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Mike Perl Jr

HSTL 20 - Draft Review

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1. segathonsov - Miami Dolphins -

QB Eagles. We could QB Eagles, but there's a 56 ms RB too! The defense is QB Eagles enough, and QB Eagles QB Eagles, LB Kevin Greene! It's hard to mess up the QB Eagles spot too bad.

2. DancingNunchakus - Phoenix Cardinals -

Bo knows this is his offense, and QB Aikman and WR Clark will be keeping their fat mouths shut about wanting the ball more. Bo will give them the rock when Bo feels like it. Maybe Bo wants to run back into his own endzone and talk about himself in the third person if Bo feels like it. You got a problem with that Troy? Bo didn't think so.

3. ryan33fulcher - Chicago Ditkas -

Joe Montana won't have the glamourous targets this year, settling for WR Miller, and just a pair of 44 ms RBs to hand off to. What he will have is a stout defense to rely on, with LBs Bennet and Talley, and DB McMillan patrolling the secondary.

4. kamphuna8 - Dallas Cowboys -

QB Jim Kelly exerts his partial control in the Dallas Cowboys, by removing a finger from the GM each time he attempts to draft a RB. Shirtless and oiled like nubian warriors, WRs Givins, Monk, Perriman tote Kelly around on a raised platform, posing and glaring at his side. A 50 ms 88 hp KR and workable D led by Lippet, make handing off to 38 ms RB a little less painful.

5. ones11fahzu - New Orleans Saints -

Another of the defensive oriented teams. The offense will try to get by with QB Mitchell to Jeffires, and RB Marcus Allen. Face stomper defense led by DB Haddix and LB Lloyd.

6. shinybehiny2477 - Tampa Bay Buccaneers -

Crack baby produced squad. While QB Moon will beat his wife with glee at the prospects of WR Carter, Duper, Byars and Proehl, the rest of the team will cower in fear if bitch doesn't get him a beer. Possibly the worst defense on the ROM with barely a controllable player, and Moon was pissed enough they paid a 44 ms RB instead of another WR. Could be a career year for Bucs opponents.

7. buckfuttor - Pissburgh Stealers -

A balanced looking squad with Barry Sanders and QB Tony Eason'in it on down to Flipper and Vance, this team should produce plenty of points. The defense has a great collection of LBs, but the secondary is filled with holes. Solid effort all around.

8. kujjaquaq - LA Raiders -

We meed again...Mr Andersons. Neal & Ottis form the thunder & lightning backfield, with steady Kenny O Brien taking the snap. LB Brown leads the speedy defense. This is a fine looking team with good value picked up on draft day.

9. luckytool - Detroit Lions -

An offense distilled from pure pimp juice. Bernie Kosar can take it himself, hand off to 56 ms Emmitt, or look for 69 rec WR Clark. If they decide maybe some possessions they're bored of scoring, the defense stacks LBs like benjamins, although the secondary is a little weak. A couple missteps but pretty good work here.

10. BrHomerfu - Houston Oilers -

Here is a surprising squad. In that it is such an incredible piece of crap! I have no idea what was trying to happen here. Presumbly Platoon PC 44 QBs Miller and Fourcade will lead the offense, handing off to platoon RBs 44 ms Fenerty and Mayes. WR Jerry Rice I am guessing will put on a cheerleader outfit, lead the rally cries, form the bottom AND top of the pyramid, and still get back on

to the field to try and catch the inevitable JJ attempts. The defense reveals some of the mystery, as DL Bruce Smith has eaten the cash as well as the GM and the entire team's pre-game buffet. DB Walls will need to make some plays. Overall a strange team from a perhaps bored veteran.

11. eifersucht80 - NY Football Giants

Veteran built team with his classic defense-and-running-team style. Permanent Giant and cocaine addict, LB Taylor leads his usual army of drones. On the offense 56 ms RB Brooks will shoulder the load, perhaps too much, with one of the worst passing attacks on the rom, highlighted by QB Schroeder and WR Brown. A 50 ms 94 HP KR should ease that pain though.

12. damfndrza - Atlanta Falcons

Quality crew. Dual phallic threats QB Peete"r" and WR Willie (Gault) and 50 ms RB Hilliard. DB Woodson and LB O Neal make this a top notch defense.

13. tecmopsycho - Indianapolis Colts

Another one of the "art" teams, refusing to draft offense until every other position was filled. Amazingly the oversight of several owners allows a meager 44 ms RB to become the 'steal of the draft' and a bonafide superstar on an offense that wouldn't even make the replacement strike players team. 44 ms KR and K Lohmiller will certainly be in service this year. The defense of course includes nearly the best set at each position. Will have to see how this mad experiment plays out.

14. invaderstar - Seattle Ospreys

A slick looking bunch, QB Timm "The Snake" Rosenbach has wideout weapons and a big black insurance policy T_T Thurman Thomas. LB Pepper Johnson leads a strong fast set of drones for a capable defense. A satisfactory draft.

