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NFL 2017-2018 Season Discussion

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So there are some reports going out there concerning who will be fired after tomorrow's games, and who will be here for another season.  Let's go over the 17 NFL teams that are currently eliminated from playoff contention:

 

Likely Staying:  Mike McCarthy (GB), Bill O'Brien (Hou), Adam Gase (Mia), Todd Bowles (NYJ), Kyle Shanahan (SF), Dirk Koetter (TB), and Jay Gruden (Was).

Likely Gone:  Bruce Arians (retiring) (Ari), John Fox (Chi), Marvin Lewis (contract expires) (Cin), Hue Jackson (Cle), Jim Caldwell (Det), Chuck Pagano (Ind), and Jack del Rio (Oak).

 

No word yet on the Cowboys and Broncos.  If I have to make a hunch, then Jason Garrett might end up getting fired while Vance Joseph will be given a second chance.  But these are mere guesses at this point.

 

Also, of the six teams looking to clinch a playoff berth (Bills, Chargers, Ravens, Titans, Falcons, and Seahawks), I think the team that would most likely end up firing their head coach should they fail to clinch a playoff berth would probably be the Titans.  I think the Bills and Chargers will likely give their head coaches a second chance; I think the Ravens will for sure make the playoffs (and even if they don't, I think John Harbaugh will be safe), and even if the Seahawks don't get the help they need, they still would keep Pete Carrol on board at least until he can no longer coach an NFL team.  The Falcons are kind of a toss-up, but I think their coach is also safe.

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THE BILLS POSTSEASON DROUGHT HAS FINALLY ENDED!  SEATTLE SEAHAWKS ARE ELIMINATED FROM PLAYOFF CONTENTION--AND THEY ALSO HAPPENED TO HAVE LOST!  AND THE DETROIT LIONS HAVE SWEPT THE PACKERS FOR THE FIRST TIME SINCE 1991!  AND THE CLEVELAND BROWNS ARE 0-16!

 

CONGRATULATIONS EVERYONE!

 

Also, Chuck Pagano was finally canned.

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Now, time for our final Power Rankings for the season.  Maybe I'll do another one after the Super Bowl, but through all intents and purposes, this is the Power Rankings for the time being:

 

32.  Cleveland Browns (0-16):  The record says it all.  The Browns have finally reached rock bottom with no hope of escaping.  They now share the distinction alongside the 1976 Tampa Bay Buccaneers and the 2008 Detroit Lions as the worst team in NFL history.  The Browns are so pathetic in fact that many quarterbacks are contemplating skipping the draft because they don't want to play for them.  These rookie prospects all know full well what is up, and they know that they want absolutely no part in this cesspool of shit.  Enjoy your Imperfect Season parade, Cleveland!

 

31.  New York Giants (3-13):  The Giants were through all intents and purposes the second worst team in all of pro football.  At least you closed off your season with an upset win against the Redskins though.  2-14 is utterly pathetic, but 3-13 is nothing short of pretty bad.  On the bright spot, you can perhaps draft a potentially elite understudy to Eli Manning.  You have a whole slew of prospects to choose from, so choose wisely.

 

30.  Houston Texans (4-12):  The Browns may have won themselves a parade, but the Texans have won themselves the broken trophy award--a trophy you award to an NFL team that has been devastated the most by injuries.  By season's end, Jadaeveon Clowney (who ironically enough was the most injury-prone player heading into this season) was the only major NFL starter that was present from beginning to end.  On the bright side, it seems that Bill O'Brien isn't gonna be blamed for the horrors that this season has suffered from.

 

29.  Indianapolis Colts (4-12):  It says a lot when the only teams you were able to defeat were a Brian Hoyer-led 49ers, a Texans squad receiving the Stressed Eric treatment (sweeping them in the process), and the laughably retarded Cleveland Browns.  You might as well be this big bully that likes to beat up on hospice patients, newborn infants, and Simple Jack just to make yourself feel tough and macho.  When the fact of the matter was, the only thing you did right all year long was avoid 0-16 by picking on the utterly helpless.  Unfortunately, this means the Texans get the third pick in the draft right ahead of you because you had swept them.

 

28.  New York Jets (5-11):  I honestly considered ranking them ahead of a few other NFL teams, since they did get some pretty good wins in there (they've beaten the Bills, Chiefs and Jaguars--all playoff teams--as well as the Dolphins and Browns of course).  The problem?  Well, they've actually lost to two out of the three teams ranked ahead of them, even while healthy, AND they have been every bit as helpless as the teams ranked below them once Josh McCown was lost for the season and Bryce Petty took his place.  I guarantee that the Jets could have stood a chance at upsetting the Patriots had they had any other quarterback than the guy that they've had, including DeShone Kizer.

 

27.  Denver Broncos (5-11):  Following that 3-1 season, the only teams the Broncos were able to defeat were the Jets and Colts.  We've already explained just how bad that they were, so let that sink in for a moment.  Starting with a humiliating blowout loss at the hands of the Giants, the Broncos were exposed and otherwise were utterly incapable of closing out games without being made to look utterly incompetent.  Even when playing against a Chiefs squad resting all of their starters, they still couldn't do jack shit to win the game.  And frankly, I blame that worthless good-for-nothing head coach of ours, Vance Joseph.  Just you watch as John Elway attempts to hire Jack del Rio as a defensive coordinator.

 

26.  Tampa Bay Buccaneers (5-11):  Even before the Buccaneers came back and upset the Saints, I was going to bump them up this high on the Power Rankings.  The Buccaneers miserable season was mostly the result of a brutally difficult schedule--they were in an NFC South division that sent three teams to the playoffs with roughly the same records, and they also had to play the Patriots, Bills, and Vikings.  Given that they were 1-8 against all six of these teams, only winning earlier today against the Saints, it's pretty clear this was largely the product of a brutal schedule that nobody would have saw coming.  The 3 other losses they suffered were at the hands of the Packers, Lions, and Cardinals, which, while not that great, were all mostly on the mediocre side of things anyways.

 

25.  Chicago Bears (5-11):  The Buccaneers may have walloped the Bears at the beginning of the season, but let's face it; the Bears were starting Mike Glennon at QB back then.  What ultimately sets the Bears apart from all the other teams ranked below them was the overall health of the team, as well as the kind of teams they were able to defeat.  They've beaten teams like the Steelers, Panthers, Ravens and Bengals.  Yes, they've even bested the Browns, but that's besides the point.  They're the only team with 5 wins or less to have beaten one of the bye teams.

 

24.  Green Bay Packers (7-9):  Considering the fact that Aaron Rodgers was only available for about 5 or 6 whole games this season, you can pretty much tell just how bad this team was without him.  They were 4-3 with Rodgers as a starter, and 3-6 without him.  Their three wins were against the Bears, Bucs, and Browns, btw, and they nearly lost against the latter two teams when they played them.  Even with the return of Aaron Rodgers, the Packers still couldn't stamp in a victory and set themselves up for a deep run.  So, they decided to just put him back on IR like he was never there, and acted as though he never came back in the first place.  If not for the fact that Aaron Rodgers was actually a dominant force to be reckon with during the first five weeks of the season, as well as those three wins against teams ranked in the bottom 8, this team would rank much lower.  They were that bad.

 

23.  Miami Dolphins (6-10):  I honestly had a big tossup on who was worse between the Raiders and Dolphins.  I ultimately went with the team that lost earlier in the year in a head-to-head matchup.  And no, the fact that the Raiders had beaten them wasn't the reason why.  You see, a couple years ago, the Dolphins had inexpicably upset the Patriots and set ourselves up for that matchup for homefield advantage with the Steelers a week later.  But ultimately, I figured that what killed this team was the quarterback position.  Jay Cutler was wildly inconsistent all year long in the absence of Ryan Tanehill, and their subsitutes at QB were not that much better.  The Patriots squad they defeated was without Rob Gronkowski by the way.  And their only other impressive win was a come-from-behind victory that was typical for the Falcons to give up.  Other than that, every other team that was remotely worth a damn had defeated them, including a few other teams that weren't quite as good by comparison.

