Beef Juice

3/25/23 We're back!

Burning Mort 5 early outlook Keys to Beef’s Success: 1. Don’t touch the drums. 2. Don’t smoke anything. Thanks guys. I had so much fun, even when my incessant drumming cost my troupe’s chances and I smoked myself into the upside-down. Sincerely, Beef Juice (3-time last place king)

I’m on my way!

In the before times, great warriors would gather in the Dakota plains and do battle in contests of great strength, both physically and mentally. If you gaze out onto the horizon, they say you can see their spirits still, shitting on a makeshift toilet under some brush.

Safe to say at this point that 2020 is completely out of the question for Tomczak Bowl. We'll be back Spring of 2021 if we can get a vaccine before then.

Just remember. The real Burning Mort is in here. (Points to @sonofpatbeach's penis)

I'm not committed to saying I'm out yet. But my autoimmune compromised ass is definitely listed as "Doubtful" for this event unfortunately.

Most of you already know this, but Tomczak Bowl XII has been postponed indefinitely. We hope to reschedule for sometime late summer/early fall.

Yes, we're at The Venue at 285 Main Street, Dubuque, IA 52001. It's the same place you guys came to a couple years ago.

Second step would be growing biceps and forearms that are larger than your shoulders. Good lord, look at those!

We have some fun prizes to give away this year. Like last year we will offer them up in a series of challenges. Mike Tomczak Challenge Objective: Win as the Bears with Tomczak as your leading passer. Prize: Autographed 8x10 Tomczak photo Bonus: $20 added if you win with Tomczak as leading rusher. Jim Jensen Challenge Objective: Win as the Dolphins with Jim Jensen as your leading receiver. Prize: Jim Jensen autograph card Bonus: $20 added if you win and Jensen leads your team with 100+ yards receiving. Chadwick-Skansi Challenge Objective: Win as the Seahawks. Prize: Old school Seahawks coffee mug Bonus: $20 added if you win as Seahawks with either Jeff Chadwick or Paul Skansi as your leading receiver. All challenges must be completed in an official tourney match in order to qualify. No side games.

Alright we got 18 registered so I figured it was high time I actually get a bracket going. https://challonge.com/tomczak12 This will be an ongoing updated bracket as more folks sign up (and drop out). Nothing is set in stone until we officially begin play the day of the tournament.

Registration is now open! http://bit.ly/tomczak12 to sign up and reserve your spot today.

I'll be anyone's doubles partner if they don't mind being incredibly handicapped by having me as a doubles partner.