15. tadaos - Buffalo Jills

Dan Marino wont know where is bread is buttered with a long list of high REC targets to choose from, led by WR Ellard. Dan had better get well acquainted with these fellows, because the defense is just ghastly. With barely even a controllable player, no INT, and slow drones, this has to be one of the most embarrassing units on the rom. It looks like a poor effort on paper, but can we argue with a superbowl appearance?

16. urlocaltecmoguy - LA Rams

A well rounded offense that will be sure to gain on the ground with RB Humphrey and QB Majkowski, who has several decent weapons but no standout. The defense is fast but lacks any ball hawks, and the DBs will have to settle for making the tackle. A productive draft.

17. blueonewasmybaby- Washington Redskins

Dangerous team with 1-2 punch of RB Butts and QB De Berg to Sharpe will be set up by 50ms/94 hp KR. The defense could be suspect, but the drones are solid enough to win behind playmaker LB Fletcher. Another well put together team from a vet.

18. callmefairf - Mini Solder Vikeens

One of the crappier offenses on the ROM, but at least this one appeared to have a plan. If abysmal QB Hostetler and RB Rozier can squeeze out 20 yards, 50 ms 94 hp KR should guarantee that the vikings can at least average 12 points a game as K Lowery kicks 128 field goals. Defense got the money, DT get the honeys. Every area is stacked here with DB Green and DL Raiders. Questionable strategy but a solid draft.

19. mikeyscull - Philadelphia Eagles

Train wreck of a team all around. Terrible QB Elway was roused from his usual late round slumber and practiced his best 69 PA cheese smile as he was selected in round 2. 50 ms RB Gary and 69 rec WR Reed will do their best to bring the punk back to the funk. The defense is a sea of slowness drowning an island of DB Fulcher. Afterbirth of the Season 20 draft. I'm not sure if it should be stuffed back in the bitch or put in the hazardous waste container. Every position but DB could have been improved.

20. Elway41177 - Denver Broncos

This team was disowned by the owner after he showed no interest in drafting it. It isn't as awful as you would think. There are worse teams on the ROM that are that way on purpose. Could be a fun team, with two 50ms back attack and QB Marc Wilson looking for serviceable WRs Baker and Carrier. DB Sanders will be putting on his fairy suit, anchoring a playable defense.

21. zuirzuir1 - San Diego Chargers

Sexy team, QB Everett is sure to be going vertical to Rison, and RB Byner steadies the ship. A solid defense with all the pieces backs up the other side of the ball.

22. dynastydegeorge - Cincinnati Bengals

This is a team that you just shake your head in disappointment at. QB Phill Simms is primed to start the season when his waddles deflate in disappointment seeing WR Richard Johnson using a walker to go out on routes. RB Albert Bentley laughs all the way to the bank as he is given a fat contract, drafted before remaining 50ms RBs. The defense has a playmaker but overall a poor effort, so much more could have been done here.

23. Regulator88 - Kansas City Chiefs

This is a servicable squad and Vinny will look to dunk and chunk his way with RB Gary Anderson for some solid offense and well balanced defense. No serious missteps in this draft.

24. FootballDefender - San Francisco 49ers

Another fish thrown into the deep end. QB Steve Young has got the glow from being in 'Frisco, and has Drew Hill (R.I.P.) to go to. Unfortunately that's all he's got and he's a little pissed off about it. There was no excuse to not pick up a RB. Conversely, the defense...well, no, the defense sucks too. A poorly built squad that should be taking some serious lumps this year.

25. tecmodell42 - Green Bay Packers

This is a finely balanced squad on offense and defense, with no holes and all the pieces. A smartly drafted team clearly put together by a veteran.

26. keirre1981 - New England Patriots

Wave of mutilation offense. Dave Krieg is looking at a max 56 rec target? 44 max speed RB? OL will hold up at least. Defense is decent with some playmakers.

27. gonickmontana5 - NY Jets

2 Back attack? Get back jack! Andre ware in the shack tote so many rocks need a luggage rack. Yea. And the OL to clear the way. The defense is snarling in your face with max HP LB Singletary and max INT Carrier across the line. Speaking of Carrier, some drafting magic and solid sense built this team.

28. techmobile89 - Cleveland Browns

Oh. My. God. What kind of piece of shit is this? Does this guy even know what the ratings do? BJ Tolliver in the 3rd?? WHY GOD! Oh wait, to run burn routes right? . . . . starting WRs 50,44 max. FUCK ME!!! RBs...38 max. Vai Sikahema??...44 RS is not good! OL...what a hot mess. Oh god let's look at defense at least. Well there's Browner and some decent drones. too many mistakes to list...a 56ms or 50ms RB at least could have been had in the 3rd, and BJ in the 4th if not the 7th or 8th, leaving more room to draft better WRs, and OL, and ...a21%235623^@#^#^[email protected]! myfookinheadexplodd

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