 

22.  Oakland Raiders (6-10):  In stark contrast, the Raiders offensive line decided to betray Derek Carr earlier on in the season, and once they were officially eliminated from playoff contention, they all but completely given up on trying to win any games at all.  On top of that, they've only defeated two playoff teams all year long--the Titans and the Chiefs, who ended up annihilating them in the rematch--and lost to a ton of other contenders as well, like the Redskins, Cowboys, Chargers, and Ravens.  It is kind of hard to justify rating this team ahead of Miami, even with the head-to-head win over the Dolphins.  But the way I see it, this team was consistently brimming with talent, and found all kinds of different ways to squander their opportunities to close out games.  Once they lost to the Chiefs, the Raiders all but completely given up on their season and never won another game again.  So obviously, Jack del Rio gets the shaft for completely leaving his team hanging and not being able to adjust.

 

21.  Cincinnati Bengals (7-9):  The Bungles were a shockingly inept team for much of the season, in spite having everything they could possibly have to actually make some noise and attempt to crash the postseason.  The problem was, the Bungles only had one win against a playoff contender prior to last week, and that was the Buffalo Bills.  Since then, following news that Marvin Lewis will be parting ways with the organization, the Bungles had ran the table and won out, even ending the Detroit Lions and Baltimore Ravens seasons.  But if one could imagine an alternate reality where the Bungles could have beaten the Texans and Packers at the start of the season, and we might be talking about the Bungles as a playoff team.

 

20.  San Francisco 49ers (6-10):  If we are merely talking about the 49ers over the past five weeks, this team might actually rate a lot higher.  They started off with convincing wins against bottom-feeders like the Bears and Texans, and then closed out by defeating playoff teams like the Titans, Jaguars and Rams.  Yes, I do know that the Rams decided to rest all of their starters, but the fact that they ripped the Jaguars' defense to shreds was quite an eye-opener to say the absolute least.  The problem as to why they do not rate any higher, however, was that prior to that Week 13 game against the Bears, the 49ers were right up there with the Browns, Giants, Texans and Colts for worst team in the entire league.  That trade with the Patriots to nab Jimmy G turned out to be the epic turnaround that the 49ers absolutely needed going forward.  So now, we can expect the NFC West next year to be really competitive.

 

19.  Washington Redskins (7-9):  What ultimately killed the Redskins season were the injuries they sustained over the course of the year, as well as their total inability to compete with the Cowboys and Eagles.  The fact of the matter is, they were still able to go down to LA and Seattle to defeat the Rams and Seahawks respectively, even with the lack of talent across the board.  In fact, they actually played some of their best football against the NFC West sweeping the division.  But on top of all that, they also had the misfortune of getting the surprisingly talented Vikings and Saints this season, and they were unfortunately unable to close out those games, in spite their best efforts, either.  However, their absolute worst performances came against their division rivals, as they were 1-5 against all of them.  Had the Redskins shown up and were prepared to take them on, we might have considered putting them in the playoff hunt.  Hence, why they were a surprisingly good team this season in spite of their record.

 

18.  Arizona Cardinals (8-8):  Yes, in spite having lost to the Redskins, I felt compelled to rank them a tad higher.  To be fair, that game between these two teams was always kind of weird to say the least, as both teams were actively trying their best not to lose.  The Cardinals were another team that was ravaged by injuries.  But more importantly, ravaged by age.  I doubt the Cardinals stand much of a chance at winning many games in the foreseeable future as the core that took their squad to the NFC Championship game two years ago are all but dead at this point.  It's only because of coach Bruce Arians that the Cardinals were able to win as they did, and to add even more salt to the wound, he may very well end up retiring from head coaching.  If that's true, that even more devastating than all their veteran players growing old and weak.

 

17.  Baltimore Ravens (9-7):  A couple weeks ago, the Ravens were ranked number 11 because they were the team I felt was the surest bet at making the playoffs.  Their schedule was piss easy, and other than a bad game against the Bears, they never really lost to a team that wasn't competing for a playoff spot.  Then tonight came, and the Ravens weaknesses show.  They are the only team with a winning record that hasn't recorded a single, solitary win against one of our 12 playoff teams.  They were swept by the Steelers, and vanquished by the Vikings, Jaguars, and Titans.  In other words, the Ravens were cashing in on an otherwise piss-easy schedule, and they STILL couldn't make the playoffs.  Maybe had they taken care of business against the Bungles or Bears, then they would have taken full advantage of their piss easy schedule and made the playoffs.  How sad.  And for a moment, I actually thought they would actually get there, too.  Oh, well.  Back to mediocrity, you go!

 

16.  Dallas Cowboys (9-7):  You know these randomly arbitrary suspensions that feel more like the NFL headquarters trying to rig these NFL seasons?  Well, imagine an alternate reality where Ezekiel Elliot wasn't suspended for six games; we might actually be talking about a playoff berth for the Cowboys.  All one would really need to do is turn that loss against the Falcons to a win, and they would be in as the 6th seed!  It goes to show that the only reason they even went after him wasn't because he "supposedly" hit his girlfriend, but rather to use that as a justifiable excuse to sabotage the Cowboys as payback against Jerry Jones for dare standing up and fighting against Roger Goodell.  I rest my case.

 

15.  Seattle Seahawks (9-7):  Yet another team ravaged by injuries, as well as the league's worst offensive line.  Russell Wilson was the only reason they even gotten this far in the first place.  And because their matchup with the Cowboys was last week, and they won that matchup, they rank ahead of the Cowboys.  Even with the recent history of the Cardinals defeating the Seahawks at home, nobody in their right mind was willing to give the Cardinals a chance.  But the fact that the Seahawks still couldn't win is ample proof of their problems.  And now, they have to contend with both the Rams and 49ers going forward.  I sense an end of an era in Seattle is fast approaching.

 

14.  Detroit Lions (9-7):  The Lions only needed one thing to go their way, and they would be in the playoffs today--the worst coaching call in the NFC this year came when the Lions hosted the Falcons.  In spite driving downfield for a game-winning touchdown, the referees overturned the call, ran out the clock, and the Lions had lost.  And here we are.  We also have the unfortunate fate of facing down a Bungles squad that was playing their hearts out for Marvin Lewis because he is gonna be parting ways with the organization.  But even had the Lions won that game, they'd still be out of the playoffs at this time.  The punishment, of course, is to fire Jim Caldwell.  He may not be that great a head coach, but the Lions were mostly victims of bad luck and happenstance rather than victims of inept coaching.

 

13.  LA Chargers (9-7):  While one game may have killed the Lions, the first four games of the season was where the Chargers repeatedly shot themselves in a foot.  Had they made those field goals against the Broncos and Dolphins, they would have made the playoffs today, if not win the division outright.  They also played the Chiefs and Eagles, and lost in competitive fashion.  By season's end, the Chargers looked poise to do their job and finally crack the playoffs, but things did not go their way.  The Ravens lost, and the Titans won--the opposite needed to happen for the Chargers to make the playoffs.  But if there's any consolation, they are probably most fit out of all 5 of these teams to win their division again in the near-future.  But time is running out for this organization to help Philip Rivers build a team worthy of competing for a Super Bowl.

 

And I'll cover the top 12 teams later on.  Since we never had one of these 10-win teams that ultimately failed to make the playoffs, it is fairly safe to say that these 12 teams are now officially the best of the best.  Heading into the playoffs, it is best to instead rank those 12 teams based on who is most likely to not only make the Super Bowl, but also win it.  But do note, however, that the previous 20 teams are, in my mind, definitive in their rankings.  The rest of the top 12 will of course be readjusted by season's end.  Later.

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My thoughts on Mahomes' debut: If he had Tyreek Hill starting, he probably would have at least one or two TD passes. Despite the early INT he threw, he didn't seem too worried. Made some good throws. I like what i see. Just needs to focus on trying to scramble forwards instead of backwards.

 

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Bills fans right now

 

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*.... and I'm not trolling.  In the past two seasons they have thrown 2 dildos onto the field and caught 2 sets of couples smashing in the parking lot after a game.  Drunk dudes tailgating by jumping through tables and lighting themselves on fire... and most recently, as of a few hours ago, have donated over $100M to Andy Dalton's charity.  I like their style.  I am officially rooting for them unless or until they play New England.

