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Simulation for the Conference Championships


Big Red

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I just set up COM vs. COM and ran the simulations, piss wickets.

I ate some waffles with country ham and fried eggs and coffee this morning while watching this game...

CLE(BAL) vs. NE- I put in Sammy Martin for Fryar as the Wes Welker, as Dykes was more of a Deion Branch. I had Toi Cook as the Aaron Hernandez and Seivers as Gronkowski, setting them up BOTH in similar routes. The Patriots got on the board first on a Seivers TD catch, and the Browns clawed their way to a 7-6 deficit at the end of the first half.

Ozzie Newsome, the current GM for the Ravens, caught a decisive 35 yard pass late in the third quarter to set up a 7 yard QB Browns-to-Metcalf TD pass, giving the Browns the lead. The Browns defense stiffened in the 4th and got a 12 yard TD run from Mack (Ray Rice). The final score- Browns (Ravens) 20, Patriots 7.

at this point I took a giant, housecleaner dump while reading the Tecmo Super Bowl instructon booklet and did some yoga and meditation before setting up the NFC title game.

NYG vs. SF Obviously I put in Jamie Williams for Brent Jones to have a black TE, and I had to put in Hostetler since he's goofy-looking like Manning, and I put in Young since he's closer to Smith than Montana. This game was BRUTAL and I just sat back and watched the defensive front KICK EACH OTHER'S YAMBAGS as I smoked Guinean marijuana and sat Indian style in a robe and wearing a turban. Both teams were picking pass plays and the defenses were picking the same plays. Even when they DIDN'T pick the same plays, they were raping the QBs. JUST LIKE the current defensive fronts for these teams. Michael Carter had two sacks in the first half and three overall, and it was 3-0 Giants late into the 2nd quarter. With no time on the clock, Young hit Rice on a slant for a dramatic TD, making the score 7-3 at the half. 49ers got a TD from Craig in the 3rd and the defenses still kicked each others' asses as Young threw two INTs in that qtr. In the 4th, with the score 14-3 and as I was speaking in tongues while smoking that expensive reefer as well as having some pork rinds and store-brand root beer, a 40 yarder to Taylor set up a Craig TD to ice the game at 21-3. Stephen Baker got a cosmetic TD from Hostetler to make the final score 21-10.

Yes, ladies and gentlemen, it WILL BE an All-Harbaugh SUPER BOWL!

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