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A BIG Seahawks Y2K Welcome to... (anatomy of a trade)

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Coach Kamp was inspired by division rival trade rapist extraordinaire Bo-ldemort upon finally relenting and trading away the one piece they had on defense, original 1st pick made in Kamp's tenure LB Mo Lewis, taken 1.10 overall in 1991. Seeing that Donnell Woolford couldn't stand the underhanded tactics of the Raider organization, started by HOF Coach kidpro and continued by HOS coach Bo-ldemort (S can stand for whatever Hall you like, Shit? Shame? Stalldraft?) and up and retired despite leading the A DB race, and wanting to keep an 81 INT DB in the division, but playing for the good guys, Kamp decided to start approaching the two teams that had the DB his team has needed so desperately.


What ammo did Kamp have at his disposal you might ask? Well, a proclivity to trading away 1st rounders, even to he who shalt not be named, delivered underwhelming results. Finally holding on to 1sts was a way to start. One of those 1sts however was used to acquire the services of one Marv Cook from said Bo-ldermort. The Hawks suffered through a 70% gain AGE yet gained him again and shipped his uncontracted ass off to Motown in exchange for Detroit's 1st and 2nd in 2001.


Other avenues to ammo:

  *  Mo Lewis was able to garner the Hawks a 1st from the Raidahs when packaged with a 3rd.

  *  Hawks acquired Eric Turner from the Steelers a few years back for a 1st round DB and a 1st, 2nd and 3rd, and he's aged accordingly to a 50ms 56int shell of his former 63ms 69INT self

  *  Hawks also acquired Joey Galloway from the Vikings a couple seasons back, moving back from 1.13 to 2.1 in the process. The Vikings lucked out on their rookie roll landing a 56ms Brian Griese (a 10% hit and a QB to throw to Randy Moss).

  *  Finally, the Seahawks had the fortune of landing 1.2 in the lottery when in the 7th slot overall, selecting Brian Urlacher.


There were 2 targets, as the DB in question had to be young, and had to have 75INT or more, and not hit like a feather. First trading forays were made toward one ChaosConfetti, which I just learned is some MtG card for the first time. I think Chaos may need to change his name to Larryson. Caneson. Or maybe Lightning-San. Either way, Jesus said thanks, but no thanks to 4 1st rounders for Sammy Knight, as he would have been left with no better alternative than a 56 56 DB, and did not want to part ways with Knight and his 75INT services.


On to target 2. Sharper. The guy is maxed. Everything I could ever want in a DB. No need to hope I gain him (laughable, I'm terrible at getting INTs, doinkers are us when we are in position as well), he's already there. AND only 25. Now what can I offer. Well I started out with 4 firsts (2001 and 2002 Seahawks, 2001 Lions, 2002 Raiders, as well as Eric Turner as a 56int standin and Joey Galloway, 29 years old in Y2K and 56ms 63 REC, a Viable target for Tom Brady, just acquired by Kweh at 1.1 this year when the Saints star wideout is Az-zahir Akhim, aka Mr Speedy Rockhands (poor man's Graddy). The response: Tempting but no. No defender coming back was a key point.


I was ready to call it and be happy with my plethora of picks when the war room phone starts ringing. Kweh says he made a counter. I look and "gulp" there he is. Sharper is there for the taking. However, Urlacher, my 2nd overall 2000 pick was added to the deal, as well as my young 56 56 44hp WR David Boston AND 2000 2.7. Whoa whoa whoa. Pretty easy decision. Couldn't do that. Sharper is the Ultimate, but thats just too much youth.


Again, I was ready to give it up. Getting a DB was gonna be too costly. More seasons of Suckiness instead of success in the secondary, the Legion of Doomed.


After a while, though, I began to consider adding Urlacher to my side of the agreement puzzle and giving it one more go. Basically Five 1st rounders and Galloway and Turner for the Prize. Sent the deal (forgot to add Sharper to it, lol) and an AIM msg and went about cleaning the house, ready to accept whatever fate I was dealt. Sharper or no Sharper.


Well, after some deliberation Kweh agreed and even decided to let me have Sharper for nothing :-)


Now the denizens of Seattle Tacoma proper are flipping out about being able to cheer on a REAL LIVE DB. If Sharper somehow retires because I can't get into the top 5 and rolls a 1 or 2, you will need only to search under the Tacoma Narrows bridge for that will be where I will jump.


Now, a brief biography of Darren Sharper, the man, the WTFC freak.