 

Edited by Bodom

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Sorry for taking so long, but here are the remainder of my Power Rankings--playoff edition:

 

12.  Tennessee Titans (9-7):  This team has mostly gotten away with playing mostly shit teams like the Browns and Bungles; they may have beaten the Seahawks and Ravens, who were both playoff contenders, mind you, but both teams lost crucial season finales that ultimately cost them any hope of actually making the playoffs (not that the Seahawks could have gotten in anyways, given the fact that the Falcons took care of business at home), as well as a Texans squad so beat up that it'd be the equivalent of mugging a five-year-old boy in a coma, or a Colts squad so incompetent that is has rendered Andrew Luck's future in limbo--as an efficient quarterback, I mean.  Their only meaningful win against a playoff-bound team came against the Jaguars in a season-long clean sweep, but more on that later.  People may be blaming Marcus Mariota for having quite dramatically his worst season as a pro, but I mostly blame that on Mark Mularky's coaching decisions.  Had they not won their season finale against the Jaguars, I guarantee you that Mularky would have been shown the guillotine.  Even if they get past the Kansas City Chiefs this week, there is no possible way in hell I'd pick this team to go into Foxborough and get away with a win, much less Pittsburgh (who, mind you, exposed them as the most overrated playoff team by a wide fucking margin with an epic ass-whoopin' that nearly resulted in a collapse of epic proportions).

 

11.  Buffalo Bills (9-7):  The fact that the Bills offense has been mostly terrible all season long is more or less a testament to this team's overall toughness on defense than anything else (well, when one discredits their humiliating 3-game losing streak against the Jets, Saints, and Chargers, as well as their regular season sweep at the hands of the Patriots).  I personally think that the Bills have the best shot at an upset out of all the Wild Card teams this weekend.  Sure, they're playing the Jaguars, but Tyrod Taylor is at least more capable and reliable than Blake Bortles, who appeared to have regressed big time when the Jaguars lost 3 out of 4 to close out the season, but again, more on that later.  Unfortunately, they will have to get it done without their best offensive player in LeSean McCoy at RB.  And even then, that would mean going to Foxborough, and all I have to say is, even with Brady's health, strength, and accuracy starting to show some cracks, and potential behind-the-scenes drama boiling over there, the Bills would still get their asses handed to them on a silver platter by the Patriots.  But enough negativity.  Let's give the Bills a round of applause for finally ending their postseason drought.  Maybe next year will finally be their year where they'll be able to compete for a Super Bowl title!

 

10.  Philadelphia Eagles (13-3):  Man, the last three games of the season sure did turn out kind of ugly, did they?  Sure, they won the first two games to clinch home field advantage, but then they got shut out, and with their starters playing for about a quarter or so of the game.  They barely even hung on against the pathetically awful Giants or the recently dehumanized Raiders, too.  The fact that Carson Wentz went down to injury when they were facing down what could soon become the next epic NFL rivalry between Wentz and Goff, were staring down a deficit, and yet still managed to win in order to clinch the division is proof positive that the Eagles are still an astoundingly balanced and well-oiled machine.  But their playoff future mostly boils down to two things:  Their home field advantage--they are the only cold-weather team in the NFC playoff bracket, and Eagle fans are a notoriously unhinged bunch rivaled only by the soon-to-collapse Black Hole--and their quarterback play.  Either way, I do not see this team getting far, much less reaching the Super Bowl.  Even if they do, they're gonna get their asses handed to them by either of the AFC division title winners.

 

9.  Carolina Panthers (11-5):  Only the Buffalo Bills have a consistently worse passing attack than the Panthers do.  Which is stunning, considering the fact that Cam Newton actually tore it up big time early on in the year.  It was probably those games against the Saints, Bears, and Lions that they probably wished that they had back.  And maybe the Falcons, too just to be safe.  But, they were the very last team to defeat the Vikings in a stunning upset, and they spoiled Aaron Rodger's big return from a broken collarbone.  But be as it may, I do not see this team lasting very long.  I only rate them this high because hypothetically, if they do somehow spoil the Saints' home field advantage in the Wild Card round, they could probably match up well with the Eagles and Vikings.  But unless they can somehow get past a Saints team that had gotten the best of them both times this season, I do not see them ever getting there.

 

8.  Jacksonville Jaguars (10-6):  I still will assist that the Jaguars are the one AFC team with the most realistic shot at upsetting the Patriots.  Unfortunately, they have to actually make it that far first, and while the Bills game is definitely winnable, and they have indeed humiliated the Steelers in Pittsburgh, no less earlier in the season; the problems are the cold, hostile weather that this Florida team will have to find some way to overcome; and then there is Blake Bortles, who may very well be the Rex Grossman of the NFL playoffs this year--has sparks of brilliance, but can otherwise become quite the hindrance towards his own team's chances at success.  Even with a good running attack and a lethal defense surpassed only by the Minnesota Vikings (and occasionally the LA Rams, who are at least more consistently reliable).

 

7.  Kansas City Chiefs (10-6):  Well, it only took you this long to finally consistently win.  Andy Reid decided to forfeit play calling duties on offense to his coordinators, trusting them to do their job after a dominant 5-0 start gave rise to a dreadful 6-5 revelation.  They still lost in a high-scoring frenzy in what would ultimately be the Jets' final regular season win of the year.  But other than that, they found their groove and won back-to-back games against the Raiders and Chargers before sealing up the division crown against the Dolphins.  Like the Jaguars, the Chiefs are probably one of three of four teams with a realistic shot at defeating the Patriots since the Chiefs seem to match up well against them.  Unfortunately, unless Jacksonville eliminates the Steelers for them, that's probably going to be as far as they will go when it comes to reaching the Super Bowl.  At least the Chiefs would have some pretty entertaining Super Bowl stories with a couple of the big contenders (looking at you, Philadelphia and Minnesota).

 

6.  Atlanta Falcons (10-6):  If the Falcons can get past the Rams in the Wild Card round, the Falcons will then have a clear path back to the Super Bowl.  And before anybody says anything, the Falcons had kept it competitively close in a defensive slugfest against the Vikings during the regular season, so it definitely goes without saying that the Falcons could actually end up getting back to the Super Bowl.  They are probably the third likeliest team to pop up in the NFC Championship game even though they are clearly inferior to the Rams in just about every way but experience and depth.  And perhaps defense, too.  What perhaps boosts the Falcons this high mostly is that in spite the worst record of all the playoff teams in the NFC, the Falcons have the best quality sets of wins of any of these playoff teams, rivalled only by the Vikings of all teams.  I'm not even remotely exaggerating, here.  The Falcons have pretty much defeated every single, solitary playoff contender heading into the final weeks--teams like the Packers, Cowboys, Seahawks, and Lions all fell by the wayside.  Sure, they've lost to the Vikings, Patriots, and Bills, and split their regular season records against the Saints and Panthers--all teams that made the playoffs (their other loss was against the Dolphins, btw), but if given another chance, they could very well end up defeating these teams again.  Maybe.  I don't know.

 

5.  New Orleans Saints (11-5):  Okay, that was a weird way to end the season and yet still win their division all the same.  Other than Bolt, who merely picked them with the hopes of snagging a different pick from the big three at the weekly Pick'em's, no sane person would have predicted the Buccaneers to win over the Saints, especially given how bad that they were.  Even taking into account how close the Bucs kept it the week before against the Panthers.  While the Saints definitely have a clear path to the NFC Championship game--even more clear than the Falcons do, in fact--I highly doubt they can actually come into Minnesota and pull away with an upset.  Sure, strange things happen all the time in the NFC, and the Vikings always seem to find some new ways to choke away in the biggest stage leading up to a Super Bowl appearance--so much so that field goals and Hail Mary's seem to become the reoccurring theme in how the Vikings always lose when it matters most--but all things considered, it's hard to lean on the Saints in any way other than the fact that Drew Brees is by far the best quarterback in the NFC playoff hunt right now.  Even in spite how exciting Cam Newton can be at times.

 

4.  LA Rams (11-5):  The Rams decided to rest their starters because they wanted the 4th Seed.  I honestly don't blame them; with Carson Wentz out, just about anybody with any real sense would rather face Nick Foles and the Eagles in the divisional round than the revived Purple People Eaters.  It's just a shame then that the Saints derped their way to an upset loss only for the Panthers to not show up and for Cam Newton to become a turnover machine, because the Rams ended up with the 3 seed anyways.  Meaning even if they get past the Falcons, they still will have to go to Minnesota and must find some way to overcome that defense.  We'll be getting the League's Best Defense vs. League's Best Offense earlier than we thought, and the best offense has a much better winning percentage in the playoffs than they do in the Super Bowl.  So that's good news.  Unfortunately, the after a 3-quarter stalemate between the two teams earlier in the season, the Vikings pierced the Rams' defensive armor and utterly clobbered them.  So while the Rams are perhaps the second best team in the NFC, no team in that conference has a harder road to the Super Bowl than the Rams do (at least the Eagles have homefield advantage against mostly dome and warm weather teams as their argument).  And even then, the Falcons are not exactly what one would call a gimmie win, either.

