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Mike Gordan

Week 15 Pick 'ems 2018-2019

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The last week of Thursday Night Football and the first week of Saturday Night Football as well.  So don't forget to make your picks for the first three games of the season.  With that said, let's get started:

 

Los Angeles Chargers @ Kansas City Chiefs

Houston Texans @ New York Jets--Saturday Afternoon

Cleveland Browns @ Denver Broncos--Saturday Night

Arizona Cardinals @ Atlanta Falcons

Detroit Lions @ Buffalo Bills

Green Bay Packers @ Chicago Bears

Oakland Raiders @ Cincinnati Bengals

Dallas Cowboys @ Indianapolis Colts

Miami Dolphins @ Minnesota Vikings

Tennessee Titans @ New York Giants

Washington Redskins @ Jacksonville Jaguars

Tampa Bay Buccaneers @ Baltimore Ravens

Seattle Seahawks @ San Francisco 49ers

New England Patriots @ Pittsburgh Steelers

Philadelphia Eagles @ Los Angeles Rams

New Orleans Saints @ Carolina Panthers

 

@Mike Gordan:        LAC, HOU, DEN, ATL, BUF, CHI, CIN, IND, MIN, NYG, JAX, BAL, SEA, NE, LAR, NO

@TecmoSuperFanKC, HOU, CLE, ATL, DET, CHI, OAK, IND, MIA, NYG, JAX, BAL, SEA, PIT, LAR, NO

@gojiphen malor:    LAC, HOU, DEN, ATL, BUF, CHI, OAK, IND, MIN, TEN, JAX, BAL, SEA, NE, PHI, NO

@Knobbe:                LAC, HOU, DEN, ATL, BUF, CHI, CIN, IND, MIN, NYG, JAX, BAL, SEA, NE, LAR, NO

@BigCat71:             KC, HOU, DEN, ATL, DET, CHI, OAK, IND, MIN, TEN, JAX, BAL, SEA, NE, LAR, NO

@Miles Prower:       LAC, HOU, CLE, ATL, BUF, CHI, OAK, DAL, MIA, NYG, JAX, BAL, SEA, NE, LAR, NO

@drummer4god:     KC, HOU, CLE, ATL, BUF, CHI, OAK, DAL, MIN, TEN, JAX, BAL, SEA, NE, LAR, NO

 

1st:  Mike Gordan:  0-0 (136-72)

2nd: Knobbe:  0-0 (131-77)

3rd:  gojiphen malor:  0-0 (128-80)

4th:  BigCat71:  0-0 (128-80)

5th:  drummer4god:  0-0 (121-87)

6th:  Miles Prower:  0-0 (118-90)

7th:  TecmoSuperFan:  0-0 (116-92)

 

The reasonings behind my picks will come later.

Edited by Mike Gordan

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Los Angeles Chargers @ Kansas City Chiefs > Chiefs

Houston Texans @ New York Jets > Texans

Cleveland Browns @ Denver Broncos > Browns

Arizona Cardinals @ Atlanta Falcons > Falcons

Detroit Lions @ Buffalo Bills > Lions

Green Bay Packers @ Chicago Bears > Bears

Oakland Raiders @ Cincinnati Bengals > Raiders

Dallas Cowboys @ Indianapolis Colts > Colts

Miami Dolphins @ Minnesota Vikings > Dolphins

Tennessee Titans @ New York Giants > Giants

Washington Redskins @ Jacksonville Jaguars > Jaguars

Tampa Bay Buccaneers @ Baltimore Ravens > Ravens

Seattle Seahawks @ San Francisco 49ers > Seahawks

New England Patriots @ Pittsburgh Steelers > Steelers

Philadelphia Eagles @ Los Angeles Rams > Rams

New Orleans Saints @ Carolina Panthers > Saints

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Los Angeles Chargers @ Kansas City Chiefs

Houston Texans @ New York Jets--Saturday Afternoon

BROWNS1 @ Denver Broncos--Saturday Night

Arizona Cardinals @ Atlanta Falcons

Detroit Lions @ Buffalo Bills

Green Bay Packers @ Chicago Bears

Oakland Raiders @ Cincinnati Bengals

Dallas Cowboys @ Indianapolis Colts

Miami Dolphins @ Minnesota Vikings

Tennessee Titans @ New York Giants

Washington Redskins @ Jacksonville Jaguars

Tampa Bay Buccaneers @ Baltimore Ravens

Seattle Seahawks @ San Francisco 49ers

New England Patriots @ Pittsburgh Steelers

Philadelphia Eagles @ Los Angeles Rams

New Orleans Saints @ Carolina Panthers

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Los Angeles Chargers @ Kansas City Chiefs

