are the only “1st round” team to be selected for the Blood Sugar Sex MaJJik region. Presumably Barry Sanders would be stolen, and this was true. J J J Joey and the Jets took Barry, but gave back Blair Thomas leaving some potential usage of Mel Gray as WR as a decent option with a 44ms RB carrying the load. Thinking I might lose William White as well, I selected Deion Sanders from Tick’s Falcons in exchange for Bad Bad Leroy Irvin. Then Manyo snatched up Andre Ware for his Bills, gifting Frank Reich in return. Not a terrible replacement, with equal PC to Peete. Then the Lions final move was to get Howie Long to partner up alongside Jerry Ball and create Havoc. Gripsmoke did not take to this move after a MaJJSnatchki (grip will get this, at least he should). Luckily, William White remained to help Deion hold the fort with Mike Cofer and crew.

Net Adds: Deion Sanders, Howie Long, Blair Thomas, Frank Reich

Net Losses: Barry Sanders, Andre Ware, Keith Ferguson, Leroy Irvin

 

4 Seed: Stu – Philadelphia Eagles EAGLES1 

Man did the Eagles FAAAALLLL in the team draft. The 26th team selected. We all knew QB Eagles was a goner, but man, things really turned out better than could be expected for Stu in the City of Brotherly Love. Joey and his Browns snatched QB Eagles up right off the bat, giving QB Browns in return. Then Gripsmoke and his Rams gave Jim Everett for QB Browns from Stu’s Eagles, which counted as Philly’s 2nd player being purloined, with the rules allowing only 3 before a team can be untouchable. Then Kamp and his Cowboys took Jim Everett, leaving Stu kinda stuck with the LVP Aikman hisself, but also with no more moves being allowed from the Eagles roster. That defense remained intact! Stu snatched up Bo Jackson with the 3rd overall Filch, losing Keith Byars in the exchange, and then Stu really shook things up by “gifting” the PHI OL to DT’s Miami team in exchange for that Miami OL! WOW.

Net Adds: Bo Jackson, Troy Aikman, Miami OL

Net Losses: QB Eagles, Keith Byars, PHI OL

 

5 Seed: Tick – Denver Broncos BRONCOS1 

Tick picked the Broncos as his 3rd team. Then he transformed them into a passing team. Bobby Humphrey was stolen by DT and his Dolphins after Tick stole Marino from DT’s Dolphins giving Elway in exchange. Then Tick did a Ricky for Ricky exchange with another DT team, giving Ricky Nattiel for Ricky Sanders. The Broncos still have their 2 other WRS and the 2 LBs, but instead of a run heavy offense, Sammie Smith will be looking to keep the defenses honest and the pressure off Marino.

Net Adds: Dan Marino, Ricky Sanders, Sammie Smith

Net Losses: Bobby Humphrey, John Elway, Ricky Nattiel

 

6 Seed: Joey B – Phoenix Cardinals CARDINALS1 

Joey meet Johnny. Johnny meet Joey. Now that that is settled, Johnny, don’t get yourself too concerned because Joey added QB Bills and Willie Gault to the mix. Joey started by sending Rosey to Manyo’s Bills for QB Bills, and then traded Ernie Muthaphukka Jones for Willie Gault of Gripsmoke’s Raiders. Things were still looking like that would be it until Tick snatched up Lonnie Young for his Chiefs in a secondary power move.

Net Adds: QB Bills, Willie Gault, Deron Cherry

Net Losses: Lonnie Young, Ernie Jones, Tim Rosenbach

 

7 Seed: gripsmoke – Indianapolis Colts COLTS1 

Grip took the Colts much earlier than most had the Colts pegged for. Most except me. How appropriate is it that he takes the Colts right after I take the Patriots? Doesn’t get any more appropriate if you ask me. I would love it if our teams were able to meet in the Elite 8, perhaps if they don’t we could run this on the side for Gits and Shiggles. Grip started things off with a bang, picking up Fulcher and dashing my Fulcher in a Dallas Uniform dreams. Then Grip dashed DT’s hopes of keeping ol’ Mudbone, snaking Dave Krieg from DT’s Seahawks for one Jeff George. The Colts were one of 3 Grey Worm teams in this draft along with the Patriots and the Browns. Fulcher on D with Krieg tossing up moonballs to the likes of Hester and Brooks? Watch out CFT

 

Region ANALysis and PreDICtions

I feel fairly confident in saying the the top 2 teams in this region are the Bengals and Eagles. Both teams surprisingly survived the Player Snatch Phase with less damage than anticipated and added some absolute NitroGlycerin to their teams respective offenses. Stu’s Eagles adding Bo and the MIA OL while only losing QB Eagles, and getting a serviceable Troy Aikman at that. And then DT’s Bengals getting to keep Brooks and adding Bad Moon and Rod Woodson. The next tier of teams I’d say would include Lions and Vikings. And then I just don’t have much faith that the Colts, Broncos and Cardinals are going to get the consistent results they’ll need from the passing game to survive and advance.

Elite 8: Eagles and Bengals

Bubblicious: Vikings and Lions

Back and B Doomed: Colts, Broncos and Cardinals

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One of the things I'd love to check out next is the interplay of player switches within regions and the proclivity of owners snatching from other owners

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HOLY $#!T...What typa crazy, draft day, player stealin', team swappin', rule breakin', tecmo cluster fuck typa $#!t is THIS??!  Damn Kamp, I got dizzy just reading your review........I can't imagine havin' ta write it!!!  😁   (...or play in it 👀)

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