 

3.  Pittsburgh Steelers (13-3):  If not for one bullshit call from the refs, the Steelers would have secured home field advantage instead of the Patriots.  As such, it seems all but inevitable that we will see a rematch in Foxborough again in the AFC Championship game.  And if it comes to this, we might as well expect yet another Super Bowl appearance for our next team on the countdown.  Still, they'll most likely get the inconsistent Blake Bortles and the warm-weather Jaguars first, if not a Chiefs team they own on a regular basis.  But if the stars align for the Steelers, or if some of the things I've heard when it comes to the Patriots, we may very well end up seeing the Steelers spoil the Patriots' attempt at a 6th Lombardi (remember that Big Ben's only career win against Peyton Manning actually came in similar circumstances--all the way back in 2005 when they upset a Colts team that was expected to reach the Super Bowl, and the team ended up winning it all as the 6th seed that year), so who knows?  Maybe the Steelers under Big Ben will finally upend the Patriots' Super Bowl aspirations and put an end to a glorious era in New England.  Big Ben's speech following the Steelers loss to Jacksonville did seem to suggest a "We're On in Cincinnati"-type of confidence boost, so who knows, really?

 

2.  New England Patriots (13-3):  As the Patriots secured home field advantage throughout the playoffs, they are pretty much the de facto AFC representative in Super Bowl LII by this point.  Only once has this team ever secured homefield advantage and not even get there--and that was a shocking upset loss in 2010 by the hands of Mark Sanchez and the Jets.  The only time they ever lost a conference championship game at home?  Two years later at the hands of the eventual Super Bowl champion Baltimore Ravens and Ray Lewis' farewell tour.  And throughout the entire Patriots dynasty, only the Manning brothers and Ray Lewis have ever consistently spoiled the Patriots' road back to the Super Bowl.  As neither player is clearly present in the playoff bracket, the only thing that could possibly kill them are Brady's age and fatigue; and some of these reports I keep hearing about the growing friction between Brady, Belichick, and Kraft (among others).  I would also wager that a lethal defensive unit or an injury to Gronk would probably kill the Patriots outright unless they are mere minutes away from winning the Super Bowl.  Speaking of which, I all but guarantee this year to be the final year the Patriots can possibly compete for a Super Bowl title, because without Garoppolo at backup, and with Brady getting on in age, if anything threatens their Super Bowl aspirations, well, it's been fun, now has it?

 

1.  Minnesota Vikings (13-3):  Two main reasons why the Vikings are ranked number 1 over the Patriots:  Even with home field advantage, calling them the best team in the league right now seems a tad too bold even if them getting there has become so pedestrian that it makes One-Punch Man look like an intense noir thriller (they still have to defeat two teams that want it every bit as much as they do, and are confident talented enough to pull away with the upset); second, like the Chiefs and Jaguars, the Vikings are the third and perhaps the most likely team to defeat Brady in the Super Bowl.  Like the Jaguars, they have the lethal defense to back them up; sure, Case Keenum may not be a stud quarterback, but he's definitely competent and far more reliable than Blake Bortles.  And on top of that, even though the NFC representative would be the road team this year, the Vikings, provided they get there as well, would still have homefield advantage since the game is being played in their own stadium.  As such, the Vikings are the only playoff team that could possibly face the Patriots with home field advantage (not that the Chiefs would be intimidated by Foxborough, of course).

 

Still, if it's any consolation prize, then perhaps Brady will be snubbed the League MVP in favor of Todd Gurley, thus lifting the MVP curse off of Brady's shoulders, and will then win yet another heart-breaker for a team looking for their first Lombardi.  I believe the Patriots own the record for defeating the most teams looking for their first Lombardi trophy in the Super Bowl, much less the playoffs (they have defeated the Tennessee Titans, Carolina Panthers, Philadelphia Eagles, Jacksonville Jaguars, LA Chargers, Houston Texans, and Atlanta Falcons, all teams that have yet to win their first Super Bowl to this very day).  The only AFC teams without a Super Bowl win that the Patriots under Tom Brady have yet to face are the Bungles (constantly one-and-done in the Wild Card round); Buffalo Bills (utterly mediocre to bad throughout Brady's entire NFL career up until now), and the Cleveland Browns (whose sole playoff appearance since coming back into the league ended up coming at the expense of...the defending Super Bowl champions themselves no less).

 

Though if you're peeved at all, just so you know that the Steelers, Patriots, and Vikings seem to be the likeliest Super Bowl teams by far, and my rankings among the top three are mostly based on who has the best shots at getting there since they are so close in quality to one another.  The rest of the power rankings are ranked more on their overall talent level regardless of the likelihood of actually making the playoffs, though the bottom four teams in the playoff bracket seem like the teams most likely to be sent packing right away.

 

Don't approve?  Then consider it a three-way draw atop the Power Rankings.

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Fellow, that's U-sain!!  I didn't pick the Bucs (though they were due for a win; especially having lost by only 3 to Lions, Falcons, & Panthers, the weeks before).

 

Log into yo yahoo, and chiggitty re-check your alternative facts.

 

10 hours ago, Mike Gordan said:

5.  New Orleans Saints (11-5):  Other than Bolt, who merely picked them with the hopes of snagging a different pick from the big three at the weekly Pick'em's, no sane person would have predicted the Buccaneers to win over the Saints, especially given how bad that they were.

 

bolt-11-300x200.jpg

Edited by Bolt

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@Bodom, check this math, bruh

 

6 hours ago, Mike Gordan said:

7.  Kansas City Chiefs (10-6):  Well, it only took you this long to finally consistently win.  Andy Reid decided to forfeit play calling duties on offense to his coordinators, trusting them to do their job after a dominant 5-0 start gave rise to a dreadful 6-5 revelation.

 

They still lost in a high-scoring frenzy in what would ultimately be the Jets' final regular season win of the year.  But other than that, they found their groove and won back-to-back games against the Raiders and Chargers before sealing up the division crown against the Dolphins.  Like the Jaguars, the Chiefs are probably one of three of four teams with a realistic shot at defeating the Patriots since the Chiefs seem to match up well against them.  Unfortunately, unless Jacksonville eliminates the Steelers for them, that's probably going to be as far as they will go when it comes to reaching the Super Bowl.  At least the Chiefs would have some pretty entertaining Super Bowl stories with a couple of the big contenders (looking at you, Philadelphia and Minnesota).

 

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Let me break it down.  The Chiefs won their first 5 games; they then went 1-5 BEFORE Andy Reid decided to forfeit playcalling duties to his offensive coordinator.  After their first game doing so, even though the Chiefs' offense suddenly awakened from a deep slumber, they still lost in a high-scoring slugfest against the Jets.  But otherwise, they found their grove back and won their next three games to clinch the division.

 

In other words, 5-0; then 6-5 before surrendering playcalling duties; then they lost again; and then they won three times before winning a meaningless season finale (which I did not even mention because it was nothing more than a bonus if anything; they were resting their starters and trying out rookie QB prospect Patrick Mahomes).


Add all that together, and you have 10-6.

 

You were right about one thing, Bolt--it was TecmoSuperFan that picked the Bucs to win last week.  Goes to show what happens when you try to predict these things based entirely on memory.

Edited by Mike Gordan

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31 minutes ago, Mike Gordan said:

Let me break it down.  The Chiefs won their first 5 games; they then went 1-5 BEFORE Andy Reid decided to forfeit playcalling duties to his offensive coordinator.  After their first game doing so, even though the Chiefs' offense suddenly awakened from a deep slumber, they still lost in a high-scoring slugfest against the Jets.  But otherwise, they found their grove back and won their next three games to clinch the division.