Houston Texans @ New York Jets

Cleveland Browns @ Denver Broncos

Arizona Cardinals @ Atlanta Falcons

Detroit Lions @ Buffalo Bills

Green Bay Packers @ Chicago Bears

Oakland Raiders @ Cincinnati Bengals

Dallas Cowboys @ Indianapolis Colts

Miami Dolphins @ Minnesota Vikings

Tennessee Titans @ New York Giants

Washington Redskins @ Jacksonville Jaguars

Tampa Bay Buccaneers @ Baltimore Ravens

Seattle Seahawks @ San Francisco 49ers

New England Patriots @ Pittsburgh Steelers

Philadelphia Eagles @ Los Angeles Rams

New Orleans Saints @ Carolina Panthers

 

 

 

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Los Angeles Chargers @ Kansas City Chiefs - A bit of a weird choice, but I'll take the upset choice here.  I'm of course going to get fucked over by this, but screw it.

 

Houston Texans @ New York Jets - >Jest  That's all I need to say.

 

Cleveland Browns @ Denver Broncos - The Browns use bullshit magic and get a decent record this year.

 

Arizona Cardinals @ Atlanta Falcons - Prepare to watch as the Atlanta Choke Machines choke, but I'll go with the... "better?" team I guess.

 

Detroit Lions @ Buffalo Bills - Why, Part 15: The worst we've ever seen.  Jesus Christ I'm not watching this shit.  Not even on recaps.  I don't care if it ends up being the greatest game of all time somehow, just fuck this game.  Bills win because fuck it.

 

Green Bay Packers @ Chicago Bears - Chicago continues to rape everyone because they used voodoo magic to revive the 1985 Bears Defense.

 

Oakland Raiders @ Cincinnati Bengals - Both of these teams are flaming dumpsterfires full of shit, but I'll go with the Raiders because I don't trust the Bungles.

 

Dallas Cowboys @ Indianapolis Colts - This one should be pretty close, but I expect the Cowboys to win and continue Jerry's Wank Train Express.

 

Miami Dolphins @ Minnesota Vikings - CONGRATULATIONS, VIKINGS!  YOUR SEASON IS COMPLETELY FUCKED!  WATCH AS KIRK COUSINS THROWS 3 INTS TO A BOTTOM TIER DEFENSE AND CHECKS DOWN 73 TIMES!  WHAT A GREAT USE OF $84 MILLION FUCKING DOLLARS GUARANTEED!  WATCH AS WE DESCEND INTO THE QUALITY OF THE EARLY 2000s VIKINGS!  Please kill me.

 

 

Tennessee Titans @ New York Giants - The Giants continue their win streak and fuck up their tanking.

 

Washington Redskins @ Jacksonville Jaguars - The buttfumble throws 6 INTs, gets benched and the Jags win a pointless game.

 

Tampa Bay Buccaneers @ Baltimore Ravens - Baltimore continues their momentum and beats the Fuckaqueers into submission en route to the playoffs.

 

Seattle Seahawks @ San Francisco 49ers - 49ers: No QB, no RB, no WRs, no O-Line.  Seahawks: QB, RBs, WRs, something that slightly resembles and O-Line.  The End.

 

New England Patriots @ Pittsburgh Steelers - New Englands wins again in this meme matchup. Also, THE STEELERS LOST TO THE RAIDERS AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

 

Philadelphia Eagles @ Los Angeles Rams - The Rams are starting to burn out, but they should be able to beat a dead Eagles team.

 

New Orleans Saints @ Carolina Panthers - More patented Drew Brees nuking as well as Cam Newton overthrowing everything and choking a game away.

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These faves: KC, Hou, Den, Atl, Chi, Indy, Mn, Jax, Bal, Sea, NE, LAR, NO

 

My upsets: Oak, Det, Tn

 

The faves I'm most uneasy about are Mn, NE & NO even though they would make the playoffs today. My team Chi better win - they say 'throw out the records', well I say this is time to really throw out that terrible record!