Drafted 1st overall by the Saints in 1997, Sharper has actually found his services tied to now 4 different organizations in his short 3 year career. The Saints shipped his rights to the Cardinals and coach Junior along with a 2nd rounder (turned into Luke Petitgout 38 50 OL) to move down to 1.5 (Sam Madison, epic DB busto 50 50) and get a 1st (1998 1.18 Az Akhim and a 4th round 75HP 25MS RB)


Sharper  hit his 10% high roll (69ms 69HP 75INT) and played for Arizona before being shipped off to the Chiefs after 1997 in a blockbuster where Regulator got Sharper and Jake Plummer while Junior got DB Jeff Burris and QB Steve Mcnair (soon to be paired with Priest Holmes using a former Seahawk 1st traded to Zona from the Raiders in said Marv Cook trade)


Sharper however, never saw action on the WTFC gridiron for the Chiefs as he was shipped to the Saints in a deal that saw Thurmal land in KC. Sharper played 2 seasons in New Orleans, the team that originally had his draft rights at 1.1 in 1997, and actually gained on a 20% roll hitting 10 JACKPOT HELLO 81 INT!


Now he's in Seattle, after the Hawks traded 2 arms, a leg and their right testicle to get him. If Sharper gets a JJ INT on Bo-ldemort's trade rape bounty QB Donovan McNabb, me thinks I will need to change my shorts.


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Upon hearing the news of Sharper being traded, Saints fans around the world erupted with anger. When hearing what he was traded for, they collectively went "Oh, ok then."


I'm hoping Galloway will hold out for at least 3 seasons. I'll spend next season manning Urlacher (barring a draft bust), and I've never really been one to MAN an LB successfully (maybe I'll try LB2?), and my secondary leaves a lot to be desired. That being said, Brady should have plenty of shots to some speedy receivers. It's a good time to be a Saint, come 2003 the Saints may be the most feared team in the NFC.

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You are no longer allowed to criticize a trade for being unbalanced ever again.

Can you expound on how this is unbalanced, or at least egregiously so?


My criticisms of your trades are that you usually (not always) give up enough for what you are getting back, usually the top tier first rounders, like a McNabb, etc. When looking at trades, especially ones involving high value guys, like Sharper or top picks, I'm looking to see if both parties bleed.

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Seahawks GM/Coach Kamp has been taking his recommended dose of adderall lately, working feverishly to improve the roster while still maintaining the goal that the more Cowboys/Huskies/LocalBoys added to the roster, the better.


After making the big splash to acquire Darren "Giving the Hawks a" Sharper "Image", the Hawks were relieved to find out that their gamble/decision to trade away the rights to Brian Urlacher paid off when Urlacher hit his lowest MS line of 50.


The Hawks were not done trading though. and despite not being the instigator of many trades, they were involved in a few more deals, and potentially more, depending on the Hustle and Flow of the Y2K offseason.


First up was Odell, interested in some picks (Picks, We don't need no STINKIN' DRAFT PICKS), Odell's Lions sent Seattle the recently aged Tony "I Hate" Banks (13 38 44), Amani "It's Not A" Toomer (38 44 69), Jermaine "Jackson" Newberry (44 56 OL) and former Cowboys LB Jimmie Jones for a couple of 2nds, a 3rd and roster fillers QB Moses Moreno and OL Blake Brockermeyer.


Next, the Hawks saw a guy they wanted late in the draft and the Rams suckered them into a 2 fifths for a 4th deal (love you SUCHY) where one of the fifths  ended up being better than the target, Dez (Bright) White 38 38 44 WR (DUGANS FTW!)


Then the Tonka Tecmo got on the war room horn, looking for an upgrade at K with some DL talent to spare. Bring in Jason (Voorhees) Ferguson, another former Boy, as well as Richard "No Nickname required" Dickson (His KA is 25 but his Uni # is 69!), a Kicker with less then Minimum Atts, for a 4th, a scrub FA DB and Cole Ford, the Hawks kicker of the last few seasons.


This morning, the Hawks' Nest Warroom phone screeched with a trade offer alert. Mattrick "Fear the Beard" Diaz, new owner of the WTFC Dallas Cowboys, had shown interest in rookie Marcus "Town" Washington and Reuben "Foxy" Brown the previous night and he sent an offer over the WTFC INterweb highway, which after some meditation, Kamp had to accept.


Welcoming another former Cowboy to the fold, Al "Shermond?" Singleton, as well as Samari "Rock n" Rolle, a coveted young DB, and James "Kenny" Whalen, a JC for the ages who showed vast improvement as a JC at Kamp Kookamunga from year 1 to year Last, the Hawks said good bye to Foxy Town, while also garnering some much needed Team Integrity in the form of a 2nd, 3rd and 4th.


Are the Hawks done? Time can only tell....

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Hawks just made another trade. I think Vinny would be proud. #tecsystem

Trust me I'm proud to see guys use a system I created. TecSystem works. If you don't believe me ask around. Kidpro used it. I use it all the time and LilLefty used it...


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Trust me I'm proud to see guys use a system I created. TecSystem works. If you don't believe me ask around. Kidpro used it. I use it all the time and LilLefty used it...

Can tecsystem be described in one sentence or two?

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