 

In other words, 5-0; then 6-5 before surrendering playcalling duties; then they lost again; and then they won three times

 

I follow what you're saying, now

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Since the concept of updating Power Rankings in the middle of the postseason is somewhat fraught to say the least (like, for example, in the NFC vs. AFC--even though the Rams and Panthers both lost in the Wild Card round, I'd still rank them ahead of teams like the Eagles, who didn't play at all, or the Titans, who did play and win), I will be skipping over the Power Rankings until the ending of the season.  In the mean time, I'm probably am going to do something else instead.  Like, how about I do all the Power Rankings for ALL the NFL quarterbacks?  The rules are simple:  Only the best quarterbacks in a team gets represented, regardless of how many games they may have started for said team.  So with that said, let's get started:

 

1.  Tom Brady (New England Patriots):  Even though he is already getting on in age (he is 40 after all), I think it's fair to say that until said age actually kills his team's playoff hopes and aspirations, he should still be looked upon as the best quarterback in the NFL altogether.  He is one of only two players to have won 5 Super Bowl rings, and even if you consider all the media reports concerning the growing friction between Brady, Belichick, and Kraft to be bullshit (personally, since we're talking about mainstream media, always suspect it's authenticity since the 99% of all our journalists are corrupt, hypocritical, and compulsive liars), the fact remains that it clearly looks like this will be the Patriots final run for a Super Bowl in what could very well be a long time.  I at least believe that having to trade away Jimmy G must have been very painful for Belichick since he clearly saw the guy as the Patriot's future and now must draft and develop another quarterback.  At least this year's draft class is pretty stacked.

 

2.  Aaron Rodgers (Green Bay Packers):  We've pretty much witnessed just how easily the Packers fell apart following Aaron Rodger's injury, and that was in spite a 4-1 cushion Rodgers had established for said team, and in spite a fairly decent defensive unit.  They lost 8 of 11 and failed to make the playoffs altogether.  And it's looking pretty clear that the Packers are running out of time to help Rodgers win a second Super Bowl ring as well.  I suppose the next season or two may very well be their last chances of actually helping him.  Good thing they took care of business when they had the chance back in 2010.

 

3.  Drew Brees (New Orleans Saints):  Throughout most of 2017, Drew Brees has largely taken a back seat in favor of his duo of running backs and only really needed to step in when their one-two punch rushing attack was inefficient.  Still, even without much production from his runningbacks, Brees is in prime position to possibly help win the Saints their second Super Bowl in franchise history, provided they get past the Vikings first.  Even as he is just about to turn 39 shortly before Super Bowl LII, it is also very likely that he'll overtake Peyton Manning's passing record sometime next season.  He only needs about 1000 or so more yards in the air in order to break the record, after all.  God, what a beast!  Just how he's never been named League MVP is beyond me.

4.  Russell Wilson (Seattle Seahawks):  Yes, in spite not making the playoffs for the first time in his career, he was pretty much the only reason why the Seahawks even lasted as long as he did in playoff contention, even as the Legion of Boom is aging badly, has become corrupted by their newfound infamy and became a bunch of obnoxious SJW's, and were dropping like flies due to injuries just as they reach the point where they'd just about to eat up all of Seattle's capspace, there was Russell Wilson single-handedly carrying his team to week in and week out.  Unfortunately, that offensive line is the main reason why the Seahawks kept losing to inferior opponents, even before those injuries started to take their toll on that secondary.  Fortunately for him, Russell Wilson didn't die due to that leaky offense.  If not for the fact that both Carson Palmer and Bruce Arians decided to retire after their season ended, I'd say the Seahawks would have found themselves landing face-first into the basement.

 

5.  Carson Wentz (Philadelphia Eagles):  The Eagles have to be thanking the Rams for selecting Goff over Wentz, in spite both posting stellar second seasons and vastly improving rather bad rookie seasons.  Before Wentz tore his ACL, he was pretty much the frontrunner for League MVP by a landslide, even over Tom Brady and Todd Gurley.  As the MVP award never really goes to season-ending injuries, I'm gonna say, without Wentz, this team never would have won their division, much less set up an 11-2 cushion to help his team set the table for homefield advantage.  Best of luck heading into next season, Wentz.

 

6.  Matt Ryan (Atlanta Falcons):  Right now, Matt Ryan may very well be the best quarterback without a Super Bowl ring (if nothing else but due to how badly they blew it last year).  The team's offense has taken a step back, but as a trade off, they at least improved their defense astronomically from the year before, and their run attack is getting more reps.  Personally, the Falcons have a better shot at actually winning the Super Bowl now that they need to grind out their victories and secure their wins late in the 4th quarter rather than amassing leads by multiple scores only to throw it all away.  They just need to get past the Eagles, and then either the Saints or Vikings, and they'll be back.  At least they have a good precedent of the 6th seed winning the big game.

 

7.  Ben Roethlisberger (Pittsburgh Steelers):  Perhaps the biggest reason why I do not include that many AFC quarterbacks in my power rankings is because the vast majority of the good ones now are playing in the NFC, whereas the vast majority of the AFC quarterbacks are either injured, mediocre, or downright awful.  Including the rest of the AFC playoff teams.  Big Ben may have started off mediocre with a few shards of brilliance (think Super Bowl XLIII), but ever since the old guard that made up the Steel Curtain were forced to retire, the Steelers rebuilt and refocused the team from a defensive-oriented squad to an offensive juggernaut.  Seriously, Big Ben's statistical records since 2014 have skyrocketed thanks to all the weapons that he has, and actually looks like somebody who will for sure become a first round ballot hall of famer (provided of course he doesn't retire right alongside another GOAT like Brady, Brees or Rodgers among others).

 

8.  Philip Rivers (LA Chargers):  The sad reality is that Rivers is perhaps the third best quarterback in the AFC, and it's not even close.  And yet unless he and his team actually gets it done next year, he may very well go down in history as the single greatest NFL quarterback never to even play in the big game, right alongside other legends like Warren Moon, Randall Cunningham, or fellow Charger legend Dan Fouts.  That's too bad, because of all the potential playoff contenders from the AFC that were in the playoff hunt until the very end, the Chargers were the team that should have gotten in before anybody else.  Too bad because of your lousy kicker at the beginning of the season, you had to start 0-4.  Flip any one of those games, and we'd be seeing them in the playoffs right now as a Wild Card team.  Fuck you, Spanos for firing Marty Schottenheimer following a 14-2 season.

9.  Cam Newton (Carolina Panthers):  Even though I am not the biggest fan of Cam Newton--his personality is rather off-putting, especially when he loses, I will at least admit that he is one hell of an athlete, and is by far the best player the Panthers have right now.  It's just a shame that due to some behind-the-scenes and front-office issues, whoever ends up purchasing the team is probably going to fuck Cam and the rest of the organization over because the sexual predator scandals echoing all across America has suddenly mutated into a cancer that's gonna have very serious repercussions down the line--particularly when we start to have "victims" lying through their teeth for the sake of attention, fame, and perhaps even power.  Still, even with the hardest regular season schedule in the entire league (I checked), they were still able to survive and thrive.  Unfortunately, their Achilles heel was a resurgent New Orleans Saints team.  They probably only have about one more chance to compete for a Super Bowl championship before doomsday inevitably comes for them.

 

10.  Matthew Stafford (Detroit Lions):  It was ultimately a tough call between him and Kirk Cousins for this spot, and ultimately, I went with Stafford.  If nothing else, the man pretty much single-handedly brought the Lions back from the brink following a disastrous 0-16 season that was the culmination of the epic disaster that was Matt Millen--who may never ultimately be enshrined in the Pro-Football Hall of Fame as a player due to his tenure as CEO and GM of the organization.  Perhaps with the right coaching staff and the right draft picks and free agency signings could this team possibly compete for a Super Bowl title.  It's pretty clear that that will be Stafford's end goal, and he is clearly hungry.  If only the refs didn't fuck him and his team over on the final play of the game against the Falcons earlier in the season.

 

11.  Kirk Cousins (Washington Redskins):  Again, it was a pretty tough toss-up between him and Stafford.  Similar to Russell Wilson, injuries across the board for this team was pretty much the reason Cousins was forced to carry this team on his back, but to a meager 7-9 season.  Considering that the Redskins were projected to be much worse off than that, consider them an over-achieving team overall because of him.  Now watch as the Redskins dump him on the side of the road, and the Denver Broncos ultimately kill any hope they have at actually succeeding because they are so tied up in salary cap hell thanks to Von Miller and Demaryus Thomas receiving hefty contract extensions, only for them to immediately underachieve upon signing them.