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Los Angeles Chargers @ Kansas City Chiefs

Houston Texans @ New York Jets--Saturday Afternoon

Cleveland Browns @ Denver Broncos--Saturday Night

Arizona Cardinals @ Atlanta Falcons

Detroit Lions @ Buffalo Bills

Green Bay Packers @ Chicago Bears

Oakland Raiders @ Cincinnati Bengals

Dallas Cowboys @ Indianapolis Colts

Miami Dolphins @ Minnesota Vikings

Tennessee Titans @ New York Giants

Washington Redskins @ Jacksonville Jaguars

Tampa Bay Buccaneers @ Baltimore Ravens

Seattle Seahawks @ San Francisco 49ers

New England Patriots @ Pittsburgh Steelers

Philadelphia Eagles @ Los Angeles Rams

New Orleans Saints @ Carolina Panthers

Edited by Knobbe
Changed to Chiefs

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Okay, time to discuss my picks for this week:

 

Los Angeles Chargers @ Kansas City Chiefs:  This one is pretty interesting.  First of all, even if the Chiefs lose this game, they can still clinch homefield advantage by winning out (because they'd own division tie-breaker over the Chargers).  Most of my picks were pretty much just strewn together haphazardly without much thought.  But now I'm basically looking at it from this angle; the Chiefs have yet to lose a home game this year behind Patrick Mahomes.  But when you get down to it, the Chargers are the only team in the NFL that doesn't have a homefield advantage whatsoever.  Every game either feels like a road game for better or worse, or is played in an empty stadium.  So it's not like the Chargers necessarily have to secure homefield advantage, much less a first round bye, just to make the Super Bowl.  The Chargers are a dangerous--albeit a touch undisciplined--team.  With that said, I went back and forth between these two teams, and I'm going to give the Chargers a chance to beat the Chiefs for the first time since Week 17 2013.

 

Houston Texans @ New York Jets:  Pretty straightforward.  Picking the better team here.

 

Cleveland Browns @ Denver Broncos:  The Browns certainly look like a better team lately, especially following the loss of Emmanuel Sanders and Chris Harris.  But for now, I'm giving the Broncos the benefit of the doubt for one more week.

 

Arizona Cardinals @ Atlanta Falcons:  Ugh.  Both teams are absolutely atrocious, aren't they?  I just picked the Falcons out of thin air, and it seems like everybody else is following suit.  So I'm standing pat here.

 

Detroit Lions @ Buffalo Bills:  In a void, I still think the Lions might be a tad better than the Bills.  But since it's being played in Buffalo--and the Bills are fairly competitive at home, and in the month of December hosting a dome team, I think the smart money has to go to Buffalo.

 

Green Bay Packers @ Chicago Bears:  Aaron Rodgers through all intents and purposes probably can will his team to victory now that he no longer has Mike McCarthy coaching him.  The question is whether or not it's too little too late.  All the Bears need to do is win and they're in the playoffs.  And I'm going to pick them to do just that.

 

Oakland Raiders @ Cincinnati Bengals:  Another ugly game to pick.  But for right now, I think I'm gonna have to lean more towards Bengals.  I'm kind of surprising just how unpopular this pick happens to be, but then again, maybe I shouldn't be.  The Bengals have been absolutely devastated with injuries.  But it's not like the Raiders are that much better, either.  All they have left is Derek Carr as QB, and the tension between him and his head coach is pretty intense right now.  But you know what?  Screw it!  I'm picking the Bengals.

 

Dallas Cowboys @ Indianapolis Colts:  Kind of surprising at the number of Colts picks this week.  I'm not quite as sold on this game as many others.  I honestly don't know how much better a Colts team that got shut out by the Jaguars a couple weeks ago could be compared to a Cowboys team that had beaten the Saints that long ago.  But I suppose it's going to be a home game for the Colts this time, and Andrew Luck is the better quarterback.  So you know what?  I'm gonna pick the Colts.

 

Miami Dolphins @ Minnesota Vikings:  The situation with the Vikings does appear to be falling apart.  But they only need to win two games to make the playoffs.  And they're playing at home.  Everybody with some semblance of sense knew the Vikings weren't going to beat the Patriots or Seahawks.  So you know what?  I'm gonna go with the Vikings.

 

Tennessee Titans @ New York Giants:  Simply put, the Titans are going to be the better team.  But the outcome of this game is going to be decided by homefield advantage, and whether or not the Titans can actually handle it.  I looked into it, and the Titans are not exactly a good road team.  As such, I'm picking the Giants to earn win number 6.

 

Tampa Bay Buccaneers @ Baltimore Ravens:  The warm-weather pass-happy Buccaneers traveling to Baltimore in December to take on that elite defense?  Only if Lamar Jackson has another subpar performance.  As such, I'm picking the Ravens to win again.