 

12.  Alex Smith (Kansas City Chiefs):  Perhaps had it not been for Jim Harbaugh's preference for Colin Kaepernick over Alex Smith, we might have ended up seeing Smith as a possible Super Bowl champion and future Hall of Famer alongside fellow quarterback classmate Aaron Rodgers.  Alas, Smith got fucked over, and now Andy Reid is continuing the tradition of playoff futility for the Kansas City Chiefs that has plagued the team since winning Super Bowl IV (at least the Jets made the AFC Championship on four separate occasions since the merger).  And from here on out, things get pretty murky as we near towards the bottom.

 

13.  Derek Carr (Oakland Raiders):  Honestly, depending on how the Jon Gruden hire pans out, the Raiders might actually improve considerably.  Then again, considering the king's ransom they had to pay just to get him back, this may honestly come to backfire on them big time as the Raiders choke on salary cap space yet again.  Honestly, the Raiders probably have the biggest opportunity of all the playoff teams from the year before to have a bounce back, right alongside another team provided they stay healthy.  If only their defense didn't royally suck ass.

 

14.  Deshaun Watson (Houston Texans):  I'm pretty much ranking this guy as high as he is considering that until he too snapped his knees and was officially placed on IR, the Texans were a force to be reckon with offensively, because Watson was that much of a beast.  Too bad it didn't last, or else I would have considered him a top ten candidate.  Of all the playoff teams from the year before to miss the playoffs, this one I think will have the single biggest turnaround, provided, obviously, that they do not lose every single solitary player worth a damn due to IR.  God, that was brutal.

 

15.  Andy Dalton (Cincinnati Bengals):  I pretty much make fun of the Bungles for constantly fucking up, especially in the playoffs, since that's far more depressing than the futility of the Chiefs or Lions.  At least the Chiefs actually won a playoff game a couple years ago, and at least neither team were eliminated in the wild card round for 5 years straight.  Heck, they've actually gone through quite a few head coaches between 2003 and now--which is the entire timeframe that Marvin Lewis remained head coach.  And now we have to watch as that dipshit of an owner, Mike Brown, decides that it is of the best interest of the organization to keep an undisciplined head coach in Lewis around instead of finding an alternative option, and thus continue to waste away Dalton's career.

 

16.  Eli Manning (New York Giants):  In spite the absolute worst regular season of Eli Manning's career, next to none of it was entirely his fault.  Manning's strengths were never really that of a quarterback that could carry the team on his shoulders so much as it was to remain perfectly calm even under duress.  Everything from a dipshit head coach and GM fucking him over the past couple of seasons, to an offensive line so putrid it makes the Seahawks' O-line look like the Hogs by comparison, to a Week 5 matchup that saw their entire receiving core utterly wiped out in a single game and placed on IR (and keep in mind that they were an insanely talented group of guys).  But the fact remains, Eli remains one of literally a dozen quarterbacks to win multiple Super Bowls, and he did so besting Tom Brady and the Patriots as heavy underdogs...twice (including 18-1).  So in that sense, he probably should rate higher.  But considering that this is a team game, and many of the other quarterbacks ranked higher than Eli have either won consistently or were carrying their teams on their shoulders even in moments of futility (looking at you, Andy Dalton, Matthew Stafford, Kirk Cousins, and Alex Smith), I figured that number 16 is perfect for them.

 

17.  Joe Flacco (Baltimore Ravens):  Similar to the Giants, except he never had a season quite as bad as Eli.  Rather, he has been consistently mediocre and throughout the first half of his career, was pretty much coasting off the success of Ray Lewis and the Ravens defense, whom much of the core have retired following Super Bowl XLVII, which was Joe Flacco's shinining moment in the spotlight.  He's pretty much this generation's version of Phil Simms--talented enough to make it into the Hall of Fame, but perceived to be too mediocre to ever actually get there.  And for this Power Ranking, I'm pretty much going to jump the gun and say that, yes, alongside Eli, Joe Flacco is pretty average.  At least he's superior in every way but style to Colin Kaepernick.  So in essence, I've all but confirmed that there are at least 17 different quarterbacks that are better than Kaepernick.  And no, playing in the Super Bowl isn't proof to the contrary to my statements.  Otherwise, Trent Dilfer would be perceived as superior to Dan Foutes, and Rex Grossman would be superior to Philip Rivers.

 

18.  Dak Prescott (Dallas Cowboys):  It is fairly interesting that I have decided to rate this guy as low as he is, but the truth is, Prescott is a terrific leader for that Cowboys squad, but the heart and soul of this team has always been the running game.  The proof of that was when Ezekiel Elliot was suspended for a ridiculous amount of time, particularly during the most grueling part of the season, and they ended up losing three games straight.  On top of that, this is merely Dak Prescott's second season as a starter too, so there's much more development to be had here.  Carson Wentz and Deshaun Watson are all similarly work-in-progress quarterbacks as well, but they at least demonstrated monstrous talents and potential right out of the gate, and had consistently done so until their season-ending injuries.  Prescott has yet to develop into that kind of quarterback that can carry the team on his shoulders, particularly when the running game ultimately proves ineffective.

 

19.  Jimmy Garopollo (San Francisco 49ers):  In 7 starts, Jimmy G has won every, single one of his games.  If he leads his team to an additional 9 straight games to overtake Big Ben for longest winning streak to begin a career, then not only would he single-handedly turn a franchise around that was looking to rival the Cleveland Browns for most inept football franchise in all of sports all the way back to playoff contention overnight.  They were 1-10 with that one win coming against the Giants of all teams, and then Jimmy G. finally gets his start, and wins out and salvages a much more respectable 6-10 record.  In many ways, this kind of reminds me of what happened to the Panthers back in 2012 following a 2-8 start where they looked like one of the absolute worst teams in the entire league--they ultimately won 5 of 6 to close out the season, with their lone loss during that time period coming against the Denver Broncos.  Mark my words that the 49ers will be contenders next year.  The reason why he rates so low is because we do not yet know for certain if he will continue his epic streak and fully break the glass ceiling to become playoff contenders as of yet.  After all, the Seahawks are still there; the Rams have reemerged; and they're getting paired up with the NFC North all for good measure.  But at least they're still playing the Bucs, Giants, Broncos, and now retirement home Cardinals.

 

20.  Jared Goff (LA Rams):  I think the change in coaching philosophy from Jeff Fischer to Sean McVay, alongside the dual threat of runningback Todd Gurley were the primary reasons why Jared Goff went from looking like an all-time quarterback bust to a possible rival-to-be with Carson Wentz and the Eagles.  Especially since the latter team may want payback against the Rams for all but killing their Super Bowl aspirations with the season-ending injury to their best player.  And with the Wild Card round at home against the Falcons, we pretty much witnessed a team that couldn't do much of jack shit with Gurley shut down by a stout run defense against the Falcons, and Goff being forced to carry the team on his shoulders because the Falcons were not only winning big, but were dominating time of possession.  Maybe he gets better, but similar to Dak Prescott, it's hard to tell if Goff can really carry the work load from time to time.  At least we saw Dak Prescott winning games without Zeke.  But it's pretty clear to me that the Rams all but live and die on the ground rather than in the air.

 

21.  Marcus Mariota (Tennessee Titans):  And here, we get to the really mediocre.  And I probably would have rated him much higher had he not digressed so significantly.  We should probably blame the coaching staff, who is perhaps one of the least lively or creative I have ever seen.  At least there's a modicum of aggressiveness from coach Mularkey.  Still, that deflected pass that Mariota ended up catching and then running it in for a touchdown is a pretty surreal moment--a similar moment occurred on the Jets side, except Bryce Petty attempted a forward pass afterwards, lol.  It's just a shame that however talented he might actually be, he's never really had a competent head coach that could actually help him and his team truly thrive as a franchise.  Even if the Patriots and Steelers both end up falling off a cliff next season, it is hard to imagine the Titans overtaking the Texans and Jaguars for playoff spots, much less keeping up with teams like the Ravens, Bungles, Chargers, Chiefs, Raiders, and Bills going forward.

 

22.  Case Keenum (Minnesota Vikings):  What do you mean he ranks this low?  Well, you see, Case Keenum is a journeyman quarterback.  He's mostly played backup to Sam Bradford and Nick Foles over at the Rams, and more often than not ended up as the starting quarterback either due to poor play or injury.  He was the starting quarterback for much of the 2016 season, and while the Rams were dominant enough to win 4 games with him, that's pretty much where the good stops.  Ryan Fitzpatrick had a career season with the Jets back in 2015, and I don't rate him particularly high as a quarterback.  However, the fact of the matter is, as a starter in relief of Sam Bradford, Case Keenum is 12-3, and if not for his status as a journeyman quarterback, would be an MVP candidate (he is at best, a dark horse).  At the very least, he is perhaps the single best journeyman quarterback in the entire NFL at this point.  For one thing, he is at least pretty smart.  Now the question remains if he can actually carry his team to the Super Bowl.

 

23.  Jay Cutler (Miami Dolphins):  Talk about a most wasted potential for what is by any other measures the most physically perfect specimen ever for a quarterback.  I know he's diabetic and takes prescribed medicine to treat it, but every photo you see of the guy presents us of a guy who looks completely lost and disinterested in what is going on.  Perhaps the worst possible personality type you can possibly have for a quarterback is antisocial, because even while he's losing, he seems completely disinterested in the fact that he continues to fuck up.  At least Eli Manning never looks phased by his moment because he is constantly calm and collected, even under extreme duress.  Jay Cutler never even looks like a guy who knows what the hell is going on and merely shrugs off every moment of his life.  Unless he wins a big game, but that's pretty rare--holy, shit!  He actually defeated the two defending conference champions and the last two Super Bowl champions this year?  Yeah, the main reason why he isn't rated any lower than this is because not only is he the most physically gifted specimen, but once every blue moon, he actually looks like a contender for greatest player of all time.  The fact that he's lasted this long with this Jekyll/Hyde persona of all-time great and all-time bust (leaning more towards the latter) simultaneously is the main reason why he isn't a bottom 5 quarterback.  Only three head coaches ever got anything close to consistent out of him too--Mike Shanahan, Lovie Smith, and Adam Gase.  And of those three, Lovie Smith was the only guy with a winning record with him at quarterback.  That's all that needs to be said.

 

24.  Tyrod Taylor (Buffalo Bills):  Through three seasons, Tyrod Taylor has amassed an average record of 8-8 during the regular season, and has lost his first ever postseason appearance.  He's definitely one of the better players on that squad, but considering the fact that pretty much this team's entire offense was LeSean McCoy (so much so that it's surprising that nobody is pegging him as an MVP candidate at all) makes this revelation rather startling.  Maybe next year, he'll finally begin to make strides as the Bills overtake the Patriots for the AFC East crown for the first time in over 2 decades (which was also the last time the team won a playoff game, btw).  But at present, he has yet to demonstrate himself as anything other than the mere essence of mediocrity.

 

25.  Blake Bortles (Jacksonville Jaguars):  And yes, I am rating this guy even lower than the other QB he just defeated, even though Bortles literally carried this team on his shoulders for pretty much the team's entire offensive yards all by himself.  To the point that he score the game's only touchdown in what was otherwise a defensive slugfest and field position battle all throughout.  The Jaguars do have the potential to be a Super Bowl dark horse to be sure, but they still have to get past Pittsburgh and New England.  Their defense is definitely built to kill Tom Brady and punish a Steelers squad who may or may not be missing Antonio Brown.  But they will have to go on the road to play each of them, and Blake Bortles is still very much an unreliable quarterback.  All it takes is for Blake Bortles to make one too many careless mistakes, and the Jaguars' second-best overall defense goes capote.  He has that much in common with Rex Grossman.  Then again, considering the fact that the previous three seasons as a Jaguar were under a completely worthless Participation-Trophy-Award-Winning head coach, it's no wonder Bortles can become such an unreliable mess from time to time.

 

26.  Jameis Winston (Tampa Bay Buccaneers):  I'm pretty much giving him the benefit of the doubt that the main reason his team was so bad was because the schedule was overwhelming, and playing 16 consecutive games made it all the worse.  After all, they were playing in a division that sent three teams to the playoffs, and were matched up against the Bills, Patriots, Vikings, and Lions, who were all playoff contenders late into the season.  Maybe with any luck, the Saints and Panthers fall off a cliff after this season, and the Buccaneers have an easier road back to the playoffs as a result.  Unfortunately, they will be matched up with the NFC East and AFC North, and will additionally be required to play the Bears and 49ers as well.  Then again, given the instability of the NFC East, how shit the Browns are, and the distinct possibility of the Steelers playoff run nearing an end, all this just might prove enough to get the Bucs over the hump heading into next season.  However, Jameis Winston has yet to demonstrate that he can indeed be an NFL superstar, in spite being the best quarterback the Bucs ever had since Doug Williams.

 

27.  Mitchell Trubisky (Chicago Bears):  After this moment, we're gonna get into some real shit in the QB position.  They only get worse from here on out, folks.  Trubisky at least was a rookie quarterback that had no help from a worthless hands-off hanger-on for a head coach in John Fox or the McCaskey clan led by owner Virginia.  Once he got the starting job though, we were shown some promise from this team going forward.  Depending on who their next head coach may happen to be, who knows if the Bears will become relevant again other than yet another bottom-feeder.  At least they were the best of the worst by season's end.  Either way, Trubisky should hopefully improve from here.

 

28.  Jacoby Brissett (Indianapolis Colts):  From here on out, we are pretty much slushing through a river of shit.  Honestly, if I were simply going by best quarterbacks each team has had this season, I would have gone with Andrew Luck and presumably place him in the top 10 by default.  But he didn't play.  So now I am forced to bring you a quarterback that would have been decent if not for the fact that his only four wins as a quarterback for the Indianapolis Colts all came against some of the worst teams in the entire NFL at the moment they were played--the Cleveland Browns, San Francisco 49ers, and twice against the Texans.  What makes it even worse was that they barely even won those four games anyways.  Everywhere else they played, they found themselves mercilessly obliterated, including twice to a Titans squad that constantly made it harder on themselves than they had any right to.  Much of the shit wasn't entirely Brissett's fault, but let's be honest; he didn't exactly do this team much favor in Andrew Luck's absence, so much so that one would have to wonder if they might dump Luck off and draft another rookie quarterback.  If that happens, maybe the Broncos should pass up Kirk Cousins for an Andrew Luck with far less value due to his injury history.  Maybe then, he would be rewarded with a Hall of Fame resume alongside fellow top round draft picks John Elway and Peyton Manning, and be able to close out his career hoisting a Lombardi trophy.  But Jacoby Brissett?  You're gonna grow up to become a Journeyman quarterback.  Have fun!

 

29.  Josh McCown (New York Jets):  Josh McCown pretty much had his second best season as a starter right behind his 2013 season with the Bears (in relief of Jay Cutler).  Yet another veteran journeyman who is probably on the verge of retiring since he is one of the oldest active quarterbacks in the NFL right alongside Tom Brady and Drew Brees.  Yes, a pair of 5-win seasons as a starter are about as good as Josh McCown has ever been, so we know full well how much he sucked.  Fortunately this time, the reason why McCown's season ended with only 5 wins was because he eventually got hurt and was lost for the season--right as they were on the verge of being eliminated from playoff contention, too.  But other than that, this guy has been consistently terrible everywhere he's been.  And yet, there are at least three candidates that are even worse.

 

30.  DeShone Kizer (Cleveland Browns):  Yeah, surprisingly, the best quarterback the Browns had all season long during their quest for 0-16 wasn't even the worst quarterback in the league this year.  He was often confident, poised, and driven to win in every game.  He may have been a rookie, but the problem with the team were literally everything else around him.  The coaching staff; the offensive line; his receivers and runningbacks not understanding the concept of catching, gripping and securing the ball; and the utter lack of discipline from what could possibly turn up to be the absolute worst head coach in NFL history, who will still be around for yet another season.  Because a guy that found a way to digress from 1-15 is the PERFECT candidate to rebuild your entire franchise from the ground up.  The worst part about it is, the Browns are probably going to blame Kizer for his failings, ruin the career of yet another rookie quarterback prospect, and throw DeShone Kizer under the bus.  And since his name will forever be tainted by 0-16 in spite being perhaps the closest thing to a good player that franchise has had all season long, nobody will be willing to ever give him a chance as a starting quarterback.  EVER!