 

Seattle Seahawks @ San Francisco 49ers:  I'm picking the Seahawks to win this one.

 

New England Patriots @ Pittsburgh Steelers:  Neither team impresses me, though the Steelers are clearly free-falling.  Combined with the fact that they haven't beaten New England since 2008, and there's little evidence to suggest that the Steelers as they are now can actually get it done.  They surrender the lead in their division to the Ravens.  And the Patriots win the AFC East for the fiftieth consecutive season in a row.

 

Philadelphia Eagles @ Los Angeles Rams:  Nick Foles will be starting this game for the injured Carson Wentz, who may or may not start another game this season.  I think the door is starting to close on the Eagles here.  I'm picking the Rams to get it done yet again.

 

New Orleans Saints @ Carolina Panthers:  Yet another game between a team in freefall versus a Super Bowl contender.  And once again, I see little to no evidence to suggest that the Panthers can get it done.

 

Finally, let's go over who my Survival Pick this week is going to be.  I'm picking the Rams on Sunday Night.

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The game was fun and all, but I may have to go away for a bit.  Why?  Because the battery in my laptop's fried, and it won't recharge.

 

So if I do appear, it might be on Monday's only.  At least until I am able to get a new battery for my computer.  So until then, adios.

 

Edit:  So...I removed the battery, found out that the AC Adapter is still doing its job, and out of morbid curiosity, turned on the laptop, and it still works.  So that does give me a bit of a stay of execution.  My AC Adapter is a piece of shit though, so I suppose I could buy a new one alongside a new battery.  Any tips and advice on where to go to buy a new battery for my laptop?  My model's an HP, btw.

Edited by Mike Gordan

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On ‎12‎/‎10‎/‎2018 at 9:54 PM, Mike Gordan said:

@Mike Gordan:        LAC, HOU, DEN, ATL, BUF, CHI, CIN, IND, MIN, NYG, JAX, BAL, SEA, NE, LAR, NO

@TecmoSuperFanKC, HOU, CLE, ATL, DET, CHI, OAK, IND, MIA, NYG, JAX, BAL, SEA, PIT, LAR, NO

@gojiphen malor:    LAC, HOU, DEN, ATL, BUF, CHI, OAK, IND, MIN, TEN, JAX, BAL, SEA, NE, PHI, NO

@Knobbe:                LAC, HOU, DEN, ATL, BUF, CHI, CIN, IND, MIN, NYG, JAX, BAL, SEA, NE, LAR, NO

@BigCat71:             KC, HOU, DEN, ATL, DET, CHI, OAK, IND, MIN, TEN, JAX, BAL, SEA, NE, LAR, NO

@Miles Prower:       LAC, HOU, CLE, ATL, BUF, CHI, OAK, DAL, MIA, NYG, JAX, BAL, SEA, NE, LAR, NO

@drummer4god:     KC, HOU, CLE, ATL, BUF, CHI, OAK, DAL, MIN, TEN, JAX, BAL, SEA, NE, LAR, NO

 

1st:  gojiphen malor:  10-5 (138-85)

2nd: Mike Gordan:  9-6 (145-78)

3rd:  Knobbe:  9-6 (140-83)

4th:  drummer4god:  8-7 (129-87)

5th:  BigCat71:  7-8 (135-88)

6th:  Miles Prower:  7-8 (125-98)

7th:  TecmoSuperFan:  7-8 (123-100)

Man, following a glorious 9-3 start, the rest of the afternoon had not been kind to me, hasn't it?  It's one thing for the Eagles or Steelers to pull away with big upsets, but the 49ers over the Seahawks!?  What on earth happened there to cost them THAT game?

 

But at the end of the day, my one truly bad pick was the Giants over the Titans.  Even I thought the Titans were the better team; I just didn't believe that it would translate on the road in December in New York against the Giants' offense.  Then again, considering just how much I hate picking games involving the Tennessee Titans (the most Jekyll and Hyde team in the NFL bar none), of course I would have screwed up concerning this team.

 

But at the end of the day, the pick (alongside a late slew of upsets--still can't get past the fact that the Seahawks and Rams lost) basically cost me the Gold this week.  Gold goes to gojiphen malor.  I am conceding this weekend (no reason to change my pick from the Saints to the Panthers...although given the outcome of all three of the later games, for all we know, the Panthers could pull away with an upset at home against the Saints as well).

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