 

The other reason why DeShone Kizer isn't the worst NFL quarterback was because believe it or not, there are two other NFL franchises with a far worse quarterback situation than even the Browns.  The Browns were just an up-and-down horribly run organization.  But here were the worst quarterbacks in the entire league:

 

31.  Trevor Simien (Denver Broncos):  The only reason why I am even picking this guy over Brock Osweiller was because Simien ultimately had an overwhelming number of starts compared to Osweiller, and actually won four games as a starting quarterback.  Technically five, but Osweiller won that fifth game in relief of Simien after the latter got hurt and was placed on IR.  Osweiller was the better quarterback and is perhaps the only one out of three guys that included Paxton Lynch and Trevor Simien that isn't constantly getting beat up and injured, and the only quarterback that still has his confidence.  What's worse is the fact that Vance Joseph is turning out to be a disastrous hire to succeed Gary Kubiak and hopefully rebuild a Super Bowl contender.  Even compared to a number of other organizations that are in dire need of a starting quarterback, the Broncos completely suck!  At least teams like the Jets and Browns stuck with their guy for a whole season as much as possible, and in the case of the Jets, actually greatly overachieved with him in spite having the least amount of talent across the board of any team in the league this year.  The Broncos started off 3-1, lost to the Giants, and then lost their next seven straight, including against several teams we had no business losing to, much less as badly as we did.  I would like to pick Osweiller and rank this team just a little higher, but considering that he was only a part of 1 1/2 games if even that, he barely was much of a factor at all.  I'll say hold on to him, trade Simien and Lynch to other teams, and perhaps even throw in Von Miller and Demaryus Thomas in order to free up some of that cap space.  Because we are simply terrible at this point!

 

32.  Arizona Cardinals QB's:  Technically, the honor probably should go to Blaine Gabbert.  If nothing else, he was the only quarterback all year to lead his team to victory against two playoff teams.  Carson Palmer finds himself in a similar position to Peyton Manning and only able to win against against pathetic cesspools in the Colts and pre-Jimmy G. 49ers.  Then Carson Palmer got hurt and was lost for the season, forcing Drew Stantion, a decent backup for the Cardinals to take over.  He won only one game before he too met with a similar end.  Then Blaine Gabbert came in, struggled mightily because he's one of the biggest draft busts of the entire decade (for reasons that are far beyond questionable since even in college, he sucked ass), and then pulled three victories out of his ass, including two against fellow playoff teams Jacksonville Jaguars and Tennessee Titans.  Then Drew Stanton came back for the season finale, went to Seattle, and with a little help from a former Vikings kicker that had his confidence shattered following a missed gimmie field goal in a playoff game two years ago, blew it yet again, ending the Seahawk's playoff dreams, and closing the Cardinals' season with a wimper.  As I said earlier, both Carson Palmer and Bruce Arians have decided to retire, and both Drew Stanton and Blaine Gabbert are entering their contract year.  At this point, the Cardinals are the only NFL team in the league that literally has nobody at quarterback.  DeShone Kizer may have oversaw 0-16; Josh McCown may have had one of the absolute career records ever for a longtime quarterback; and the Broncos' quarterback situation was so godawful that we ended up starting everybody regardless of their health, skills or confidence levels; but the Cardinals are the only NFL team moving forward that literally has nobody going forward, and nobody to oversee an extensive rebuilding project.  The Cardinals are the most fucked organization in the entire league right alongside the Cleveland Browns as far as going forward is concerned.  And if Adrien Peterson and Larry Fitzgerald show themselves out as well, buh-bye!

 

Maybe next week, I will consider doing a Power Ranking for every team who is in greatest need to least need of a quarterback going forward.

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Okay, let me simplify the list, just giving out the names:

 

1.  Tom Brady (New England Patriots)
2.  Aaron Rodgers (Green Bay Packers)
3.  Drew Brees (New Orleans Saints)

4.  Russell Wilson (Seattle Seahawks)

5.  Carson Wentz (Philadelphia Eagles)

6.  Matt Ryan (Atlanta Falcons)

7.  Ben Roethlisberger (Pittsburgh Steelers)

8.  Philip Rivers (LA Chargers)
9.  Cam Newton (Carolina Panthers)
10.  Matthew Stafford (Detroit Lions)
11.  Kirk Cousins (Washington Redskins)

12.  Alex Smith (Kansas City Chiefs)

13.  Derek Carr (Oakland Raiders)
14.  Deshaun Watson (Houston Texans)

15.  Andy Dalton (Cincinnati Bengals)

16.  Eli Manning (New York Giants)

17.  Joe Flacco (Baltimore Ravens)

18.  Dak Prescott (Dallas Cowboys)

19.  Jimmy Garoppolo (San Francisco 49ers)

20.  Jared Goff (LA Rams)

21.  Marcus Mariota (Tennessee Titans)

22.  Case Keenum (Minnesota Vikings)

23.  Jay Cutler (Miami Dolphins)

24.  Tyrod Taylor (Buffalo Bills)

25.  Blake Bortles (Jacksonville Jaguars)

26.  Jameis Winston (Tampa Bay Buccaneers)

27.  Mitchell Trubisky (Chicago Bears)

28.  Jacoby Brissett (Indianapolis Colts)

29.  Josh McCown (New York Jets)
30.  DeShone Kizer (Cleveland Browns)
31.  Trevor Simien (Denver Broncos)--Brock Osweiller's technically better, even though all he did was relieve Simien for the 5th win of the season

32.  An Arizona Cardinals QB...but who's left to talk about?  Carson Palmer's gone, and Drew Stanton and Blaine Gabbert, presumably, will soon follow.

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Now, time for my coaches power rankings.  This time, I'm just going to list the names, and if anybody disagrees with me, then explain.  A ton of these coaches seem to be smack-dab in the middle, anyways.  So here we go:

 

1.  Bill Belichick (New England Patriots)

2.  Sean Payton (New Orleans Saints)

3.  Mike Zimmer (Minnesota Vikings)

4.  Doug Pederson (Philadelphia Eagles)

5.  Ron Riviera (Carolina Panthers)

6.  Mike McCarthy (Green Bay Packers)

7.  Doug Marrone (Jacksonville Jaguars)

8.  Mike Tomlin (Pittsburgh Steelers)

9.  Bruce Arians (Arizona Cardinals)

10.  Sean McVay (LA Rams)

11.  Andy Reid (Kansas City Chiefs)

12.  Todd Bowles (New York Jets)

13.  Pete Carroll (Seattle Seahawks)

14.  Dan Quinn (Atlanta Falcons)

15.  John Harbaugh (Baltimore Ravens)

16.  Marvin Lewis (Cincinnati Bengals)

17.  Jason Garrett (Dallas Cowboys)

18.  Adam Gase (Miami Dolphins)

19.  Jay Gruden (Washington Redskins)

20.  Anthony Lynn (LA Chargers)

21.  Sean McDermont (Buffalo Bills)

22.  Kyle Shanahan (San Francisco 49ers)

23.  Bill O'Brien (Houston Texans)

24.  Jim Caldwell (Detroit Lions)

25.  Dirk Koetter (Tampa Bay Buccaneers)

26.  Jack del Rio (Oakland Raiders)

27.  Mike Mularkey (Tennessee Titans)

28.  John Fox (Chicago Bears)

29.  Ben McAdoo (New York Giants)

30.  Vance Joseph (Denver Broncos)

31.  Chuck Pagano (Indianapolis Colts)

32.  Hue Jackson (Cleveland Browns)

 

And if you must know, ordering number's 14 through 22 was a bit of a bitch since they're all well interchangeable.  Ultimately, I decided to rank the rookie head coaches at the bottom of that group of teams simply because they are currently in a wait-and-see-type situation.

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IMO, Tomlin blew that game for PIT by going for the onside kick with over 2 minutes left in the 4th and 2 timeouts.  Easy to play Mr. Hindsight, but I was baffled when they did it. 

 

A rare NFL playoff weekend where all 4 teams that I wanted to win, won.  Should be some intense games next weekend.

 

 

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Well...............................................................My Seahawks & Rams are out, so I'm going with the Vikings!!!!!!!!  Latavius Murray is the best Tailback left in the playoffs plus it's been awhile since MIN has even smelled a Superbowl. They're the classic underdogs.  ^^^To be honest, I'll be happy just as long as the punk a$$ Patriots don't win.

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